House of 1000 Corpses: My review, it wasn't worth the wait.

[Brent "Downhome" Lumkin]

Opening at selected cities, April 11th, 2003![/u]

Click here for the trailer!

I didn't expect much of anything from this film, and I might as well say that right off the bat. The majority of the performers in this film are obscure, unknown actors which have rarely been in any films of true note, it's directed and written by a man who has never directed a film before (Rob Zombie if you are not aware), and quite frankly, this film has been thorugh the wringer way too much, and it's painfully obvious. The most well known actor in this film would be cult star Sid Haig, but unfortuently his role in this film is nowhere as large as I had been led to believe leading up to this film. Simply put, this guy is the high point of "1000", as he totally captures each scene he is in. If you aren't aware of who I'm talking about, he plays Capt. Spaulding, as seen here...



...the film begins on a hell of note. We start off with a great scene in Capt. Spaulding’s Museum of Monsters and Madmen, which leads us into the musical opening for the credits. I'm no fan of Rob Zombie, but I do admit that his music goes along perfectly in a film of this sort. So along with his music, the demented images in this opening, it really set a great tone for the rest of the film. Well, I should say it set a great tone for the rest of the film, which only lasted for a few minutes. It quickly broke down, and all direction seemed to be lost.

Everyone knows the plot of this film I assume. It's about a group of kids who are driving along, they run out of gas and are forced to stop at the odd, old looking gas station where they meet odd characters, which then lead them to a scarry and broken down house in the middle of nowhere, where all sorts of horror and murder begins to take place. Now call me crazy, I've been called that before, but does that not sound just like a plot seen before in a movie just of this sort? It's so f**king obvious that Rob Zombie wanted so bad for this one to be Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2000, but he fails to reach that goal.

The rest of this film is a horrible mixture of very bad acting, virtually no storyline or plot, no explanation for anything that is going on really, horrible editing, and an attempt at "cool shots" and the such, which only comes across as headache inducing. The film just seems to be one huge mess of various scenes trying to disturb the viewer, nothing really fits together in any way at all. Out of all of the camera angles, effects, and everything of that sort that we see throughout this film, there is only ONE which I feel is in any way truly original, cool, and horrifying. The shot is a closeup of the right part of someones face, and over their shoulder, we see "somone" following them as they are at a dead end trying to figure out what to do now. The shot holds there for a few moments, as the figure in the background over their shoulder moves closer and closer, and then they slowly turn their head to look over their shoulder, and the other half of their face appears as they do so, as they see the figure behind them. This is one of my favorite angles/shots that I have seen in years. There is nothing fancy about it, there are no special effects involved. As a matter of fact, it's the type of shot that any one of us could go out and shoot right now, but that's the thing. It's simple, and in this film it proves that less, is indeed more.

That is my favorite part of the entire film besides the very begining before the opening credits/song. The rest of the film is simply "just there", with really no positives that I can think of. The only real positive I suppose that I CAN name besides what I've said before, is that of the character Baby, played by newcomer Sheri Moon, this is her debut acting role. As from the "1000" web site, "Rob Zombie fans will recognize her from her numerous rock video appearances including such favorites as Dragula, Living Dead Girl and More Human Than Human.", so you may have seen her before if you've seen his videos. She is hot, beautiful, and has a great voice. I can't say much about her acting though, it pretty much just ran into the wall like most everyone else in this film. If you are currious, here is the best picture I have for you of her...



...also, the ending of this film comes out of nowhere. I like the ending of this film, but it just comes out of nowhere. I can't really explain it so as to not spoil it, but just be ready for a very abrupt ending, lol. Also, do not look for tons of gore and graphic death scenes in this film, because you will NOT find them here. This film is all about being emotionally disturbing by using quick jumps, setting, and the overall mood...

...it's just too bad that The Texas Chainsaw Massacre did the very same thing years before, and did it much better.

I don't really want to score this one, as I'm not all that sure as to what to score it on. In terms of a stand alone film in terms of acting, structure, etc... I'd give it 4/10, but as a horror film I'd give it around a 6/10. So average them together and you get a 5/10. If you like chessy, very bad made horror then check it out. If you are someone who loves your movies to really pull together in terms of structure, acting, directing, and all of this then just stay away from it, as you will not really find all that much to see here. I do suggest it though to you guys who love mindless horror, you MIGHT find something to enjoy here. I'll hold onto the hope that the sequel will be much more improved over this one, because it will truly need it. After waiting years for this film to finally finish up filming, and to be released, I am now forced to say that it was NOT, worth the long wait.

Sincerely,
...Brent "Downhome" Lumkin...

[Ash]

Two questions....

How did you manage to view this film before it's theatrical release and where did you view it??

[Brent]

I found a pre-screener to watch in order to do a preview of the film for the people that I submit reviews to. No worries however, as I always still go to view a film of which I watched a screener or the such, it's just to get a jump on things for me.

[Steven Millan]

                        Other than Sig Haig(the bald co-star of Pam Grier's 70s blaxploitation films),Karen Black(Mother Firefly)is the main name actress here,since she's a prominent 70s name actress,and the other name actors are Bill Moseley(Otis[who was Chop-Top in "Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2"]),Michael J. Pollard("American Gothic"),Irwin Keyes(Tiny["The Privates Eyes"]),Chris Hardwick(Jerry the doomed stoner[the host of both "Singled Out" and "Shipmates"]),and Tom Towles("Henry:Portrait Of A Serial Killer","Night Of The Living Dead" remake).
                       Yes,this movie does have some name actors,even if they're B movie characters names who are always destined for straight-to-video movies.

[Brent]

Yes, that is 100% true, which is why I said they had never been in anything that was truly of note, instead of nothing at all, lol. To the casual viewer, when it all comes down to it, they really will not know any of these guys. Besides that point, EVERYONE in this film does a horrible job, although it could be attributed for a few of them by not having much to work with, except Sid Haig.

I hope Sid Haig has a larger role in the sequel, that's who I want to see.

[DARKWOLF]

Karen Black been alot of stuff since the 70/s. she was in movies in the 80's and 90's and now. Right now Showtime or was it The Movie Channel showing Crimetime with her and Steven Baldwin, Sadie Frost, and Pete Postlethwaite. A good creepy movie.

[Drezzy]

So, Downhome, you finally decided to post, eh?

<---Lazarus of TSM

[Brother Ragnarok]

This has nothing to do with HO1000C, but it rules that you have a Shadows Fall lyric as your quote.  Going to see them for the third time with Cephalic Carnage on the 27th.

Brother R

[Chadzilla]

Sounds like I'll skip it and wait til it hits video.  When no one wants to distribute your movie, that is a bad sign.

Be warned, Zombie plans to make more movies.

[Brent]

Yes, I know that Karen Black has been in things some will no her from, but as I said, nothing truly of note that casual filmgoers will know her from, that's all. Also like I said before, it still doesn't excuse her, and most everyone else, having a horrible acting outing.

[DARKWOLF]

Man your out of it check out IMDb there movies that everybody know her from some good and some really bad.

[Brent]

Are you not seeing my point? I just mean that to the casual viewer it doesn't even matter, no one will go and see it for her, many casual viewers do not even know who she is.

The point, is that this is b-movie mania, lol.

[Chadzilla]

Brent wrote:
>
> Yes, I know that Karen Black has been in things some will no
> her from, but as I said, nothing truly of note that casual
> filmgoers will know her from, that's all. Also like I said
> before, it still doesn't excuse her, and most everyone else,
> having a horrible acting outing.

So Five Easy Pieces, Nashville and Easy Rider (among other cult and critical cinema classics) do not fit your bill of something truly of note?  If casual filmgoers can't be bothered to notice the work (however poorly directed they may be) of easily recognizable character actors, then they are nothing but brainless monkeys not worthing describing movies too.  You are really underestimating the intelligence of the film attender.  Sir.

[Brent]

Yeah, pretty much, they may be of note in terms of cult status and to more hardcore film lovers, but to the casual viewer she isn't really remembered for anything really other than "that wicked looking chick", and that's that.

Would anyone like to talk about the movie, or shall this continue?

:-)

[Chadzilla]

Brent wrote:
>
> Would anyone like to talk about the movie, or shall this
> continue?
>
> :-)

Not me, looks like a piece of sh*t movie.  Rob Zombie remade TCM under a different title.