Alex's even longer post thread.

[Alex]

The local summer festivals are starting to return post-covid. They have a week-long one called Seafest which started today. We went down for a walk around it, meeting up with Nikki down there. Wasn't much to see to be honest. Lots of food stalls and a bouncy castle that cost £5 for 5 minutes. That very much disgusted me. It was lightly raining, not enough to make us turn around and go home, but it didn't encourage us to hang around either.

The family are heading back home tomorrow. I'll be going to join them Monday after I do some work on base. As much as I love seeing my family I don't want to go over. I need to go and get the next stage of dealing with the will out of the way. With everything being so far away and dealing with demobbing from the RAF it has just taken months longer than it should have to get it all cleared. Still, if I can get this in and done then I think I only have one more major step to go through and finish dealing with it.

Decided to buy the latest version of a game I used to play years ago (Elite: First Encounter). It is huge though and is going to take a while to download. Maybe I should leave it running while I head off for a few days?

[Alex]

My last day as a soldier has finally arrived. When I wake up tomorrow I'll be a civilian.

a 22-year break from the 'real world'.

I've seen a lot of aircraft come (Typhoon, Lightning, P8's to name a few) and others go (Jaguar, Tornado, Canberra, Hercules, Sea King, Nimrod). Some of them I've even watched their final flights. I've been able to make some positive changes for good. I've found out things that no one in the regular civilian world will ever get to know, some of which is useless, some not but it has all been an interesting peak 'behind the curtain' on how things really work.

[ER]

^ Welcome to the jungle!

[Alex]

Travelling back home just now. The sky was a clear blue when I started, but dark, gray clouds have rolled in and rain is threatening. Kristi is planning on meeting me in Elgin. I was kinda hoping to have some time to walk through town and think about things, but oh well. The 6 hours on the train will just have to suffice. I just seem to think better thoughts while out walking though.

I should get to murder another player in tonight's D&D game. He wants to retire his character, so between me, him and Kristi we came up with a way to resurrect his dead character from one of my campaigns. I just need to sacrifice his current one to do it. Never thought I'd deliberately kill another PC, and here we are my third one is just one game.

There is a couple sitting across the aisle from me. On the one hand, I am against spousal abuse, but on the other hand, if the guy were to snap, get out of his seat and strangle her I think I'd have to give him a round of applause. She has whined about everything and got him to do everything possible for her. "Thomas get them to have more light on the train, why is it so dark (because the driver or conductor hasn't put the lights yet. They will before the train starts. If it is too dark inside for you, simply wait outside until they put the lights on), Thomas can you just go down to the end of the corridor and see if there is a toilet down the end of the carriage, "Thomas can you just open this packet of crisps for me, Thomas do you think it will rain outside, Thomas, you look tired go for a sleep, Thomas put your armrest down, Thomas..."

I am starting to suspect the guy's name is Thomas. I am assuming this is his wife and I hate to imagine the home life he has. I really couldn't put up with that for long. After he'd opened her crisps for her, she took 3 chips out of the bag, put them on the table and told him that was his share while she ate the rest.

Looking forward to getting home to the family. I left my mums house early just because I wanted to get my journey started, although not without regret. I am painfully aware that my mum is 75, and has had two very close brushes with death. Every time I see her I know that it might be the last time and that is not a happy thought. I think when it does happen, that will be my final visit to the village where I grew up. I never cared for it as a boy or man and when she is no longer there, I will have no reason to ever return, save perhaps some long off nostalgic trip back in 20 years or so. Hell, after I left Kilmarnock I was thinking "Well, that should be the last time I ever have to visit this s**thole." There are a few places in Scotland I don't recommend for visitors, Kilmarnock is most definitely one of those, along with the towns that stretch between Greenock to Paisley along the banks of the Clyde. Almost 40 years ago it was decided to clean up Glasgow. Unfortunately what that mostly meant is that the criminals simply moved slightly westward along the riverbank. The murder rate in Paisley shot up something like 300% in one year. Still (based on a quick google), the city still has a 5.1 per 100,000 murder rate against a 1.1 across the rest of the country. If you are looking for a comparison the US has 6.8 (same as Russia), and poor Trevor has to put up with 33.5 per 100,000 in South Africa (not the highest in the world and not high enough for you to need to fear going out the front door, but stay safe brother Trevor).

"Thomas, stop the terrible vibration in the train, Thomas zip your jacket up."

I am not going to make any Thomas the Tank Engine jokes.

[Alex]

Life is in a bit of limbo right now. I've not heard back from the housing people which in theory means we should have been evicted 4 days ago. I've not heard from the council on paying council tax either. I do have an interview for my new job next week, so it could just be that everyone is waiting on that happening and haven't progressed anything. Then again, I do have a habit of slipping between the cracks when it comes to bureaucracy and it wouldn't be the first time I've just gone unnoticed. It is amazingly easy to do this. Not as much living off grid (although I've done that too), as just hiding in plain sight, not even doing anything against the law and just letting the weaknesses in the system go on without any interference.

Whoever said death and taxes were inevitable really wasn't as clever as he thought and should have got himself a good accountant. At least one of those two is very avoidable. Generally though it does seem like the more money you have the more you can avoid having to fork over. I could have went my entire life without paying any. Of course, there would have been a pay-off. I'd have needed to work until the day I drop. I doubt I'd have ever been able to get married or have a family. Then again for most of my life that just wasn't a priority.

Strange though that now I have both it is all-consuming. What is it about families that can change us so much? We really are driven by our biology more than most people realise. What we think is a well-thought-out and reasoned choice is just something driven by a bunch of impulses we are barely aware exists (I am not talking about the impulse to breed, most people more or less understand that one). Just bags of meat driven by electrical signals who assume we must be more important than just this.

How terrifying it would be to really face just what we mean in the universe. This infinitely sized thing that somehow we as a species have come to believe we must be, even though we've only been around for a tiny amount of time and take up such a small space in it that we'd barely even register as the smallest percentage of existence.

It is a massive universe, filled with miracles and wonders every place one cares to look and somehow we've come to believe there is any possible way we could be the most important miracle of all. Such arrogance.

[Alex]

I have suggested to one of our friends that whatever problem he is trying to tell us about, that he thinks very carefully about if it is something he really wants to say or not. I just have the funny feeling that he has a thing for Kristi in which case he want's to keep that buried deep down. I am just feeling burned out and done with listening to people's minor problems right now. If he has some big health problem, then fine. I'll listen to him. I am not even interested if I've done something to offend him.

Selfish? f**k yeah, but that is how I am feeling right now.

Hmm, lunchtime. I should feed the little guy. I won't be able to call him that for long. A couple of years he'll be taller than me (ok, granted no great feat there). Like so much in life, growing tall seemed to take more effort than I was willing to put into it for what you get out of it.

I wonder what Lenin would have thought of how the Soviet Union went after his death and how he'd have viewed each of his successors. I know he was not a fan of Stalin. I wonder what Marx would have made of the countries that claimed to be communist. Not many of them made any serious attempts at achieving the communist ideal state.

[Alex]

Popped into camp for some more leaving signatures. I had planned on doing them over the past few weeks, but other stuff came up that was more important. I'll finish it up tomorrow. The important stuff is all done.

Got home just in time to avoid a thunderstorm which cooled down what was otherwise set to be a very hot day. I was thinking back to a couple of my teachers from school. A Mr. Barr and Mr. Neil. Both of them were clearly only there because of the power they had over students rather than any desire to teach. I guess both of them must be retired by now. I wonder how it felt to them not to have what ephemeral control they had over the lives of others taken away? I remember Neil sitting giving one boy in the class verbal abuse and then as soon as the boy answered back, getting given lines or detention. He pulled that trick on the one kid a few times. Mind you, the guy was an a***ole and I am fairly sure was destined for a life of petty crime. Still, I wonder if he'd taken an interest in the boy's education and tried to help him if he couldn't have made things better and helped set him on a different path, rather than just picking on him.

[Alex]

So I had my first job interview since leaving the service today.

It went pretty well. They offered me a job starting whenever I want, at any location I want and they are fast-tracking my application. Can't really say better than that.

Who is it with? Well, I've joined the army more or less (stacked in the direction of less than more it has to be said). It isn't the reserves I've joined, it is the people who guard all the sensitive sites around the UK, nuclear power stations, military bases and so forth. It is an actual army regiment that does it, but they don't deploy overseas and they can't send me to other places to work (well not for more than short periods, it is a maximum of 30 days per year I can be sent away and even then it is still within the UK, unless I volunteer for more). I'll use a gun more than I did previously, but to me that is more of a drawback than a bonus. When it comes to guns I agree with the woman who commented on a picture of a guy sleeping with his rifles that: "As a lesbian, I fully understand this. I too use inanimate objects to make up for my lack of having a penis." They are a tool to get a very specific job done and nothing more. Even worse though is those guys who actually name their weapons. I've always wondered if those sorts of people have little tea parties with their guns too.

Anyway, I am wandering.

I'll fill in some paperwork, put on the date I want to start and off I go. I am thinking I'll work at it for between 5 to 8 years, although I could do up to age 60.

Me at my son's age would be delighted. Being in the army was the first job I can remember wanting.

[Trevor]

Still (based on a quick google), the city still has a 5.1 per 100,000 murder rate against a 1.1 across the rest of the country. If you are looking for a comparison the US has 6.8 (same as Russia), and poor Trevor has to put up with 33.5 per 100,000 in South Africa (not the highest in the world and not high enough for you to need to fear going out the front door, but stay safe brother Trevor).

 

Thanks: I never walk anywhere without carrying a knife - never had to use it, thankfully - and I always carry a cricket bat with me in the car. That I have used several times.

[chefzombie]

So I had my first job interview since leaving the service today.

It went pretty well. They offered me a job starting whenever I want, at any location I want and they are fast-tracking my application. Can't really say better than that.

Who is it with? Well, I've joined the army more or less (stacked in the direction of less than more it has to be said). It isn't the reserves I've joined, it is the people who guard all the sensitive sites around the UK, nuclear power stations, military bases and so forth. It is an actual army regiment that does it, but they don't deploy overseas and they can't send me to other places to work (well not for more than short periods, it is a maximum of 30 days per year I can be sent away and even then it is still within the UK, unless I volunteer for more). I'll use a gun more than I did previously, but to me that is more of a drawback than a bonus. When it comes to guns I agree with the woman who commented on a picture of a guy sleeping with his rifles that: "As a lesbian, I fully understand this. I too use inanimate objects to make up for my lack of having a penis." They are a tool to get a very specific job done and nothing more. Even worse though is those guys who actually name their weapons. I've always wondered if those sorts of people have little tea parties with their guns too.

Anyway, I am wandering.

I'll fill in some paperwork, put on the date I want to start and off I go. I am thinking I'll work at it for between 5 to 8 years, although I could do up to age 60.

Me at my son's age would be delighted. Being in the army was the first job I can remember wanting.

little brother, your son will be delighted with staying in his town and his home, with his swings. and so will you and the empress of lossie!

[Alex]

I was switching over some DVDs for Ash today. Managed to ding my elbow off the metal edge of the radiator. As I sat exclaiming in pain and forcing myself not to swear, Ash decided to come over and punch the radiator.

I guess he is taking after my younger brother there. When we were growing up if Stewart went to throw a punch at me, he'd a bad habit of managing to hit my knee cap, or some bony area and hurting himself a lot more than he ever hurt me.

I guess my interviewer wasn't kidding when he said I'd be fast-tracked. My formal offer of employment arrived today. I feel more nervous about accepting it than I ever did about leaving and I have no idea why.

[chefzombie]

honey, if you're that nervous, could you take a few days to think about it a little more? i think maybe we're both thinking that it's so cool that there has to be a catch. find it, or find that it's just both of us being rather cynical.

[Alex]

honey, if you're that nervous, could you take a few days to think about it a little more? i think maybe we're both thinking that it's so cool that there has to be a catch. find it, or find that it's just both of us being rather cynical.

Lol, it is the military there is always a catch. If someone asks for a volunteer to make love to a hareem of beautiful women you learn to say no, because there is a catch.  :bouncegiggle:I am not incredibly nervous about it. It's not causing me to lose sleep or anything. I only have 3 days to sign and return the paperwork, so that will be getting done tonight.

[Alex]

Made this post on social media earlier. It is something that has been on my mind for several years, but because of my job I couldn't publically say. I appreciate most of the people on this forum are in the US rather than the UK, but I know your military has its own problems, despite its budget.


When the cold war came, we were there ready if the worst ever happened.

They cut our numbers to make it look like we'd give up without a fight, but when the Falklands was invaded we went an won a war that was said to be unwinable.

When the cold war was over they said thanks, but your job is no longer needed and cut our numbers even when we were being shot at in Bosnia.

They sent us to Iraq (twice). They said thanks and cut our numbers.

They sent us to Afghanistan, pulled us out with a job half done and made a mockery of the sacrifices that had been made. They told us it was their fault, not ours but they cut our numbers.

They've given us fine speeches in the halls of power, but not given us a pay raise for over 15 years, while their own pay has went up.

We have been there when livestock were diseased and needed disposing of, when firemen and health professionals went on strike, we were there to step into the gap and do their job as best we could. When they couldn't organise the Olympic games, soldiers returning from conflict were told they'd have to wait to see their families a bit longer and we stepped in to fill the gap. When the world was gripped by a pandemic they called on us to fill the gap and we did so. When somewhere floods, a dam is ready to collapse or 100s of other situations we are there when called on.

And still, they cut our numbers.

One day they are going to call on us to do something and there is going to be no one left to answer. Are they going to answer instead and do our job instead?

Stop voting for people who keep cutting the military, or falsely inflating the budget by adding things that aren't really defence or one day you will find we aren't there anymore and it will be when you most need us.

[Alex]

Over the years I've had to google for some pretty random information all in the name of my RPG adventures. Getting the sounds of goats is pretty mundane compared to most. Maybe I should have asked Indy to send me a recording of his?

Getting ready to do a game of Shadowrun, which is a sci-fi game. Specifically, it is cyberpunk, but it is a cyberpunk world where dragons roam, elves, orcs and so forth share the world with humans. Thinking about trying to record the sessions. Going to start the games on Sunday. Felt really tired at by 20:00 after not sleeping last night and had a nap. Didn't wake up until after 22:00 though so it may be a while before I feel like sleeping tonight.