COVID-19 Humor

[Alex]

Remember in the run up to the last US presidential election, trump said you'd win so much you'd get fed up of it?

Well, you are winning in the number of Covid-19 cases and are people fed up of it yet? Never thought that was what he was talking about.

[chefzombie]

fed up isn't the phrase i'd use. i don't think the words have been invented yet for how i feel about the situation here.

[Alex]

I love how offended snowflakes get about being asked to wear a mask.

[chefzombie]

and these are the same people that were all for trump using the army to take over cities run by democrats.

[RCMerchant]

I wonder if folks who refuse to where masks question why if they are getting surgery, the guy about to poke around in your body is wearing a mask?  
Maybe he should just show up in blue jeans and a tee-shirt with a Confederate flag on it and dig in.

[chefzombie]

and dirty hands.

[Alex]

[Alex]

The funniest jokes of 2020 have apparently been selected. The list features quite a lot of Covid stuff (please note though, a lot of these are very UK-centric).

1. What is Dominic Cummings' favourite Christmas song? Driving Home for Christmas.

2. Did you hear that production was down at Santa's workshop? Many of his workers have had to elf isolate.

3. Why didn't Mary and Joseph make it to Bethlehem? All Virgin flights were cancelled.

4. Why are Santa's reindeer allowed to travel on Christmas Eve? They have herd immunity.

5. Why did the pirates have to go into lockdown? Because the "Arrrr!" rate had risen.

6. Why is it best to think of 2020 like a panto? Because eventually, it's behind you.

7. Why couldn't Mary and Joseph join their work conference call? Because there was no Zoom at the inn.

8. Why can't Boris Johnson make his Christmas cake until the last minute? He doesn't know how many tiers it should have.

9. What do the Trumps do for Christmas dinner? They put on a super spread.

10. Which Christmas film was 30 years ahead of its time? Home Alone.

11. How do you play Dominic Cummings Monopoly? Ignore the rules, move anywhere on the board you like, and never Go To Jail.

12. Why won't Santa lose any presents this year? He's downloaded Sack and Trace.

13. How is the pandemic like my stomach after Christmas? It'll take ages to flatten the curve.

14. How is Prince Andrew coping with the stresses of Christmas this year? Fine. No sweat.

15. Why wasn't Rudolph allowed to take part in vaccine trials? Because they only wanted guinea pigs.

16. Which Government scheme supports Christmas dinner? Eat Sprout To Help Out.

17. How can you get out of talking to your boss at this year's staff Christmas party? Put him on mute.

18. How does Santa keep track of all the fireplaces he's visited? He keeps a logbook.

19. Who dresses in red and gives to the children this Christmas? Marcus Rashford.

20. Why did Mary and Joseph have to travel to Bethlehem? Because they couldn't book a home delivery.

[pacman000]

https://xkcd.com/2396/

[El Misfit]