OT: Office parties - just say "no"

[Susan]

I Just got back from a party our building had (not an office so much as the building manager). Band, booze, buffet..need I say more? Please..if I'm still around here next year do me a favor and steer me clear of attending this. I should have learned from last year but drinking around co-workers is NOT a good idea.
There was an ongoing joke about "mullet man", some drifter who came into the party who didn't work in the building but sure kept hitting the corona's. In no time flat his EX mother in law came over to tell me he was admiring me..even tho he still lives with his ex and has no job. Holy jesus now my entire office is never going to let me live down the night of mullet man.

 I had a moment where I was excited they had meat on a stick, a questionable yet delicious chinese offering and shook my glass while pointing..spilling red wine all over my arm. Classy eh? At least I didn't dance on the tables. I must also be out of touch with single life, some guy said something smelled good and asked if it was me, I quickly suggested it was the fish..lol. I figure if someone doesn't have a sense of humor then we aren't meant for eachother. ;-)

They were also encouraging nametags which i found really tacky so I wrote my name so small the naked eye couldn't read it and stuck it on my thigh..i figure they'll have to work for it if they wanna know who I am. I came really close to writing Lois Lane.

Has anyone else have office party horror stories? All I can say is even tho i had several glasses of wine I do not recollect anyone with a video camera...at least...i hope

[Ash]

Never been to an office party so I couldn't tell ya....

And yes, from what you've written I can tell that you've had a few too many!

Hehe!

[Neon Noodle]

I used to work for Verizon. Let's just say that I saw many careers ruined at Christmas parties and summer picnics. One in particular stands out, when one of my friends' wives decided to dance with me.
Her husband had tipped a few back by this time, and someone asked why she was dancing with me. Innocent question, right? Her husband said "I'm renting her out for $10 a dance."

Unfortunately, she heard this...and so did most of the managers. I was pretty embarassed, she was ready to murder him. It was even worse because we had carpooled together.

[Susan]

Neon, i'm just glad the majority of the 'higher ups" in our office were present only at the beginning, and not at the end when I began having a few more. I can imagine that carpool was quite an interesting ride home. Scary, luckily nobody at our office brings their family to these parties. Our company has a party, then our office has a party, but the worst party of all is the building party. We have lots of big shot brokerage firms and banks and whatnots leasing in there and they go all out on the catering, with all the free flowing (and let me stress FREE) liquor..well you can imagine. The company party has alcohol but you only get one free, the rest you pay for.

See I shoulda learned from last year, i was new then and after the party took about an hour nap in my car in the garage. I don't drink that often so when I do, it goes right to my head. I guess it coulda been worse, I caught one lady really dancing away near the band (which was playing classical music..not really the type you dance a solo to)  This morning i feel better, i think red wine has too much tennan in it or something for me to tolerate. Thank god i took today off, but i have this creepy feeling i'll be hearing about mullet man on monday.

[Eirik]

I was at an office party once where a guy got really drunk and wound up punching the guy everybody hated.  It was awesome and several slightly less drunk people - myself included - cheered.  Best part is that the guy didn't get fired, but he did get transferred to another office in another building and was forced to apologize in person to the jerk he hit and via e-mail to the whole organization.

And I guess since the jerk didn't press charges (he was hit in the stomach, so no real marksor injuries) he really couldn't have been all that much of a jerk in hindsight.

[Susan]

Holy cow Eirik, what kind of company did you work for? lol  I can't imagine that would go down at ours, our parties start out too snooty, maybe that's the problem. The liquor encourages you to misbehave in an elegant environment. We need to host it at a rundown bar...then maybe all can be excused. I'm suprised nobody sued that guy, these days how people sue over everything. I guess that was a lesson learned in who not to drink with if you suspect they might dislike you.  

I guess everyone must have an office party story - you would think with that they would just ban them alltogether. Either that or have a drink maximum, don't have a buffet for liquor only and keep refilling my glass..because after glass 3 I have no more common sense remaining. Probably why now I wonder why i kept going back for seconds and thirds of the mysterious "meat on a stick", when a chinese place was catering. In hindsite, probably not a wise choice.

[raj]

I dunno Susan, that mullet man sounds like a real prize catch.

I don't have any horror stories, just endless sequels.
First the party for the library student workers, then the law school staff party, then the library staff party, then the son of the party, and revenge of the party . . .
Stop, for the love of all that is human, stop the party madness.
Oh, and then the New Year's party.  Just when you thought it was safe to go back to work.

[George]

We have these parties too but I don't quite get it.  I mean, why in the hell do people party with folks with whom they work??  I like many of the people I work with but have NO interest in giving them info/ammo to hit me with all year long.  I would rather make my compulsory appearance and get the hell out.  The food is never THAT good and who the heck can't afford cheap liquor.

[Chopper2]

talk about a s**tty night!

[Chopper2]

Susan: I have an office-like job, but since I work for the government it's a much more strict environment. thanks for the insight though into the modern office world, this could be great material for a screenplay! ; )

[Eirik]

Haha!  I was working for a telecommunications company (we set up antenna patterns for cell phones).  There was a lot of backstory and history that went into the one-punch "fight" and the jerk was openly and deliberately antagonizing the guy who eventually hit him.  He patronizingly put his arm around the guy's shoulder which triggered the hook to the gut.  The party was in a bar too - a fairly nice one, but it was smoky and dim which is more conducive to a fight than a nicer setting I think.  I'm sure a law suit was cosidered, and frankly it wouldn't surprise me if the management used their influence to dissuade one because the guy who threw the punch was a pretty highly valued employee.

I think managers/bosses like holiday parties because they can gauge morale and get people's guard down - maybe learn some things that will help them make personnel decisions, and see what kind of judgement their employees exercise.  And so long as you're not the guy who makes an ass of himself, who cares??
:)

[Eirik]

I bet a lot of office horror stories revolve around those stupid games that eventually get played.  There's always at least two or three hyper-competitive a***oles who make fools of themselves by b***hing about the outcome or crying foul if they feel an opponent didn't strictly obey the rules.  I once saw a lady tear up and have to excuse herself because she thought another team got asked easier trivia questions in some stupid team trivia match-up.  I mean good Lord, there wasn't even a prize for the winner!

[ulthar]

Well a bunch of years ago, I was at what could be called a group Christmas party and the secretary of our part of the group was sitting on my lap (she was an older woman, but very, very attractive).  Her husband came over and whispered to the lady sitting next to us (but loud enough to hear) "I may not have my gun tomorrow, but I do have it tonight."  She was promptly encouraged to get up.

The history we had at parties did not help...earlier in the  year at the Halloween costume party, she was dressed as a Dallas Cowboys cheerleader ... and she was sitting on my lap at that party as well (I have pictures of this that someone took)...so I guess by Christmas, he had grown weary of it and no longer thought it was cute.

For the record, she and I never did anything (except sorta flirt at the parties), and never saw each other except at work.

[The Burgomaster]

I have been the notorious office party guy for years.  My last name is Salamone, and at my last job people referred to all of the office parties as "Salamania."  I tend to get a bit inebriated (I usually start off with about 5 scotch & sodas, and then do 3 quick Sambuca shots . . . then back to the scotch & sodas).  At that point, I'll do anything & everything to get a laugh.

[Susan]

>>I dunno Susan, that mullet man sounds like a real prize catch.<<

Right, i shoulda just climbed in the back of his beatup pickup that was surely parked out front in the 1hour visitor parking. What I can't figure out is why i'm the redneck type,  i get hit on by more country boys than I can stomach. I leep wondering if rednecks attend meetings where there is a poster of women and how to approach them and my face is on that poster. He must have been there for the free beer, he clearly stuck out like  a sore thumb with all the suits that were mingling. It's not that I have high standards, I just don't want to date anyone with the IQ of a potato.  I'd ideally like someone who could actually beat me at risk and scrabble (not someone who can't even understand the dee-rekshuns)

>>earlier in the year at the Halloween costume party, she was dressed as a Dallas Cowboys cheerleader ... and she was sitting on my lap at that party as well <<

You've got the magic lap. New years should be interesting ;-)

I've decided to try and avoid these social gatherings, i'm only going to get myself in trouble. (I'm not used to an office job, my last job i worked independently). By the end of the night the "secret santa's" were outed, I thought one girl was going to take down the supervisor if she didnt' confess to having been hers, another began getting upset her's only put a penny on her chair...so much for secrets. Good thing we didn't start talking about our sex lives..although that did come up a few times and that is one pandora's box you do NOT want to open with people you work with...because of the ever-going gossip mill

burgo wrote:
>> At that point, I'll do anything & everything to get a laugh.
<<

Will you be the next star wars kid on the net? lol let's hope it's not caught on tape..

>>>then the law school staff party, then the library staff party, then the son of the party, and revenge of the party . . .
Stop, for the love of all that is human, stop the party madness.
<<,

I couldn't agree more..lol. Our office has a birthday party every month along with all the going away parties, promotion parties, you got knocked up parties, someone finally married your ass party and the prequel to thanksgiving party aka  "we want to make you into a fatass party: have summore cake"



Post Edited (12-12-03 11:31)