RECENT VIEWINGS (Bad Movie Thread!)

[zombie no.one]

FINAL DESTINATION 5 (2011)

pretty much the only enduring horror franchise born in the 2000s that I can get down with... seen 'em all about 3 or 4 times. just trashy popcorn throwaway stuff but somehow watchable to me. they know what they are, and aim mid-height  ... the gymnastics scene in this one still gets an 'uurgh'.


didn't like the recent reboot though.

[M.10rda]

I forget if you posted about it a year and a half ago... what didn't you like about BLOODLINES? Basically another sequel, not a reboot, final appearance of Tony Todd et al.

[zombie no.one]

I felt like it was trying way too hard to ram home the fact that it's a Final Destination movie, while ironically seeming more like any other random 2020's teeny horror... plus an overload of crash-bang-wallop chaos as it went on. just didn't tickle me

[M.10rda]

I liked the "crash-bang-wallop chaos" myself. It was a little mean-spirited but then they all are. I will be posting a retort to your RESIDENT EVIL review in the other section... 

[Trevor]

I saw COYOTE VS ACME last Friday and was hoping that it would break my crippling depression.

It didn't, sadly 😢

[M.10rda]

I'm sorry you are depressed, Trevor. Don't watch this next one - it won't help!

EYES OF THE MUMMY (1918):
This is, somehow, an early film from Ernst Lubitsch, a highly regarded director who later made the very good TROUBLE IN PARADISE. It's amazing he kept working after this one. To quote another fat film reviewer - It stinks!

A British guy visits Egypt to find mummies. He enters a pyramid (the entrance to which is sitting wide open) and finds no mummies but does find Emil Jannings and Pola Negri, supposedly playing indigent Egyptians. The white guy steals away w/ Negri and Jannings follows, looking for revenge. (Spoiler Warning: He gets it.  )

Okay, Negri and Jannings are supposed to be Egyptian, but the Polish (maybe Romani) Negri's character is named "Ma" and the white guy fetishizes her like she's Chinese (including ordering her to dance to "Oriental music"); and German Jannings wears insane brownface and a fright wig to play "Radu", which is a Romani/an name, not an Egyptian one. Also his character is a complete psycho but I guess we're also supposed to feel a little bad for him? This poor cultural representation would be distasteful even in a great silent movie, and EYES OF THE MUMMY is dull as hell.

Negri does play with a little kitty cat in one scene.    1/5    No, there is no mummy in this movie!

[chainsaw midget]

I watched Love at first Bite and Once Bitten.  They came together in a Blue-ray two pack.

Love at first bite is a funny little romantic comedy with George Hamilton as Dracula.  He's not in my top ten list of actors who have played Drac, but he does the role all the justice it needs here. 



Once bitten is one of Jim Carrey's earliest movies.  He was the "relatable teen romantic lead" and there were time he was a bit ... well... too Jim Carrey for the role, but it was all in all a fun movie.  I loved the dance-off and the vampire's gay servant was a really fun character. 

All in all- both a good recommendation, neither GREAT, but if you're in for some romantic vampire comedies, you could do worse. 

[zombie no.one]

SPIDERS (2000)

I guess by 2000 all other names for spider movies had been completely exhausted

anything with Boaz Davidson's name attatched can usually be relied on to provide at least some kind of wacky entertainment, and this just about complies

typical kind of trash sci fi no budget 'fun'.

 set up... assertive mildly foxy tomboy-ish heroine + a couple of wisedumb-cracking tech dorks go on some mission and find... spiders. mutant spiders. everywhere!

special fx: 7.5/10, surprisingly good for the most part. two howling CGI fails - in one, a guy gets wrapped in a web that is clearly not real and looks like it was done in Microsoft Paint in 30 seconds... the stupid thing is they could've easily done this effect using a 'real' web?  but the rest is more than passable for this kind of thing.


6/10