Random Thought Thread Part III: The Thinking

[RCMerchant]

^ Merry Christmas? Are you a Christian?

If so, it's only in name.
That's immoral, dishonest, and disgusting.

[ER]

Immoral, dishonest and disgusting describes the job well. What is a little funny is....falling back on a feigned impediment scandalizes you? Oh, trust me, that....that barely moves the needle in the list of things done for those employers either as an instructor or earlier in my career.

[RCMerchant]

 ^ Your such an angel of hope and wisdom.  

[ER]

Ha! Thanks, mate, I love you too. 

[ER]

Hey, just to be clear because sometimes print comes off too strong, I'm not mad at you, RC, or Claws or anybody, just kinda bouncing along with it. Hope everyone has a pleasant Christmas Eve or at least a good December 24th.

[Alex]

Faking a mild speech impediment is a good way to cover up a foreign accent if you're imperfectly speaking a language that is not your native tongue.

I used to get paid to tell people tips like that.

No offense but that is terrible advice. It is insulting to people with real speech impediments and insulting to foreigners.

Actually we are given the same advice if we are stuck behind enemy lines. If it makes the difference between getting home alive or not, I don't care who it insults.

When Kabul fell, a British student was caught by the Taliban. When they asked him where he was from, he replied Wales. Since his captors had never heard of Wales, they let him go. These simple deceits are surprisingly effective. If you ever find yourself in a similar situation, you might want to remember tips like that. I promise you, you won't care who it offends either if it makes the difference between getting home and some guy cutting your head off and posting the footage on the web.

[ER]

Duh, turns out we been doing Boxing Day wrong all these years, but I will NOT miss those black eyes!

[ER]

Years after I first let some girl talk me into trying it in kindergarten, there's still something satisfying about occasionally taking a tiny nibble off the eraser of a number two pencil. Texture, not taste.

[ER]

I got these soft silicone nasal inserts for Christmas that slide into the nose and widen the nostrils to increase oxygen intake during a workout, which they do, but I used them once this morning when I was on the treadmill and my nose hasn't stopped running since.

I....only just realized that reads like the setup to a joke (my nose is still running) but, no, it hasn't for real.

[ER]

Warm enough outside here this morning to play tennis before breakfast, as my inner fifteen-year-old urged me to do. If this is global warming, it's a shame it's going to flood low-lying coastal areas and displace millions in the biggest refugee crisis in history, but, hey, on the plus-side, I repeat: outside tennis in December?

[ER]

It feels like Sunday.

[ER]

Lately I been asking people if they think Bambi ended up mounted on some hunter's wall. A few people have said Bambi wasn't real and his story had no existence beyond the movie's run time (and those people suck walrus tusks); and a few have cited the statistics on how few deer make it to die of old age; but mostly the view is Bambi lived happily ever after, and that's the answer I like.

[Alex]

I am convinced that the woodland critters featured in South Park are actually the offspring of Bambi, Thumper and so forth.

[Alex]

If you put out poisoned brandy and cookies, would that kill Santa and mean you get to keep ALL the presents?

[ER]

Drove up  the road a bit ago and listened to an old Rick Steves' radio show episode, and this woman called in to share her experiences traveling in Kenya, and she referred to the Maasai she met there as "African Americans." Gosh....