Recent Viewings, Part 2

[M.10rda]

A HYENA IN THE SAFE (1968):
A what in the what, now? A handful of shady Europeans show up at an urban mansion during a noisy street festival, most in possession of one of six keys that will open a safe that contains millions of dollars in stolen diamonds. Naturally one key has gone missing and suspicions ignite, followed by the expected Agatha Christian regularly scheduled mayhem. There's definitely too much plot in this oddball giallo that immediately seems like it will be a Tarantino-type single location thriller but ultimately ends up more like OCEANS TWELVE in terms of gratuitous and probably nonsensical plot twists.

However, I did still get a kick out of A HYENA IN THE SAFE due primarily to the virtu-freakin'-osic visual choreography by director Cesare Canevari, who rarely settles for static or wide shots, instead restlessly moving both the camera and his actors to recreate compositions on the reg. Although this too was probably gratuitous and/or compulsive on Canevari's part, it did hold my interest consistently, purely because most shots look so cool and dynamic, and those that don't will end or reconstitute themselves in a jiffy. To their credit the cast of nobodies is also low-key cool and reasonably interesting, w/ special commendations to the main femme fatale Maria Luisa Geisberger, who looks like either a sexier Joan Collins or (sometimes) a drag queen, has no other credits on IMDB, and pitches out a truly overripe-to-hysterical performance. Certainly not boring, if also not brilliant!

3.5/5

Canevari mostly directed sexploitation, including THE GESTAPO'S LAST ORGY, a film that was ridiculous and disgusting yet did (as I recall) look pretty nice, so maybe there needs to be more Canevari in my future.

[M.10rda]

STALKED (1968):
This half-hour horror (?) flick defies explanation and might defy description (let's see): craggy misanthropic "house of wax" proprietor Jack Hawkins gets bummed out after wandering around his American carnival so he flies to his British hometown, only to find it deserted... but for one kinda' weird silent dude. If you think you know where STALKED is going, well so did I, but I was wrong. Things escalate swiftly into a manic Ken Russell-ish quasi-psychosexual (?!) climax, then Hawkins is somehow right back at the carnival and the film ends abruptly. Barry Sullivan provides narration throughout for some reason and still nothing is clarified. I was puzzled but I ain't mad about it.

Director Rolf Forsberg has a solid visual sense and a good grasp on creating an atmosphere of unease. His resume seems to consist entirely of documentaries, travelogues, and religious short subjects. Indeed, STALKED was produced by the American wing of the Lutheran Church! There's definitely Christian imagery goin' on but I admit I don't have the foggiest idea what kind of Christian or Lutheran message the Lutherans were trying to make here. Still, I'll take an open-ended conversation piece over the ham-handed proselytizing of many explicitly "religious" films any day.

3/5

Recently I read that Hawkins was voted "Britain's favorite marquee star" or something in the 1940s or 50s. That strikes me as pleasantly bizarre in any case - like Ernest Borgnine being voted America's most beloved leading man - but I particularly wonder how Brits in 1968 would react when they go to see their nation's former answer to Tom Hanks in a new short and they get this creeptacular experience for their ticket price.

[lester1/2jr]

Mandrake (Made for TV 1979) - feature length un-picked up pilot for a Mandrake the Magician TV show. The concept: a little kid who grows up in mystical Tibet becomes a Las Vegas magician and also a crime fighter, certainly had potential but it falls a little flat. No surprise it didn't make it, but it's worth seeing for the lo fi special effects and 70's TV atmosphere.



The star, whoever he is, reminded me of Larry from Three's Company. He's badly upstaged by his cool, funny assistant Lothar and especially Robert Reed from The Brady Bunch, who is perfect as a sleazy amusement park owner.

3.25 /5 It's entertaining and well put together but it didn't have any "magic" for me ahahe

[FatFreddysCat]

"Meteor" (1979)
A five-mile-wide hunk of space rock is on a collision course with Earth, which would be an extinction-level catastrophe. A NASA scientist (Sean Connery) and his Russian counterpart (Brian Keith) must figure out how to align the nuclear weapons of both nations in time to destroy it before impact.
A typically cheeseball late-inning entry into the 70s disaster-movie craze, with an amazing all star cast (in addition to Connery and Keith, we got Henry Fonda, Natalie Wood, Martin Landau, and Karl Malden, too). Everyone over-acts like crazy, the special effects are charmingly cheap, and its Cold War political intrigue is way out of date. Meteor is a true time capsule, and it's a hoot.

[Dr. Whom]

Pathaan (2023)

Shah Rukh Khan is Pathaan, the maverick special agent who has to stop a supervillain from releasing a deadly virus.

I don't watch action blockbusters such as James Bond or Mission Impossible, so I don't know how this compares to US production. However, one thing stands out, Bollywood doesn't want its action heroes gritty or grounded, it wants them borderline superhero. This is a glorious extravaganza of improbable action scenes, exotic locations and actors looking glamourous. SRK has clearly spent a lot of time in the gym and Deepika Padukone is gorgeous as only she can be.

Special mention for having a charismatic and resourceful villain. He is one step ahead of the good guys for most of the movie, and can do actual damage. Some recent movies I saw (No one will save you, for one) suffered from having downright ineffective villains, which ruins the suspense.

Silly as only Bollywood can be, but loads of fun.

Also kudos to SRK for having India saved by two non-Indian protagonists (himself as the titular Pathaan and Deepika Padukone as a Pakistani agent) in a climate when Hindu nationalists are ready to take offense at everything and anything (including the colour of Deepika Padukone's bikini in one scene).

[RCMerchant]

SOFT LIQUID CENTER (2023)

A woman leaves her husband (boyfriend?) and moves into a house that may be haunted. Or is she just loosing her mind?
It seems to be set in the late 80'S, early 90's, judging by her portable box TV and wall phone, but maybe it's just some kinda Twilight Zone- who knows.
That's about it as far as plot goes, and if you don't like "slow burn" type of movies, you may drift off a bit, but I found it fascinating. This film just creeps up on you, and weird, seemingly everyday moments veer into a sort of dreamlike, try-to-run, but the ground is soft mud vibe. One of the oddest-and best- horror films I seen this year. Highlights- our heroine eviscerating an unstill watermelon; stirring a glass of Kool-Aid in a trance; listening to a woman describing being stalked by no one in a slow acid trip. I think you would like this one, Rev. It's weird. I was impressed...and I'm not sure why.
Oh yeah- the cinematography is beautiful.

[Trevor]

"Meteor" (1979)
A five-mile-wide hunk of space rock is on a collision course with Earth, which would be an extinction-level catastrophe. A NASA scientist (Sean Connery) and his Russian counterpart (Brian Keith) must figure out how to align the nuclear weapons of both nations in time to destroy it before impact.
A typically cheeseball late-inning entry into the 70s disaster-movie craze, with an amazing all star cast (in addition to Connery and Keith, we got Henry Fonda, Natalie Wood, Martin Landau, and Karl Malden, too). Everyone over-acts like crazy, the special effects are charmingly cheap, and its Cold War political intrigue is way out of date. Meteor is a true time capsule, and it's a hoot.

I saw that in my hometown cinema in 1979 in my last year of primary school 😊

[Rev. Powell]

SOFT LIQUID CENTER (2023)

... I think you would like this one, Rev. It's weird. I was impressed...and I'm not sure why.
Oh yeah- the cinematography is beautiful.

Thanks, I had never even heard of it... which is pretty weird itself, since I usually hear about every ultra-low-budget horror release whether I want to or not!

[FatFreddysCat]

"9 Deaths of the Ninja" (1985)
In this crap-tacular Filipino/U.S. co-production, martial arts master Sho Kosugi is part of a crack anti-terrorist team sent to Manila to rescue a bus full of American diplomats and their families, who've been taken hostage by drug runners.
"9 Deaths" starts off as a fairly straight action movie, but suddenly turns into a campy spoof of James Bond style spy thrillers, with random ninja attacks, midget assassins, a villainess with Darth Vader helmet hair named "Honey Hump," and godawful, mugging over-acting by nearly everyone in the cast (Seriously, when Sho friggin' Kosugi is the BEST actor in your movie, it might be time to re-assess your casting process...)!
Normally I enjoy Sho's low budget butt kickers, but this one was a pointless, directionless slog.
AVOID.

Useless fun fact: actor Blackie Dammett, who plays the film's wheelchair-bound, monkey-toting, drug addled Nazi super villain, is the father of the Red Hot Chili Peppers vocalist Anthony Kiedis.

[Rev. Powell]

CHRONICLES OF A WANDERING SAINT (2023): A pious Argentinian woman finds a statue of St. Rita, which had mysteriously disappeared years ago,  in her local church storeroom, and hopes that it's a miracle. The end of the first act brings a major twist to the story, which I won't spoil except to say that it turns what had been a low-key drama into a broad, but simultaneously sentimental, religious satire. 3.5/5.

[Trevor]

FIGURES IN A LANDSCAPE (1970)

I last saw this on TV in the 1970s: still very enthralling ☺️🐢

[lester1/2jr]

Murder by Natural Causes (Made For TV 1979) - Most made for TV movies don't evoke Adrian Lynne and David Fincher, but this one does. At the same time, it's also kind of just a really good Colombo episode. Katharine Ross is great as the slutty temptress working to take everybody's money in the wacky world of fake ESP readings, while Hal Holbrook seems to have a good time as her unlikely, much older husband, ironically oblivious to what's going on around him.

It's short on style and 70's flavor, but the plot and writing are super strong. There are more colorful options for sure, but it's well worth checking out, as the sky high ratings on IMDB etc attest. The prints on Youtube are above average quality, which tells you something in itself.

4.5 /5

[Rev. Powell]

"Glauber Rocha - The Movie, Brazil's Labyrinth" (2003): This portrait of eccentric leftist Brazilian cinema novo director Rocha is mostly informative and interesting interviews, but has an experimental style focusing on the metaphor of a labyrinth. Rocha comes off as brilliant and original, but also paranoid and highly narcissistic (at times unpleasantly so, as when he protested against the Cannes jury's decision to give Louis Malle the Palme d'Or over his own poorly received film). An extra on the Criterion Collection "Black God, White Devil" disc. 3/5.

[RCMerchant]

BE MY CAT (2015)- A Romanian guy with an obsession with American actress Anne Hathaway decides that the best way to convince her to star in his movie is to cast unwitting ladies to for his horror film about a loser who is obsessed with Anne Hathaway. Follow Me? And the best way to do that is by terrorizing, torturing, and killing them, of course! Oh yeah- and he wants to dress them like a cat as he kills them- hence the title.
Now, I'm not a big fan of the 'found footage' genre, but the lead actor ( Adrian Tofie, who is also the director and writer) is so believable in his role, and the horror so well done that I'm excited to look up more of his work.

[indianasmith]

BE MY CAT (2015)- A Romanian guy with an obsession with American actress Anne Hathaway decides that the best way to convince her to star in his movie is to cast unwitting ladies to for his horror film about a loser who is obsessed with Anne Hathaway. Follow Me? And the best way to do that is by terrorizing, torturing, and killing them, of course! Oh yeah- and he wants to dress them like a cat as he kills them- hence the title.
Now, I'm not a big fan of the 'found footage' genre, but the lead actor ( Adrian Tofie, who is also the director and writer) is so believable in his role, and the horror so well done that I'm excited to look up more of his work.

Well, I can understand the obsession with Anne Hathaway. . .