Main Menu

COVID-19 Humor

Started by The Burgomaster, March 09, 2020, 11:57:46 AM

Previous topic - Next topic

indianasmith

"I shall smite you in the nostrils with a rod of iron, and wax your spleen with Efferdent!!"

ER

What does not kill me makes me stranger.

RCMerchant

"Supernatural?...perhaps. Baloney?...Perhaps not!" Bela Lugosi-the BLACK CAT (1934)
Interviewer-"Does Dracula ever end for you?
Lugosi-"No. Dracula-never ends."

Slobber, Drool, Drip!
https://www.tumblr.com/ronmerchant


chefzombie

true story from this afternoon. my niece called,SCREAMING! after 30 seconds or so, i got her to calm down enough to tell me that one of the 8 children she is trapped with had locked the door to the ONLY bathroom in the house and then closed it. TOTAL PANIC!!!!
  i couldn't help it, i laid the phone down and seriously fell out laughing for a solid 60 seconds! then i told her how to take the doorknob apart, while still laughing hysterically. she may never speak to me again. but the bathroom's open! :bouncegiggle:
don't EVEN...EVER!

lester1/2jr


indianasmith

Breaking news: Finland has closed its border!

Now no one can cross the Finnish line.
"I shall smite you in the nostrils with a rod of iron, and wax your spleen with Efferdent!!"

sprite75



Hate to burst anyone's bubble but this is not me working from home.

I have a leather chair at home so my ass would be stuck to the chair after about 15 minutes if I did that. 
God of making the characteristic which becomes dirty sends the hurricane.

Alex

#38



Hmm, anyone know how I can resize this so its a bit smaller?
Your kisses turn princes into frogs and passion plays into monologues.

Alex

Your kisses turn princes into frogs and passion plays into monologues.

Rev. Powell

I'll take you places the hand of man has not yet set foot...

Trevor

If this Covid 19 nonsense isn't bad enough, we're soon going to have a water shortage here with all the people washing hands and other body parts over and over.  :smile:
We shall meet in the place where there is no darkness.

ER

I got to thinking my earlier joke was a little mean, so I changed it. How about this?



What's the difference between the coronavirus and a naked female breast?

Harvey Weinstein will have contact with one of these this year.
What does not kill me makes me stranger.

sprite75

Yeah I know satire.  But still, LOL

QuoteHealth Minister de Block announced today that, effective immediately, "non-essential" sexual activities of 3 people or more are banned in Belgium to combat the spread of COVID-19.

De Block said she was forced to act swiftly because of Belgium's reputation as being the "beer-drinking" and "group sex capital of Europe."

Health minister De Block did not ban single or two-person sexual practices such as masturbation, anal or oral sex, or even bestiality.

"These measures apply only to human-to-human sexual contact, not human-to-animal contact," she added when questioned about bestiality by reporters.

God of making the characteristic which becomes dirty sends the hurricane.

ER

Quote from: sprite75 on March 22, 2020, 08:11:12 PM
Yeah I know satire.  But still, LOL

QuoteHealth Minister de Block announced today that, effective immediately, "non-essential" sexual activities of 3 people or more are banned in Belgium to combat the spread of COVID-19.

De Block said she was forced to act swiftly because of Belgium's reputation as being the "beer-drinking" and "group sex capital of Europe."

Health minister De Block did not ban single or two-person sexual practices such as masturbation, anal or oral sex, or even bestiality.

"These measures apply only to human-to-human sexual contact, not human-to-animal contact," she added when questioned about bestiality by reporters.



(for real?)
What does not kill me makes me stranger.