Recent Viewings, Part 2

[lester1/2jr]

Cold Hell (2017) - This is sort of the "foreign film" version of a Cannon/ Michael Dudikoff action movie from the 80's. Generic and implausible plot stuff, but with artsy looking people and situations meant to press all the Friday night at Coolidge Corner Theater buttons. The big selling point is the main actress whatever her name is. She's very pretty and looks like what people think young women in Williamsburg, Brooklyn look like, though she's actually from Uzbekistan.

A cab driver in Austria gets seen by a serial killer who sees her looking out her window at him serial killing someone. Here's the first plot problem: when we first meet her, we learn she is a champion Thai kick boxer, of all things. She beats up 2 different men BEFORE she is seen by the serial killer guy. 100% of the people watching this will not understand why then is she so afraid of one guy holding maybe a knife at best? Why does she think he will come after her? Why would he if he (apparently) kills prostitutes and she isn't one?

This could have been cleared up by him having the thing called a gun and/ or maybe him GRADUALLY getting inside her head some way or something. The rest of the plot movements are similarly clunky, but the acting is pretty decent. You can kind of see it on their faces that they know it's sort of a mess.

A decent effort in some respects, but certainly not a home run.

I'll go 3.8/ 5

Foreign film buffs might put it higher, action/ thriller fans probably lower. Title is random.

[FatFreddysCat]

"The Phantom Empire" (1987)

Cave explorers stumble into a hidden underground world populated by flesh eating mutants, dinosaurs, cave girls in bikinis, and an alien warrior queen who wants to capture the surface dwellers and make them her slaves.
 
There's a lot to unpack in this campy, schlocky flick, which is supposedly based on a 1930s Gene Autry movie serial by the same name. It was written and directed in six days by no-budget maestro Fred Olen Ray, and it's full of corny dialogue, plentiful T&A, and stock footage borrowed from other movies. A few familiar faces like Michelle "Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers" Bauer, Sybil Danning, and Jeffrey "Re-Animator" Combs do their best with the thin material. Hell, there's even a cameo by Robby the Robot from "Forbidden Planet!"

Make no mistake, this movie was crap, but it was strangely entertaining crap.

[indianasmith]

"Strangely entertaining crap" describes a LOT of the movies we watch here!

[M.10rda]

Supergirl (2026)
Not bad. Nowhere near as bad as some are making it out to be. 

I had no idea about how "some" were making it out to be, nor about its poor box office.
I haven't had 3 hours to go to the drive-in and watch it, but I'd been excited and am bummed that much of the spin is anti-DC (not a novel thing), anti-Gunn (unsurprising), and anti-female (the stalest $#!t ever).

I really don't think it should have bombed like it did.  And yes, the criticisms made by a certain type of online personality have gotten even more annoying and bothersome at this point.   

SUPERGIRL (2026):
We finally watched this on Prime - and paid for the rental, and I don't regret it. I think it's Better, or at least an easier movie to enjoy, than 2017's WONDER WOMAN (which I liked) - and maybe for that matter better and easier to enjoy than Gunn's lore-dense SUPERMAN (ditto). The action is terrific, the SFX are terrific, there are a handful of gorgeous shots (courtesy of the director of LARS AND THE REAL GIRL, of all things). A lot of the screenplay (from a first-timer) is deft and well-handled, a bit of it is OTN and could've used a light polish. Milly Alcock (who I disliked on "House of the Dragon", though honestly I checked out of that early) is a sympathetic and multi-dimensional Supergirl; Jason Momoa is an ideal Lobo. (Madame commented at one point that she thought he was doing Michael Keaton as Betelgeuse, and indeed - comic book Lobo unquestionably lent inspiration to the titular BEETLEJUICE and then became more like Keaton's character after the movie was a hit. As in Gunn's GOTG3 and SUPERMAN, the antagonist is truly despicable - a positive thing, I think, in this kind of movie.

In spite of some sub-Gunn needle drops, I'm unsure what a legitimate condemnation of SUPERGIRL might be. We saw Supergirl for 30 seconds in SUPERMAN, thus maybe the smarter move would've been to develop her as a supporting character in that film. But Gunn promised (for better or worse) to do two things w/ his DC movies - one, to refrain from making any one film dependent on another (mission accomplished here) and two, to exploit different genres. On the latter point one might object that Supergirl isn't much of a superhero movie (neither was WONDER WOMAN) - but it's a great sci-fi action movie.

I imagine the final reasonable objection would be that SUPERGIRL wears its non-comic influences on both sleeves and its back - w/ Daenerys Targaryen's great-grandmother and Khal Drogo aiding a defenseless Arya Stark on a revenge mission against Immortan Joe's army of steampunk r@pists - but as an enormous FURY ROAD stan and the world's biggest (o.g.) GAME OF THRONES stan, I am immune.    4/5

[M.10rda]

DOUBLE DOOR (1934):
Three adult siblings live in their family's Manhattan mansion: Rip, who's about 30 and about to be married; Caroline, who's 42 and single; and Victoria, who must be around 80 and is pure evil. Victoria lives to psychologically and sometimes physically torment Rip and Caroline, and now plans to literally murder her lovely new sister-in-law Anne if Anne won't get in line to take her share of licks. DOUBLE DOOR is about 30 years early for the oldsploitation genre of the 60s and 70s (BABY JANE, SWEET CHARLOTTE, the films of Curtis Harrington) but that makes it nicely offbeat for its vintage. Some of its high-contrast B+W photography looks spookier than anything in Tod Browning or James Whale. All of the supporting acting is good, there's a bit more psychological insight than in most films of the era, and although her family struggles to endure her sadism to keep the peace, Victoria is smartly denied much possibility for sympathy and any redemptive values. As a result, she's (again) a scarier monster than Dracula or Frankenstein or the Wolfman. DOUBLE DOOR's hook is undeniable: will her family escape her homicidal wrath and will Victoria receive her just comeuppance?

But the film has three small or equivocal issues. One is the titular DOUBLE DOOR, which figures prominently in the action but, at the very end, functions predictably and satisfyingly, though not quite as established. A second is subjective: the older I get, the less patience I have with films about BPD-suffering narcissists abusing their loved ones. ZELLY AND ME (which is, to be fair, a great movie) drove me up the wall as a teenager - but that's a film about a helpless little girl w/ no recourse against her grandmonster. All of the victims in DOUBLE DOOR are adults, and though the film provides rationale for why they might feel like they need to put up w/ Victoria, I don't feel like I need to be held hostage with them and by Victoria... I got real toxic people in my own life to be held hostage by!

That caveat segues into but also somewhat mitigates my final "issue" w/ DOUBLE DOOR. Plenty of reviews on Letterboxd claim that Mary Morris' performance as Victoria is the best or only reason to watch the film. Morris originated the role onstage, and the fact that this was her only screen appearance automatically made me curious to check out her performance. Once I had, I admit I understood Morris' short film career. She gives a rather unidimensional - even "flat", shall we say - performance. If one was to say Good Acting was about being Entertaining (which I'm only suggesting per diabolic advocacy), one could suggest that every other member of the cast is more Entertaining or watchable than Morris. But, alas, real sociopaths aren't "entertaining", like the Joker or Hannibal Lecter or Christian Bale as Patrick Bateman. The malignant narcissists that I know are boring people - boring like the character Patrick Bateman is in his real (rather than his fantasy) life - who have little sense of humor and no imagination besides a pervasive paranoia about how everyone else's behavior is negatively impacting them. They aren't "entertaining" - they're miserable to be around. (One might also cite the outspoken insult comic who occupies the Oval Office, whose antics somehow amused a sizeable number of easily entertained Americans for a decade, but whose plummeting poll numbers reflect a growing disinterest and boredom even on behalf of his fanbase.)

Mary Morris as Victoria is miserable to be around - though I stuck with DOUBLE DOOR to see her get what was coming to her. I suppose Morris deserves props for giving a highly realistic - boring, loathsome - performance!    3/5    Kent Taylor (who plays her brother) showed up in tons of cheaper, less-well-made (though more entertaining!) horror movies in the 50s and 60s.

[FatFreddysCat]

"Biohazard" (1985)
A military experiment gone wrong brings an inter-dimensional alien creature to Earth, which promptly goes on a killing spree. A studly government agent and a large-breasted psychic lady (one-time "Star Trek" siren Angelique Pettyjohn) must put a stop to it. Yes, that's the whole plot.
Another Z-grade sci-fi/horror flick from no-budget auteur Fred Olen Ray, full of his trademark cheap FX, plentiful gore, and a healthy amount of T&A. Watchable if you've got a few beers in you.
Fun fact: the actor in the alien suit is Ray's then-8-year-old son Chris!

[FatFreddysCat]

"Piranha II: The Spawning" (1982)
The staff and guests at an island resort hotel come under attack by hordes of hungry flying piranha (yes, really) - the result of a failed U.S. government gene-splicing experiment. Lots of screaming and munching ensues.
In spite of the absurd premise, this Italian-produced, in name only sequel to Joe Dante's 1978 cult classic delivers the gory goods.
"Spawning" is also notable for being the first directorial credit for future "Terminator" and "Titanic" mastermind James Cameron, though he claims that he was fired midway through filming and the finished product was edited together by the film's producer. Either way, it's proof of the old saying that everybody's gotta start someplace.

[FatFreddysCat]

"Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Shocking Truth" (2000)
A cool documentary looking back on the famously difficult production of Tobe Hooper's slasher classic, featuring interviews with most of the original cast & crew. Their stories are supplemented by loads of vintage clips and photos from the shoot, making this an enjoyable trip down memory lane for horror nerds.

[Trevor]

"Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Shocking Truth" (2000)
A cool documentary looking back on the famously difficult production of Tobe Hooper's slasher classic, featuring interviews with most of the original cast & crew. Their stories are supplemented by loads of vintage clips and photos from the shoot, making this an enjoyable trip down memory lane for horror nerds.

I wonder if they mention it was banned in South Africa?

[lester1/2jr]

Piranha and Piranha 2 have special place in my heart. There is something about that evil little fish that I just like.

[Dr. Whom]

"Spawning" is also notable for being the first directorial credit for future "Terminator" and "Titanic" mastermind James Cameron, though he claims that he was fired midway through filming and the finished product was edited together by the film's producer. Either way, it's proof of the old saying that everybody's gotta start someplace.

I once saw a clip where James Cameron was asked about this in a panel, and he answered with a completely straight face that he thought it was still one of the better movies about flying piranhas ever made.

[FatFreddysCat]

"Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Shocking Truth" (2000)
A cool documentary looking back on the famously difficult production of Tobe Hooper's slasher classic, featuring interviews with most of the original cast & crew. Their stories are supplemented by loads of vintage clips and photos from the shoot, making this an enjoyable trip down memory lane for horror nerds.

I wonder if they mention it was banned in South Africa?

They did mention that it was banned in "numerous countries" upon its release, but didn't mention any specifically except England.

James Cameron was asked about this in a panel, and he answered with a completely straight face that he thought it was still one of the better movies about flying piranhas ever made.

Well, he's not wrong! 😆 After all, it's not like there's much competition in that category. 

[Dr. Whom]

Ribbon Hero (2026)

This is an odd one.
It is based on a manga by Tezuka, and it is basically an episodic magical girl story: Monsters attack, girl transforms (somewhat sexily) in hero form, girl beats monsters, rinse and repeat. It also has the somewhat telescoped feel of storytelling that results of trying to compact a long running series in a single movie.

However, stylistically it is all over the place, with your standard series animation switching to more free flowing styles, and even some live action thrown in. The monsters are also CGI'd into the drawn animation, in a jarring way that was all the rage when CGI was new and exciting. It is cut up in a number of 'acts' complete with curtains like Wes Anderson would do.
I looked up the manga, hoping it would give some answers, but it turns out that, apart from some superficial elements, the movie is completely different. It does explicitly reference the manga, though. Lots of puzzling choices were made for what is essentially a pretty run of the mill story.

[M.10rda]

The Bride (2026)
It only took me a few minutes in before I realizes ... damn. It is not looking good. 

For some reason they do a big dance number to "Putting on the Ritz".
 
The detective that has been following them the whole time jumps out and shoots the Bride a bunch. Then other police show up and open fire on Frank and his Bride and the detective runs. 

THE BRIDE! (2026):
I can't dispute anything Jim says in his review, except:

It isn't Detective Peter Skarsgard who shoots the Bride - he already relinquished his badge in Niagara Falls to secretary Penelope Cruz - which even in whatever year this movie takes place in, a police detective can't do. But anyway, it's the Bride's mobster ex-boyfriend who follows her and shoots her.

Like Jim, I was a bit worried in the early scenes. As the world's biggest living Elsa Lanchester fan, I wasn't interested in some Jessie Buckley bird trying to put her own grubby mitts on the Mary/Bride dual role. Fortunately, THE BRIDE! isn't a remake. I don't know what it is but it isn't a remake.

And, I started to cringe at the "Puttin' On The Ritz" number - as my admiration of YOUNG FRANKENSTEIN is inversely proportionate to my admiration of Elsa Lanchester....... but Buckley and Christian Bale dance so damn well (spasmodically, monstrously) I was really swept away in the frenzy.

Like Rev. Powell, I love a good trainwreck (as opposed to a bad trainwreck). There were a couple other moments in the screenplay that made me roll my eyes or bite my lip, but Maggie Gyllenhaal's tongue is in her cheek more often than her heart is on her sleeve here, and her direction (as well as the acting) is strong enough to put the material over. I don't actually require my films to make complete sense!

Everybody is good here, though Buckley doing Natasha Lyonne 2/3rds of the time made me kind of just want Natasha Lyonne. Great to see Annette Bening and always a pleasure to see weirdo Zlatko Buric (in everything nowadays). Bale is awesome in the moment after he confronts Jake Gyllenhaal and a great dancer generally (lest we forget SWING KIDS and NEWSIES). Cruz steals the show, however, as "Myrna Malloy". 

3.5/5    Glad it exists.    The bizarre "Ygor"-like maid who looks like Angelica Huston after a brutal bender fortunately isn't Angelica Huston but instead (more bizarrely) Mike Nichols and Elaine May's daughter Jeanie Berlin. Gyllenhaal dedicates the film "to [her] daughters", one of whom has a cameo in the theater playing WHITE ZOMBIE. A Bela Lugosi cameo in a Frankenstein movie - hilarious! 

[lester1/2jr]

Zodiac (2007) - I somehow didn't know about this or that David Fincher directed it. The first thing you notice is the real lack of Hollywood glamour. It's like he was making it for A and E or even PBS. There's even Wikipedia ish scenes where they make sure the audience gets certain facts "Here it is Christmas 1970 and we just got the second Zodiac letter. It sure is a crazy world." etc.

The Zodiac killer is loose in early 70's California and cops are having a hard time figuring out who he is. He does the thing where he writes taunting letters to the newspaper and sends them weird codes to decipher, but always stays a step ahead, somehow. Robert Downey Jr, Jake Gyllenhaal, and Chloe Sevigny are among the cops/ newspaper people whose lives would come to be defined by the whole thing.

Again, it's basically a 2 (and a half) parter A and E season opener, but where it's all re enactment and no talking heads or voiceover. 

5/5 I'll be watching something a little more lively next, but I can't deny the formal integrity on display.