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Descriptions of Bad Movies that don't exist

Started by lester1/2jr, February 05, 2024, 05:18:31 PM

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indianasmith

This movie was the product of a barroom bet between Ed Wood and the Polonia brothers as to who could make a worse film . . .
"I shall smite you in the nostrils with a rod of iron, and wax your spleen with Efferdent!!"

zombie no.one

"A fairly enjoyable horror, although some may feel there is too much focus on the killer's addiction to Uncle Ben's Boil-In-The-Bag Rice."
Quotethe movie was cringe, corny, cheesy and "what the biscuits" is with this atrocious acting and childish corny thing of a movie???

LilCerberus

For a horror/thriller, the most intense scene involves a skunk.
"Science Fiction & Nostalgia have become the same thing!" - T Bone Burnett
The world runs off money, even for those with a warped sense of what the world is.

ER

Taylor Swift, as the woman of a thousand faces.....
What does not kill me makes me stranger.

lester1/2jr

made for tv movie circa 1979 about PCP starring Ron Palillo and Jaclyn Smith as his concerned guidance counselor. Only aired once and since then very hard to find 5/5

Dr. Whom

"Once you get past a certain threshold, everyone's problems are the same: fortifying your island and hiding the heat signature from your fusion reactor."

Wenn ist das Nunstück git und Slotermeyer? Ja! ... Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput.

ER

In a 1990 made-for-TV movie, Pamela Anderson goes for a checkup at Dr. Cliff Huxtable's office, then wakes up after experiencing lost time. Nine months later she gives birth to a half-black baby who loves Jello pudding.
What does not kill me makes me stranger.

Alex

I understood everything, save for perhaps the obsession with fish butts.
Hail to thyself
For I am my own master
I am my own god
I require no shepherd
For I am no sheep.

lester1/2jr

QuoteThis is basically Jaws, but with penguins.

I'm actually surprised they haven't done that.

chainsaw midget

If you're looking for a good old fashioned nature-gone-amuck killer animal in the woods movie ... go watch something else.  The "evil bear" is shown far less than the lead characters country music singing (and frankly is far less  horrific.)

ER

The last Shaker inherits the sect's property and builds a casino. The mob moves in and mayhem ensues, in Martin Scorsese's mercifully final film, noteworthy for De Niro's  performance while playing a hitman who uses a walker to get around.
What does not kill me makes me stranger.

M.10rda

Quote from: ER on February 13, 2024, 09:27:10 AM
The last Shaker inherits the sect's property and builds a casino. The mob moves in and mayhem ensues, in Martin Scorsese's mercifully final film, noteworthy for De Niro's  performance while playing a hitman who uses a walker to get around.

It picks up directly where THE IRISHMAN left off?

M.10rda

Okay, I'll try one:

...Only filmgoers with the most sturdy constitutions are advised to brave the extended fantasy sequence in which Laurence R. Harvey (THE HUMAN CENTIPEDE 2) lovingly shaves and tongue-bathes Troma's favorite fatman Joe Fleishaker...

indianasmith

HIPPOS OF THE CORN features the most perfect conjunction of country western music, Mongolian folk dancing, and dwarf dismemberment ever recorded on film!
"I shall smite you in the nostrils with a rod of iron, and wax your spleen with Efferdent!!"

Dr. Whom

A bold attempt at turning the Voynich Manuscript into a movie.
"Once you get past a certain threshold, everyone's problems are the same: fortifying your island and hiding the heat signature from your fusion reactor."

Wenn ist das Nunstück git und Slotermeyer? Ja! ... Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput.