Recent Viewings, Part 2

[FatFreddysCat]

"M3GAN" (2023)
A robotics expert at a high-tech toy company creates a lifelike girl android as a companion for her recently-orphaned niece. As the little girl's attachment to her new "friend" grows, the robot begins to display dangerous levels of protective behavior.
If you've seen the recent "Child's Play" remake, this is somewhat similar, though it leans closer to sci-fi than straight up horror. The unrated version streaming on Peacock adds a few gory bits that weren't in the PG-13 theatrical cut, for whatever that's worth. Not a classic by any means but an OK time waster.

[Rev. Powell]

Unicorn Wars (2022)

This is a Franco-Spanish animated feature. The teddy bears, who live in a kind of military dictatorship, wage a holy war against the unicorns for possession of the enchanted forest. We follow two young recruits, the brothers Tubby, who is friendly and optimistic, and Bluey, who is a cruel and manipulative psychopath. Bluey dreams about becoming the saviour of the teddy bear race by drinking the blood of the last unicorn. Then they are sent into the forest on a mission.

Described by the producer as equal parts Apocalypse Now, Bambi and the Old Testament, this is absolutely, positively NOT a movie for children. Not only are the themes and characters pretty grim and cynical, there is also lots of graphic violence with teddy bears and unicorns coming to gruesome ends. It is to Care Bears what Meet the Feebles is to the Muppets. It is also bound to offend Christians.

It lacks a bit of narrative drive, with events just happening one after the other, but the end ties it all together. If you like nihilistic movies with buckets of blood, this is a must see. Reverend, if you haven't seen it already, track it down.

It's not out here yet and I'm not going to get to see it right away. Another writer from my site has seen it and is preparing a review.

[FatFreddysCat]

"Alien vs. Predator: Requiem" (2007)
Picking up where 2004's "AvP" left off, a Predator space ship crash lands near a small Colorado town, unleashing its payload of Alien facehuggers and a hybrid "Predalien" creature. The town is quickly overrun by hungry Xenomorphs, and a small group of cannon-fodder human characters are caught in the middle when the Predator home world sends out a lone "cleaner" agent to mop up the mess.
This sequel ups the carnage quotient and the body count considerably (it was rated "R," as opposed to the original's PG-13) but the human cast are little more than cardboard cut-outs and the dark/murky lighting design makes it hard to tell what's going on at times. Watchable if you're a fan of these franchises, otherwise there's no need to bother.

[Trevor]

Saw my neighbours doing the wild thing 😳😳

Don't know if that counts 😳😉😉🐢

[FatFreddysCat]

"Battleship" (2012)
Hostile aliens drop into the Pacific Ocean during a joint naval exercise between U.S. and Japanese naval vessels. Lotsa stuff blows up. The end.
This overlong, overblown, silly as hell big budget box office bomb (based very loosely on the classic board game) starts out as a gung-ho military training porn ala "Top Gun" before turning on a dime into an aquatic "Independence Day." The plot was probably written on a 3x5 card but the cast is fine and the special effects are impressive... so if you just wanna turn your brain off and watch a movie where stuff explodes for two hours straight, your (battle) ship has come in.

[ralfy]

I also saw Frogtown recently.

"There's a flap."

[Rev. Powell]

A HOLE IN MY HEART (2004): A son watches his father and a pair of actors shoot an increasingly violent and degrading amateur porn movie in their small apartment. A shocking (includes labia surgery and vomit play) experimental departure for Lukas Moodysson, whose previous movies were sexually daring but realistic and empathetic; this one seems like an attack on pornography and pornographic culture, but it's so gross, fractured, and filled with unlikable people that the impact gets lost. Sort of like a less formally daring Harmony Korine movie or a less thought-provoking Lars von Trier Dogma effort. 1.5/5.

[FatFreddysCat]

"Superhero Movie" (2008)
A dorky high school student (Drake Bell of Nickelodeon's "Drake & Josh") gains super powers from a genetically-altered insect bite, and adopts the superhero identity "Dragonfly" to protect his city from the super villain "Hourglass" (Christopher "Shooter McGavin" McDonald). Fart jokes, slapstick humor and tasteless sight gags mesh with the super-heroics in this better-than-expected spoof of comic book films from the producers of the "Scary Movie" franchise.
"Superhero Movie" gets most of its inspiration from Sam Raimi's "Spider-Man" trilogy but it also takes shots at the "Batman" and "X-Men" sagas along the way. It's a shame that this movie pre-dates the Marvel Cinematic Universe, because they would've had lots more material to parody!

[FatFreddysCat]

"Savage!" (1973)
A black American mercenary is hired by the government of an unnamed third world country to wipe out a revolutionary movement. When he learns more about the people on the "enemy" side, he realizes he's been playing for the wrong team and leads the revolutionaries against his former employers. 
A cheap but effective blaxploitation/action flick with a familiar plot, shot in the Philippines by legendary schlock meister Cirio H. Santiago (aka the Asian Roger Corman). The bullets keep flyin,' stuff keeps explodin,' and the short run time (less than 90 minutes) ensures that the movie doesn't wear out its welcome.

[FatFreddysCat]

"The Devil's Express" (aka "Gang Wars," 1976)
Two martial artists travel from New York to Hong Kong to attend a training camp, and are followed home by a resurrected Chinese demon. When the beast takes up residence in the subway and starts beheading random train riders, the only way to stop the demon is by defeating it in a Kung-Fu battle. I swear I am not making this plot up.
This absolutely insane mash up of Blaxploitation, martial arts, and Asian horror flicks is terrible, but the '70s NYC street scenes are a true time capsule, and the hero is played by an awesomely Afro'd dude named WARHAWK TANZANIA (!) which is the most badass action-hero name in movie history. Glorious crap!

[indianasmith]

COCAINE BEAR (2023) - Well, the title pretty much says it all.  A bear finds a bunch of packets of cocaine dumped in a national forest and goes on a murderous rampage.  The characters make this movie for me.  It's just sheer gory silliness, and I LOVED it!!!!   5/5

[Dr. Whom]

Teknolust (2002)

Doctor Rosetta Stone (who you'd think would be an egyptologist or at least a translator) creates three clones of herself. These need to have regular intakes of semen to survive, so one of them goes out to seduce men. This, however leaves the donors with a mysterious virus, which attracts the attention of the authorities.

I was tempted by the prospect of having four Tilda Swintons for the price of one, but the movie is a let down. There are no stakes or jeopardy, and the characters all have a turn for the weird, which makes it difficult to care for them. If there is any humour in it, I haven't seen it. This is basically an artsy high concept version of your 50s no-budget SF movie.

[lester1/2jr]

found footage: the series (2022) -there are 8 episodes. The first one is the best, the second one is the second best and on and on in this manner. I just realized I didn't watch episode 4 so I'll update. The acting gets gradually more cringe, but this has potential as the shorter running times allow for tighter execution.

3.5 /5

edit I tried to watch episode 4 it was a guy who seemed like a bartender trying to play a scientist. it's 2023 I'm not watching read throughs guys

[M.10rda]

Teknolust (2002)

I was tempted by the prospect of having four Tilda Swintons for the price of one, but the movie is a let down.

Sad to agree w/ you. I saw a cast list for this and lost my mind. Swinton plus BOTH Thomas Jay Ryan and James Urbaniak, AND Josh Kornbluth from HAIKU TUNNEL?! Indie movie magic, surely. Rocketed to the top of my must-see list. What a nothing deal, though. W/d Lynn Hershman Leeson simply didn't know what she was working w/ or what to do with it....... 

[Rev. Powell]

MST3K: THE SINISTER URGE: Ed Wood exposes the small-town smut racket! (The small town is Los Angeles!) The guys also watch a hygiene short, so they now know how to take a shower. Meanwhile, Frank's turned terrorist supervillain and plans to blow up Depp 13. A middle-of-the-road episode (which means quite funny) and another off my rapidly shrinking "never seen" list. 3.5/5.