The Zombie Chronicles - 3-D

[The Burgomaster]

This is the 2nd of 3 movies that I purchased in a special 3-D boxed set. (The first one I mentioned on this message board was CAMP BLOOD).

As is the case with CAMP BLOOD, this movie is terrible. In addition to being amateurish and boring, the 3-D effects are often blurry. (At least CAMP BLOOD had a pretty clear picture to look at).

This is one of those movies where a strange drifter tells stories, and we see flashbacks showing zombies in cheap make-up ripping peoples' heads off and so forth. One of the female characters has her eyes ripped out and they are left dangling beside her cheeks.

The movie is shot on video, mostly in a forest (which looks suspiciously like the same forest where CAMP BLOOD was made).

The acting ranges from terrible to dreadful.

Stay away!

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[Andrew Crow]

Yep. Brain Dead films. Stay far, far, far away from anything they produce.

[Nathan Shumate]

I didn't think Zombie Chronicles was as bad as all that -- it certainly ain't art, but as far as no-budget shot-on-video fare goes, it was fair fare.  (Of course, I saw it in boring old 2D, which means I wasn't squinting at it through a focus-induced migraine.)

[Joe the Destroyer]

I recently purchased this for a mere $2, and I still feel a little cheated.  Good god, this has to be the worst zombie film I've ever seen, and I've seen Children of the Living Dead.

Bad acting I can tolerate.  In most cases, it's bad film acting, but good stage acting.  This is because stage actors are easy to hire and cheap.  Case in point: Tiki, which was filmed here in Spokane.  I've actually met a few of the actors and seen them perform on stage, and they're marvelous there.

This film, however, has actual bad acting and poorly written characters.  Sure, you're not supposed to take this film too seriously, but even keeping that in mind the film still hurts to watch. 

My biggest problem was that the two stories that the film told had very little of anything in them.  They seemed like haphazardly slapped together ideas with half-baked characters.  There were quite a few times where the characters didn't seem right, like they were out of character for a few lines. 

Of course, you're going to say that the big attraction to the film was supposed to be the gore.  Well, they show all the film's gore within the opening credits, so what's the use to sitting through the whole film anyway?  Sure, it's good gore, but there are better films with better gore in them, and I think it would be a better choice to watch those. 

No thank you, and never again.  This film scores a 28% with me. 

[Menard]

I guess that leaves Hunting Season for ya. I have not watched Zombie Chronicles, but have been tortured by Camp Blood.

Hunting Season is actually an enjoyable little movie, to me anyway. Much better than Camp Blood.

Bonus credits to anyone who can tell me the movie Hunting Season copies. Abuse to anyone who gives me the wrong answer.

[nshumate]

I recently purchased this for a mere $2, and I still feel a little cheated.  Good god, this has to be the worst zombie film I've ever seen, and I've seen Children of the Living Dead.

Ha. Ha ha.  I will assume then that you have not seen Bangers (1997), which makes The Zombie Chronicles look a George Romero/Alfred Hitchcock collaboration. Or Zombiez (2004).  Or...

The problem with declaring anything the worst of its kind is that there is always, ALWAYS something worse.  That's a law of nature.

[Raffine]

Bonus credits to anyone who can tell me the movie Hunting Season copies. Abuse to anyone who gives me the wrong answer.

I love a challenge.

Haven't seen this particular lil' epic, but from what I've read it sounds like a even worse version of I SPIT ON YOUR GRAVE... or maybe a remake/combination of MRS. MINIVER and JAWS: THE REVENGE.

[Menard]

I love a challenge.

Haven't seen this particular lil' epic, but from what I've read it sounds like a even worse version of I SPIT ON YOUR GRAVE... or maybe a remake/combination of MRS. MINIVER and JAWS: THE REVENGE.

Do ya love a wrong answer too?

Cause that's what ya got.


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*P.S. There cannot be a worse version of something as bad as I Spit on Your Grave.

[Raffine]

There cannot be a worse version of something as bad as I Spit on Your Grave.

I did wonder about that.

That would violate all the known laws of physics... and Ape Law as well.

[Kroogur]

Bonus credits to anyone who can tell me the movie Hunting Season copies. Abuse to anyone who gives me the wrong answer.

I originally thought about the Australian flick Fair Game about 3 kangaroo poachers that decide hunting a woman is more entertaining until she turns the tables, but there was another that had a woman staying in a cabin on a lake and there were a few creeps that raped her and she systematically eliminates but i can;t remember the title of that one.

[Menard]

I originally thought about the Australian flick Fair Game about 3 kangaroo poachers that decide hunting a woman is more entertaining until she turns the tables, but there was another that had a woman staying in a cabin on a lake and there were a few creeps that raped her and she systematically eliminates but i can;t remember the title of that one.

Neither one, but you do get kudos for having seen the Aussie flick. There have, unfortunately, been a multitude of movies using the title Fair Game and instead of getting an entertaining Aussie flick in a search for that title, you end up with one starring a Baldwin brother and and an ex-supermodel.

Interesting thing about Fair Game (the real one) is that, as I recall, neither of those numbnuts raped her. They seemed to be more interested in harassing her and playing games (and giving her a ride around the desert). Of course, they harassed themselves into a rather ugly death along the way.

"I'm just saying she did a good job welding"

[Raffine]

Of course, these all sound like themes and (twisted) variations on THE MOST DANGEROUS GAME (1932).

Or maybe the Looney Toons titled "Rabbit Fire"?


Bugs: "Duck season!"
Daffy: "Rabbit season!"
Bugs: "Duck season!!"
Daffy: "Rabbit season!!"
Bugs:  "Rabbit season!"
Daffy: "Duck season!!!"
Bugs: "Rabbit season!!!"
Daffy: "I say it's duck season, and I say, FIRE!"

[Menard]

Or maybe the Looney Toons titled "Rabbit Fire"?

Someone really needs to find themselves a hobby.

Might I recommend one of the female persuasion.


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[Raffine]

Someone really needs to find themselves a hobby.

Might I recommend one of the female persuasion.

Needlepoint, maybe?

[Joe the Destroyer]

I recently purchased this for a mere $2, and I still feel a little cheated.  Good god, this has to be the worst zombie film I've ever seen, and I've seen Children of the Living Dead.

Ha. Ha ha.  I will assume then that you have not seen Bangers (1997), which makes The Zombie Chronicles look a George Romero/Alfred Hitchcock collaboration. Or Zombiez (2004).  Or...

The problem with declaring anything the worst of its kind is that there is always, ALWAYS something worse.  That's a law of nature.

Yeah, I tend to avoid any movies that replace "s" with "z."  I mean, it's almost guaranteed it will suck.  It makes me think of Bratz.   

But, I do agree.  Of course, Buttcrack comes very close to being the worst, but I think it actually tried for that position.