Recent Viewings, Part 2

[lester1/2jr]

ahhh now I get it

[indianasmith]

SHE WALKS THE WOODS (2019) - This was a fairly routine found footage movie that really amped up the tension in the last 15 minutes.  After a quick intro of some guys running through the woods, screaming, chased by an unknown predator, followed by a disclaimer that "16,000 people have gone missing in America's National Parks," the story gets underway.
Three young men are shooting an "ultimate survival" video on some property belonging to this girl Hope's family - so of course she goes along.  They spend a LOT of time just talking, shooting footage for their channel, and finally in he last 15 minutes they run afoul of some bizarre female humanoid who makes short work of them all. I will say, the makeup job of the monster is the best thing about the whole film, and the payoff makes the long wait for any action worthwhile.  If you like found footage films, you might enjoy this.

[lester1/2jr]

Second to Die (2002) - Erika Elaniak from Baywatch plays a duel role as two sisters, one who is reading about the other sister's life and one who is the sister being read about. It's pretty mid range as far as Lifetime movies, not terrible and not great. They will have the main story then every once in a while they cut to the other sister sitting there reading the diary and being like "Wow, that is really something". That kind of thing.

A woman is in an unhappy marriage and plots to kill her mean husband, but ...is everything as it appears???? It wouldn't be Lifetime if it didn't have some campy/ entertaining stuff, but most of the movie isn't super exciting. Elaniak is nude briefly, but it's with her creepy ginger boyfriend.

I think I probably decided to watch it, and stayed with it, because Elaniak is blonde. "Passably entertaining" pretty much covers it.

3.5 /5

good ending

[zombie no.one]

does she jump out of a cake? hard pass if no.


DIE HARD WITH A VENGEANCE (1995)

maybe 3rd of 4th rewatch since ever, I reeealy want to like it, but always get so far in then realise I don't know or care what's going on. I get the overall plot obviously but it just all turns to random actiony run around mush about half way in.

a military style version of 'The Animals Went In Two By Two' keeps playing over everything and it's perhaps the worst choice of music ever.

f u n fact: according to wiki this movie was originally supposed to have a pirates/sea plotline, but that was scrapped and eventually became SPEED 2... then a movie pitch called SIMON SAYS which was originally supposed to be a Brandon Lee vehicle (until he died), and which had already been re-purposed as a LETHAL WEAPON sequel and abandoned, was then turned into DIE HARD 3... what an in-organic merry go round of corperate bs, I think it shows in the final product tbh

[Rev. Powell]

THIRTY TWO SHORT FILMS ABOUT GLEN GOULD (1993): As the title promises, the movie delivers a patchwork of short segments---interviews, recreations, and abstract experimental tributes---to the eccentric piano virtuoso. An invigorating and offbeat approach that creatively overcomes the stale cliches of the typical biopic. 4.5/5.

[FatFreddysCat]

"Absolutely Anything" (2015)
Space aliens endow a bumbling Englishman (Simon Pegg) with absolute power as a "test" of humanity. If he uses these powers for good, they will leave the Earth in peace, but if he uses them for evil, they will destroy the planet. As Pegg gets the hang of his new abilities, they naturally cause chaos for everyone around him.
This British comedy is kinda like a sci-fi spin on "Bruce Almighty."  It was directed by Terry Jones of Monty Python fame (his fellow Pythons provide the voices of the aliens), and the cast includes Robin Williams (who voices Pegg's dog "Dennis"), Kate "Underworld" Beckinsale and Eddie Izzard. Enjoyably silly stuff.

[M.10rda]

DIE HARD WAV is easily the worst of the (5?) DIE HARD movies. That last one isn't too hot, either, but at least it ain't ...WITH A VENGEANCE. One would think a Bruce and Sam team-up would write itself. Apparently it didn't!

But this is the "Good Movies" section, so let me instead recommend you one...

[zombie no.one]

hah, by all means...

I only put that in 'good movies' because it kind of feels like it should be one.

[M.10rda]

ERIE TALES aka UNCANNY TALES aka UNHEIMLICHE GESCHICHTEN (1919):
An elderly bookseller hurries his customers out at closing time, only to return to a shop that is anything but empty. The subjects of three large portraits hung on the rear wall - "Der Tod", the Grim Reaper; "Der Tuefel", or "the Devil", though he's dressed and coifed exactly like Bela Lugosi as Dracula; and "Die Derne", which literally would be "female servant" though it historically developed connotations closer to "young hussy" or, most commonly, "whore"  though she looks like a perfectly nice young woman to me! - emerge from their frames, chase the old man away, and then settle in to enjoy his many spooky volumes. All of this is established in about sixty seconds. I was hooked - and EERIE TALES rarely slows down. It's a real hoot.

Conrad Veidt plays "Der Tod" (a year before THE CABINET OF DR. CALIGARI!) and looks a lot like a young Daniel Day-Lewis. In stark contrast, Reinhold Schunzel as "Der Tuefel" looks very much like Joe Flaherty (whether in or even out of his "Count Floyd" get-up) as well as (alternately) Jack Benny, Lawrence R. Harvey, and Peter "Family Guy" Griffin. Blonde Anita Berber as "Die Derne" looks like Elizabeth Moss if Elizabeth Moss wasn't "weird hot" but actually a full-on seven alarm smokeshow. As they read the old man's books, we see each of five stories dramatized by the three actors. Veidt is the dashing male lead in the first three and Schunzel is the heavy, then suddenly they switch types for the last two. (Berber is always some kind of hot chick - ah, 20th century cinema!)

The first story, "The Apparition", is a romance w/ psycho-thriller and ghost story McGuffins thrown in. Its final twist is almost exactly the same as the weird 1950 mystery SO LONG AT THE FAIR, except that film takes so long to unpack and justify its (preposterous) reveal that it loses all impact and interest. "The Apparition", on the other hand, unspools crisp and clean, and its final shot packs both a wallop and a hearty guffaw. The second story, "The Hand", is a love triangle-turned-revenge plot and the only installment that is authentically supernatural. The centerpiece is Poe's "Black Cat", elaborated with a little romance. (Cat-Spoiler: Schunzel hits a live cat twice with his floppy hat and later drop-kicks what is pretty clearly a fake cat - but the lovely feline escapes all other harm.)

The last two tales get a jolt from the casting switch-up. #4 is an adaptation of Robert Louis Stephenson's "The Suicide Club", which I guess also inspired that one segment from NIGHT TRAIN TO TERROR. Veidt is a rich weirdo who plays a form of nightly roulette with a bunch of sweaty depressives, including the hapless Schunzel, who must quickly figure out a means of escape lest he perish. The last episode is an original written by the film's director, Richard Oswald, where Veidt plays an 18th century French aristocrat wrapped up in affairs of state and thus ignoring Berber, his beautiful and lusty spouse, until unlikely lothario Schunzel arrives to shake things up. Although it's pure comedy and the most conventional of the five stories, this one has some lovely dialogue at the end - yes, in intertitle - and as a husband who often struggles to flirt effectively w/ his wife, I can relate!

ERIE/UNCANNY TALES has mixed reviews on Letterboxd, and most of the best are from users who clearly want to sleep w/ Veidt.  Those less thirsty for the Man Who Laughed appear underwhelmed - but for my two cents, E/UT delivered everything I rarely get from most silent flicks. A good comparison is with 1926's STUDENT OF PRAGUE, also starring Veidt but enjoying far better scores and reviews on LB. STUDENT OF PRAGUE is so recklessly written, directed, shot, and edited that about 50% of the time I had no idea what I was looking at or why and another 45% of the time I knew and just didn't care. During most of that 95%, Conrad Veidt just sort of appears in shots and sometimes it isn't even clear that he knew the camera was rolling or pointing at him and other times he seems to be earnestly winging it with little clue from the director about WTF is up.

E/UT is a whole different ballgame. Practically every consecutive shot in this film communicates clear information that moves the story forward and often is either spooky or bizarre or over-the-top or hilarious or some/all of the above. It's an easy film to watch in that you're never confused about what's happening or why you should care, and yet you still feel compelled to keep watching to see what will happen next. Oswald is, in short, a good director. But I'll go further than that - what distinguishes Oswald from some other good directors is that so much of his storytelling is left to the actors. With no sound/speech and only occasional intertitles, it's still crystal clear at any and every moment what each of the leads is thinking, feeling, experiencing - through their posture, gesture, and facial expressions. Schunzel is an odd but watchable presence; Berber is so gorgeous she would be mesmerizing even if she wasn't capable of extraordinary emotional transparency (particularly in the first episode); and Veidt is never less than a tour-de-force, whether playing a legitimately fascinating character (as in "Suicide Club") or serving profound empathy even as the uni-dimensional plot mechanic in the Poe story. I ain't thirsting for his bod (like others) but I do want to watch more movies where the director knew what to do with his talents!

4.5/5
One of the best, most seamless, least clunky pre-20s silents I've seen.