Recent Viewings, Part 2

[FatFreddysCat]

"The Meg" (2018)
The crew of an offshore ocean-research platform comes under attack by a massive Megalodon, a prehistoric shark drawn from the uncharted depths. Much splashing and chomping ensues.
Action hero Jason Statham is the only face I recognized in this Chinese/American co-production based on the best selling novel. Essentially this is a SyFy Channel movie premise with a gazillion dollar budget. It's crap, but it's entertaining crap.

[lester1/2jr]

Blonde Savage (1947) - I liked this throwaway sort of jungle adventure thingy. A macho guy and his wimpier, wisecracking sidekick make their living doing missions and so forth in Africa. They get a big paying job that ends up being a huge headache, but it helps the macho guy meet the titular savage. Lucky for him, she wears her hair like American women in the 1940's, so it'll be an easy transition to western civilization if things work out. All they have to do is exchange her loincloth for a pointy boob dress. Or will he stay and fashion himself a he-loincloth?



It's well cast and the modest plot line doesn't attempt anything too fancy. Tubi's print is just okay. The made up jungle language spoken by the blonde savage and her clan is charmingly ridiculous.

4.25 /5

edit: It's not a romantic drama though I kind of unknowingly implied that. It's action with fistfights, jailbreaks, and native blow darts.

[FatFreddysCat]

"Meg 2: The Trench" (2023)
Jason Statham returns for another round of fightin' giant prehistoric sharks and other sea beasties unleashed by an illegal mining operation on the ocean floor. Just like the first "Meg," this was silly but entertaining popcorn junk. Turn off your brain and enjoy the monster mayhem.

[M.10rda]

A macho guy and his wimpier, wisecracking sidekick

^^^Every 30s, 40s, and 50s comedy/adventure ever made

[Rev. Powell]

MAGNETOSPHERE (2024): A 13-year old girl with synesthesia (seeing sounds, hearing colors, etc.) struggles with moving to a new town, first crushes, bullies, and the usual. Actually, young Margaret, whose able to draw pictures in the air with tracers from her fingers and who vomits when an art lesson gets to intense, seems to have Hallucinogen Persisting Perception Disorder more than garden variety synesthesia---maybe her hippie parents bottle fed her LSD? Anyway, aside from the cute kiddie psychedelic motif, it's a predictable and well-meaning coming of age film, with very broad attempts at comedy (from "Whose Line Is It Anyway's" Colin Mochrie as a Creed Bratton=like handyman) that fall flat.  2/5.

[indianasmith]

WEREWOLF IN A WOMEN'S PRISON (2007) Yeah, this one was about what you'd expect from an early 2000's film with this title.  Massive, crudely costumed werewolf, innocent American girl in a foreign jail, copious nudity, blood, and gore.  B-movie of the classic Joe Bob Briggs variety!

[FatFreddysCat]

"Thunder" (aka "Thunder Warrior," 1983)
A young Native American returns to his home town and finds out that unscrupulous land developers have desecrated his tribe's sacred burial ground. When his complaints to the local authorities fall on deaf ears, he resolves the situation by blowin' a whole lotta stuff up, crashing a lot of cars, and shooting things with arrows and bazooka rounds.
A surprisingly entertaining, cheap n' cheesy Italian knock off of "First Blood," followed by two sequels. Better than expected.

[Rev. Powell]

VAMPIRE ZOMBIES... FROM SPACE! (2024): Vampires from space zombify the residents of a small Midwestern town in the 1950s, presumably as their first step in conquering the world. Channeling the b&w spirit of Ed Wood (but with some anachronistic gore), this silly and affectionate spoof is an easy watch that provides a few chuckles. People on this site are the target audience. 3/5.

[Trevor]

"Thunder" (aka "Thunder Warrior," 1983)
A young Native American returns to his home town and finds out that unscrupulous land developers have desecrated his tribe's sacred burial ground. When his complaints to the local authorities fall on deaf ears, he resolves the situation by blowin' a whole lotta stuff up, crashing a lot of cars, and shooting things with arrows and bazooka rounds.
A surprisingly entertaining, cheap n' cheesy Italian knock off of "First Blood," followed by two sequels. Better than expected.

That is a very good movie indeed. 🙂🐢

[M.10rda]

THE DESPERADO TRAIL aka WINNETOU TEIL 3 aka WINNETOU PART 3: THE LAST SHOT (1965):
The mysterious saga of Karl May's Winnetou "trilogy" on Prime Video deepens! Unlike Prime's "Part"s 1 + 2, this film (called DESPERADO TRAIL in some markets and THE LAST SHOT on Prime) is actually titled "Teil" or Part "3" per the original German credits... in spite of there being no fewer than FOUR previous Winnetou movies starring Pierre Brice in the title role and Lex Barker as "Old Shatterhand".  Presumably this one was made and released as "Part 3" because it's a (direct?) adaptation of (what Dr. Whom tells us was) May's third and final novel in a trilogy....... and indeed, THE LAST SHOT provides a definitive closing chapter to the Winnetou/Shatterhand mythos. Nevertheless, Pierre Brice returned for multiple later Winnetou movies, sometimes w/ Barker and sometimes w/ a ringer playing Shatterhand. That's capitalism for ya'!    #JohnWick    #RDJintheAvengersverse    #KeatonClooneyBatffleck

Krimi master Harald Reinl directed four of the five original Winnetou movies, including all three on Prime. To review, "Part 1" is mildly insensitive and sometimes hilariously incompetent but a lot of fun; "Part 2" is much less fun but has a better supporting cast and the most laughable bear-suit ever captured on film. Somehow Reinl figured out all the elements by "Teil 3", though, 'cause THE LAST SHOT is an unironically well-made and good film. Maybe it isn't a "great" film, but the fact that it's as accomplished and compelling as it is means - a lot!

In a typically complex May-plot that pits good natives & palefaces against confused natives & palefaces and outright evil honkeys, the mid-film centerpiece (a Reinl/May staple) is a marathon where a huge posse of baddies pursue Winnetou from the plains into the mountains and over a waterfall into a lake et al... and both the action (where Winnetou capably handles multiple simultaneous assailants as if he's Keanu Reeves) and the slower suspense/stalking portions are equally gripping. Meanwhile, Lex Barker finally delivers multiple highly convincing Shatterhand-punches in several fights excellently choreographed by Reinl. At last!!!  British goofball "Lord Castlepool" is nowhere to be seen, so for obligatory sidekick comic relief we get the return of "Part 1"'s crazy frontiersman w/ the ludicrous wig and facial hair. He gets his own (elaborate, unnecessary) subplot, including a love interest, but more importantly he manages to keep his moustache on in all close-ups!!! I don't mean to undersell THE LAST SHOT's accomplishments, but (unlike the two previous parts on Prime) it in no way qualifies as a "bad" movie!

And let me say this for all three Prime prints: they're gorgeous - and look more pristine than some Prime prints from the 80s or 90s, let alone the 60s. Reinl always managed to work picturesque landscapes into these films, but in THE LAST SHOT the locations become really critical to the plot and the action. And, they're just plain breathtaking. I imagine all these films were shot somewhere in Europe, but it ain't the arid "old west" of Leone movies. Wherever it is, I buy it as the unsettled U.S. in all its myriad beauty.

Politics were well-meaning but patronizing in Part 1, absent in Part 2, and... downright solid here. Barker's stoic, taciturn performance really pays off in a big way in this culminating chapter - Shatterhand is the textbook Good Ally. It's clear Shatterhand doesn't understand or buy into absolutely all the indigenous wisdom that Winnetou utters, but he never challenges him because he knows they're essentially on the same side of the argument. The Bad Guys baldly project their values: xenophobia, greed, fear and mistrust over principles, misinformation as a weapon, profit at any cost. Winnetou and Shatterhand present the opposing argument: truth, loyalty, reason, communal good over self-interest, and above all else - Progress. It's a credit to the screenwriters (!) or even the dubbers (!!!) that the heroes communicate these values in as few words as possible (instead of through lengthy speeches) yet demonstrate and reinforce through their behavior.

It began to occur to me as THE LAST SHOT approached its last shot that this might be the strongest, or best, "old-fashioned" Western I've ever seen. I don't include Leone or Hellman westerns, or THE WILD BUNCH or anything after that, or possibly even the dark old Anthony Mann westerns. But I think I do include in my math MY DARLING CLEMENTINE, SHANE, HIGH NOON, APACHE DRUMS (which is pretty good!), and every Ford/Wayne western I've seen... yes, even LIBERTY VALANCE, which I thought was kinda' jank, and THE SEARCHERS, which required Paul Schrader to remake it, (twice) before it works in the way that film professors or Tarantino tell us it works. (This also includes most of the retrograde EuroWesterns I've seen.) I never bought much into the romanticizing or mythologizing of the West, and when a film like LIBERTY VALANCE tries to put over Old West values as a bromide for modern conflicts, my eyes tend to roll backwards into my skull. Miraculously, WINNETOU 3 sells that deed of land to this old prospector.

Also it looks so much nicer than any John Ford movie. Now I've talked myself into that extra 0.5:

4/5
I'd almost watch more Barker/Brice/Reinl movies now - though I suspect this is the gem in the bunch.

[Rev. Powell]

DEAD MAIL (2024): A torn postcard from a kidnap victim with a partial address ends up in the dead letter office, and the kidnapper is intent on getting it back and sealing loose ends. Set in the 80s with a grainy visual style and a fascination with vintage synthesizers that leads to some amazing sound design; this thriller's plot ends up quite odd and somewhat slow, but it managed to keep my attention. 3/5.

[lester1/2jr]

The Last Dragon (1985) - This was clunkier than I remember, but that makes sense. Basically, it does a pretty good job of having the plot develop in a way that gets you involved and want to goofily stand up and cheer. At the same time, it's really amateurish in many ways, especially the writing and the acting. There are no evocative shots of New York City, genuinely dramatic moments, or much going on at all for anyone over the age of ten, but if you are the age of 10, or in touch with your inner ten year old, it's pretty cool. 

A much dorkier than I remember kid is "Bruce Leroy" and is fated to go against Sho' Nuff, the kung fu master of Harlem who wears pro football shoulder pads when he walks around with his not very intimidating looking crew. He must "look within" and so forth to discover his inner kung fu hero. A great idea was having Vanity from Purple Rain (I think?) as his co star and prospective love interest. She adds some badly needed maturity and acting experience to the proceedings and is, needless to say, believable as a sex pot. Some of the comedic bits are extremely silly. It's kind of like a Cannon feature.

I liked it, but probably won't watch it again for a very long time. That I remembered it as being really awesome says something, though.

4/5

also rewatched Miracle Mile (1988) - I think I gave this a 5/5 a number of years ago and I actually liked it better this time around. Tubi's print is a little dark. Miracle Mile has been remastered for Blu Ray and this is definitely not that.

Gilbert from Revenge of the Nerds meets and in the same day falls in love with a girl. While trying to quickly court her, he also learns that a nuclear holocaust is imminent and he must do what he can to get out of LA. It's a "real time" kind of concept and many, many spontaneous and wacky things happen. It just has different situations and stuff going on than most movies. My favorite part was when he secures a helicopter for escape, but it doesn't have a driver, so he has to just go walking around on the street asking if any random person he sees can fly a helicopter. The street cleaner passes in front of him so he asks that guy. What else can he do?

5/5

Today, we are even closer to some sort of nuclear incident, but everyone is so dead inside that we watch superhero movies,smoke legalized weed, etc and feel fine about everything.