Recent Viewings, Part 2

[lester1/2jr]

Cold Hell (2017) - This is sort of the "foreign film" version of a Cannon/ Michael Dudikoff action movie from the 80's. Generic and implausible plot stuff, but with artsy looking people and situations meant to press all the Friday night at Coolidge Corner Theater buttons. The big selling point is the main actress whatever her name is. She's very pretty and looks like what people think young women in Williamsburg, Brooklyn look like, though she's actually from Uzbekistan.

A cab driver in Austria gets seen by a serial killer who sees her looking out her window at him serial killing someone. Here's the first plot problem: when we first meet her, we learn she is a champion Thai kick boxer, of all things. She beats up 3 different men BEFORE she is seen by the serial killer guy. 100% of the people watching this will not understand why then is she so afraid of one guy holding maybe a knife at best? Why does she think he will come after her? Why would he if he (apparently) kills prostitutes and she isn't one?

This could have been cleared up by him having the thing called a gun and/ or maybe him GRADUALLY getting inside her head some way or something. The rest of the plot movements are similarly clunky, but the acting is pretty decent. You can kind of see it on their faces that they know it's sort of a mess.

A decent effort in some respects, but certainly not a home run.

I'll go 3.8/ 5

Foreign film buffs might put it higher, action/ thriller fans probably lower. Title is random.

[FatFreddysCat]

"The Phantom Empire" (1987)

Cave explorers stumble into a hidden underground world populated by flesh eating mutants, dinosaurs, cave girls in bikinis, and an alien warrior queen who wants to capture the surface dwellers and make them her slaves.
 
There's a lot to unpack in this campy, schlocky flick, which is supposedly based on a 1930s Gene Autry movie serial by the same name. It was written and directed in six days by no-budget maestro Fred Olen Ray, and it's full of corny dialogue, plentiful T&A, and stock footage borrowed from other movies. A few familiar faces like Michelle "Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers" Bauer, Sybil Danning, and Jeffrey "Re-Animator" Combs do their best with the thin material. Hell, there's even a cameo by Robby the Robot from "Forbidden Planet!"

Make no mistake, this movie was crap, but it was strangely entertaining crap.