I'm counting the hours . . .

The Burgomaster · October 21, 2003, 10:41:59 AM

I ordered JESUS CHRIST, VAMPIRE HUNTER on DVD last week. By my calculations, it should arrive in my mailbox today.

Here's my dilemma:

My wife is a fairly religious person, and she gets home before me and gets the mail every day. When DVDs arrive, she usually opens them and calls me at work to tell me the titles (this is my fault . . . I have always asked her to do this).

She is accustomed to my desire to own as many tasteless, violent, bloody, cheesy movies as possible. But I think this one will push her over the edge. She will be convinced that I will burn in hell for watching this movie.

Any advice on how to handle this one????

Fearless Freep · October 21, 2003, 12:47:48 PM

She will be convinced that I will burn in hell for watching this movie.

Any advice on how to handle this one????

Convert

raj · October 21, 2003, 12:50:01 PM

Isn't it a positive portrayal of Jesus? Doesn't he take on the minions of evil? Would she prefer "Jesus Christ, Superstar" - essentially portraying Jesus as a hippie?

Or just bite the bullet and take her out to dinner or some such.

Scott · October 21, 2003, 01:27:07 PM

Uh, that's a tough one Burgomaster. Why is it that they just don't and won't understand? Dosn't she understand that you must see this film and all others like it? Dosn't she understand the quest your on? There will be no remorse from her. I suggest you get home NOW and intercept this before it's to late. Your apparent anxiety is your own fault. This dilemma started with your desire for this sacreligeous film and other such depraved movies, but then you had to make the purchase. What a tangled web you weave. This is your own undoing. Who will save you now? Certainly your object of desire can't help you. Ask yourself....Is it worth it?

You do realize that if she opens it you'll have to be on your best behavior (for a few days anyway). Well, I'd stop reading this post Burgomaster and hurry home before she makes you a "list" of other things to do besides watching movies. Good luck. TicTock - Tic Tock............ Tic Tock - DING DONG. Time is fleeting. Make haste.........Make haste.................and good luck.

Ah yes, It reminds me of the days when I rented from NETFLIX. Yes, my wife opened them all and it was not good. By the way when your done with the movie can I borrow it?

Bernie · October 21, 2003, 01:51:34 PM

Seriously? These are the situations when mutual respect and a tolerance for each other's differences are key ingredients to a marriage. If she knows you well enough and trusts you enough, she will understand that your wanting this film is not a knock at her or her beliefs.

Unless, of course, it is....

Brother Ragnarok · October 21, 2003, 01:59:50 PM

How did you end up together if you share opposing views on religion, hers so obviously immovable. I don't think I could take it. Just tell her to chill the hell out.
More importantly, where did you order that from?

Brother R

The Burgomaster · October 21, 2003, 02:08:13 PM

Brother R:

My wife found religion a year or two after we got married . . . I've been tricked!!!!

I ordered JESUS CHRIST, VAMPIRE HUNTER from Deep Discount DVD's website (my favorite place to shop!)

raj · October 21, 2003, 02:26:14 PM

Tell her it was either JCVH or a Girls Gone Wild video. Then enjoy your hospital stay.

Scott · October 21, 2003, 04:19:10 PM

The women are ok and they eventually understand that these are guy movies for the most part. The films with religious themes can sometimes cross the line as Burgo was just trying to say, but his wife does allow for his other taste in films. We're just having fun with Burgo's subject.

Fearless Freep · October 21, 2003, 05:02:29 PM

Then enjoy your hospital stay.

Well..if the hospital has a VCR...

Evil Matt · October 21, 2003, 05:14:41 PM

Tell her that if you do end up in hell, at least you'll get to watch decent movies.

The Burgomaster · October 21, 2003, 05:46:08 PM

The thing that worries me is that it's 5:45, I'm still at work, and I haven't heard from her yet.

What does this mean?

She opened the mail, saw the DVD, and is rehearsing a big lecture for when I get home.

I'll really p**s her off when I say, "Can you please be quite for a few minutes? This is the part where the Messiah kicks some ass, and I don't want to miss it."

Scott · October 21, 2003, 08:49:27 PM

Your killing me Burgo. Thats to funny. That's something my wife would do. I feel your terror.

Scott · October 21, 2003, 10:50:40 PM

I just read some review on this film. Sounds good. I hope it's not TROMA type material or anything like CANNIBAL THE MUSICAL.

Andrew · October 21, 2003, 11:32:38 PM

I hope that you finally decided to dress up like Santo and then wrestle the DVD away from her. That always works for me.

Actually, Katie just shakes her head over most of my DVDs when I tell her the titles.

I'm counting the hours . . .

Bernie