My Oscar Speech

[ER]

"Thanks."

[claws]

[Trevor]

I remember seeing Sacheen Littlefeather walk up to the stage, Sir Roger Moore handed her Marlon Brando's Oscar, she showed Sir Roger Moore the hand and he went "Ooops". 

[ER]

I was just thinking not only would I spare the audience---the show does still have an audience, right?---another long-winded blab-fest about thanking agents and emoting on my favorite cause, recognizing intersexed cetaceans endangered by tuna boats, but I'd be talked about the next day, and also no one could ever break my record for shorter Oscars speech, only tie it.

Dang, it almost makes me want to go win one now. Not like it'd be as hard as a straight person winning a TONY.