13 escential bad movies.

[Rev. Powell]

Wow, Lil' Cerb, you got Tarkas beat.  His choices only change every day; your's change every 4 hours!

[lester1/2jr]

not that I'm a stickler for staybing in the lines, but some of thes movies are not really "bad"!

[Nukie 2]

Yeah deathrace is a cult movie, and in retrospect is campy, but for it's time that had to be really amazing. Still it's one of the best pieces of eye-candy put on celluloid.

You can buy Nukie from Amazon for around 3 bucks.
It's really a movie for people like us; it's that bad!
I must warn you, there are some painful bits, so have a few beers. But there are also really hillarious bits. Yeah, it's a total ET knock-off that tries to be heartwarming, but instead is disgusting, inane, and inept; Nukie unlike ET, doesn't help people going through tough times, but instead is the purpose of tough times.

[LilCerberus]

Wow, Lil' Cerb, you got Tarkas beat.  His choices only change every day; your's change every 4 hours!

Sorta' depends on which "B" one's in the mood for. 

Blood, Breasts, Beasts, Boots & Bullets, Bikes & Babes, Babbling Bums, Beaches & Bikinis, Bombs...

Feel free to add any other b-words. 

[LilCerberus]

1) Elephant Parts
2) Road Lawyers
3) Corn Flicks
4) Loose Shoes
5) We're all Devo
6) It Came From Hollywood
7) Terror in the Aisles
8) Digital Dreams
9) Bimbo Movie Bash
10) Hardware Wars
11) Not of This Earth
12) The Projectionist
13) Kentucky Fried Movie

[JJ80]

1 - Lifeforce;
2 - The Strangeness;
3 - Teenagers From Outer Space;
4 - Godzilla Vs The Smog Monster;
5 - The Land That time Forgot;
6 - Bride Of The Monster;
7 - Horror Of The Blood Monsters;
8 - Mighty Jack;
9 - Gorgo;
10 - Queen Of Blood;
11 - Spaceways;
12 - The Black Scorpion;
13 - King Of The Zombies.

[JaseSF]

1) The Angry Red Planet (1959) - Wonderfully bizarre monsters
2) The Brain From Planet Arous (1957) - Evil, demented floating alien brain possesses John Agar...what's not to love?
3. Frankenstein Meets the Space Monster (1965) - robot astronaut driven crazy after getting damaged in space returns to Earth while aliens attempt to harvest fertile human females in an effort to repopulate their world. Terrific musical ditties enhance this one's appeal.
4. Horror of Party Beach (1964) - hot dogged mouthed monsters go on rampage...terrorizing local beaches and slumber parties!
5. Robot Monster (1953) - one of those movies so bad it's almost great. Has a surreal childlike fantasy appeal but how can one get past the gorilla suit/diving helmet monster and his spouting lines of confusion brought on by his funny feelings he gets for a young female hottie.
6. The Beast of Yucca Flats (1961) - just totally mindblowing experience in minimalism or is it? Tor Johnson wanders desert an atomic fiend of the modern age while the narrator spouts similar dialogue over and over. Almost brilliant!
7. The Shaolin Invincibles (1977) - In a sense, this has it all! That is if you like your Kung Fu with fighting gorillas (actually guys in the most ridiculous-looking ape costumes you’re ever likely to see) and their long-tongued trainers (with tongues that often look ludricrously fake too) who make use of said tongues in battle. Actually this proves better than u might think as the Kung Fu and two female leads is actually quite appealing.
8. To Kill With Intrigue (1977) - just for being such a wonderfully confusing mess of supernatural combined with Kung Fu.
9. Fire Maidens of Outer Space (1956) - inept, incredibly cheap looking rip-off of Cat Women of the Moon that somehow looks even cheaper and more inept than any of these other lost tribe of women on another planet films (there's actually quite a few). Features a monster that's obviously just a tall guy wearing a mask!
10. Maniac (1934) - seriously whacked film claims to be an attempt to accurately portray insanity but is obviously in reality trying to appeal to the heights of sleazy
exploitation with scenes of women armed with syringes fighting or a guy eating a cat's eyeball not to mention mixing in nude images borrowed from Häxan, Die Nibelungen: Siegfried and Maciste all'inferno.
11. The Brain That Wouldn't Die (1962) - Dr. Bill Cortner has a car accident that leaves his lovely girlfriend a head on a pan and sets out to find her a new body, preferably for him one fit and sexy. Sleazy to the max but also delightfully entertaining exploitation at its very best.
12. The Giant Claw (1957) - Any who've seen this tale of the giant buzzard that's as big as a battleship, flies at supersonic speed and is made of anti-matter knows why this belongs here.
13. Teenagers From Outer Space (1959) - Beware the Gargon! Hmm interesting it looks suspiciously like a lobster's shadow. Anyhoos...this one is actually great fun as a renegade Martian, who unlike his fellows wants to not destroy everything in which he comes in contact, has to try and fend off his fellows from destroying humanity. Loads of great ray gun action!

[Kester Pelagius]

Inspired by this thread I have posted KESTER'S 13 ESSENTIAL BAD MOVIES at Cosmic Cinema.

Worth clicking the link for the synopsis, which includes suggestioned pairings for those who may be planning weekend bad movie night events. 

[Kester Pelagius]

1) Elephant Parts
2) Road Lawyers
3) Corn Flicks
4) Loose Shoes

Never heard of these.  You're not shamming us are you? 

5) We're all Devo
6) It Came From Hollywood

Still haven't heard of any of these. . .

7) Terror in the Aisles

Wasn't this the title of a documentary about horror movies?

8) Digital Dreams

Yet another title I've never head of and. . .

9) Bimbo Movie Bash

OMG!  What did we ever do to you that you'd suggest this.. this.. This atrocity against the human mind!?!?

But seriously it is pretty bad.  Best of the worst of the worst bad movies.

10) Hardware Wars

Didn't they show that on Night Flight?

11) Not of This Earth

Which one?

12) The Projectionist

And we're back to the titles I've never heard of again. .

13) Kentucky Fried Movie

Heard of but don't think I've ever seen it.  Then again there's a LOT of 80s era movies I watched and have no memory of.  Who knows why.

[LilCerberus]

You must be one o' them young fellers, aintcha', Kester.
Alright, I'll try & break it down for ya', best I can.
The idea was montages & collections of short films that feature or spoof everything we've seen before.

1) Elephant Parts
- With a career in music & acting that pretty much died with The Monkees, the genius that is Micheal Nesmith turned his sites towards producing & directing. This collection of short films & music videos did well enough on the festival circuit, that he was later, able to bring us Repo Man.

2) Road Lawyers
- A collection of shorts, which features a pretty good spoof of Mad Max.

3) Corn Flicks
- I was going to take a shortcut & say "Any given episode of Night Flight", but decided not to.

4) Loose Shoes
- Spoofing every theatrical trailer ever made, it features a few people that, at the time, were famous. Though I'm sure today's audiences would be put off by the ethnic jokes, it does give clear insight into how we started using the term "gratuitous".

5) We're all Devo
- Just do a google video search for Devo. Something should click.

6) It Came From Hollywood
- Never heard of this one? Now, that is simply inexcusable!

7) Terror in the Aisles
- As well as "It Came From Hollywood", this one makes a great primer for any kid who lives a little too close to the video store, with way too much free time on his hands. I should know.

8) Digital Dreams
- It's a long story. It's easier to appreciate if your old enough to remember 5.5 floppies.

9) Bimbo Movie Bash
- Sorry... I, eh, don't have cable.

10) Hardware Wars
- (see "Corn Flicks")

11) Not of This Earth
- The one with Traci Lords, that's heavily padded with clips from every Corman movie ever made. Again, a good primer for the works of Roger Corman.

12) The Projectionist
- Must admit, I was grasping at straws with this one. It's kinda' like "UHF", only much more nostalgic, & not quite as entertaining.

13) Kentucky Fried Movie
- Uh... It's in here, somewhere.

Well, Kester, I hope this explains everything, & kudos on The Invisible Maniac.

[lester1/2jr]

the projectionist is kind of awesome.  it's basically a collection of old movie clips but they are really well chosen.  and it's rodney dangerfields first movie.

[BTM]

3) Emmanuel

Which one, there's like fifty of them.  :)

[LilCerberus]

3) Emmanuel

Which one, there's like fifty of them.  :)

I meant the first one.
It's kinda' essential to understanding the other 50.

[Kester Pelagius]

You must be one o' them young fellers, aintcha', Kester.

Young enough to remember the cassette players for the Atari 2600 and how a friend asked to borrow my adapter because he thought any tape player would do and tried to use his C=64 cassette player with his 2600. . . though I forget if it only didn't work or if it ruined his console.

I also remember playing with dinosaurs.  Granted they were plastic but. .   

Alright, I'll try & break it down for ya', best I can.
The idea was montages & collections of short films that feature or spoof everything we've seen before.

1) Elephant Parts
- With a career in music & acting that pretty much died with The Monkees, the genius that is Micheal Nesmith turned his sites towards producing & directing. This collection of short films & music videos did well enough on the festival circuit, that he was later, able to bring us Repo Man.

Wait.  I remember something with N playing on Night Flight.  He was in a bad suit singing "singing in the dark" and I seem to recall that episode was broken up with weird spoofy micro segments, like a pirate digging a hole that turns to face the camera and says in an effemite lisp "S" then the letter "S" appeared on screen ala Sesame Street.

That wasn't this was it?

2) Road Lawyers
- A collection of shorts, which features a pretty good spoof of Mad Max.

I've heard of this.  Though the person/book/article or whatever had a different opinion of whether this spoof was any good.

3) 4) Loose Shoes
- Spoofing every theatrical trailer ever made, it features a few people that, at the time, were famous. Though I'm sure today's audiences would be put off by the ethnic jokes, it does give clear insight into how we started using the term "gratuitous".

I'm no more enlightened yet strangely intrigued.

6) It Came From Hollywood
- Never heard of this one? Now, that is simply inexcusable!

I never heard of the oriental basket trick before looking in a book with a picture of a naked woman in a basket being lowered toward some guy in a picture in a book in WALDENBOOKS in the 80s (back before the bane of political correctness ruined bookstores) so we're even.

What?  Too much information?

 

8) Digital Dreams
- It's a long story. It's easier to appreciate if your old enough to remember 5.5 floppies.

I remember COBOL, Trash 80s, CP/M, hating trying to figure out DIM commands when adapting basic from one platform to another, and when you could buy hamburgers for under a quarter yet I've never heard of this movie, or at least don't recall the title so far as I recollect.

9) Bimbo Movie Bash
- Sorry... I, eh, don't have cable.

That's no excuse.  I mean BEACH BABES FROM BEYOND, GALACTIC GIGOLO, STAR SLAMMER, or SLAVE GIRLS FROM BEYOND INFINITY I could understand.  But BMB?  It's just a poorly done highlight reel that totally lacks plot and has nothing but gratuitious clip scenes. . .

OH!

Nevermind.  Carry on.  Nothing to see here.

11) Not of This Earth
- The one with Traci Lords, that's heavily padded with clips from every Corman movie ever made. Again, a good primer for the works of Roger Corman.

You should see the 90s era remake he made for cable.  It's even worse, not just with overuse of clips.   

12) The Projectionist
- Must admit, I was grasping at straws with this one. It's kinda' like "UHF", only much more nostalgic, & not quite as entertaining.

13) Kentucky Fried Movie
- Uh... It's in here, somewhere.

Well, Kester, I hope this explains everything, & kudos on The Invisible Maniac.

Everything?  Not quite.  I still don't know why the sky is blue or the grass is green or why chocolate tastes so good.  Guess you're right.  I'm just a wee baby. 

 

[quabrot]

1. Manos: The Hands of Fate - Obvious choice.  Every bad movie fan has to see it, just like Plan 9.

2. Star Crystal - Being a hardcore Star Crystal fan, I recommend it to everyone.

3. Bog - Don't really know what to say about this one.  Watch it, and it will all make sense.

4. Harley Davidson and the Marlboro Man - I agree with Lil' Cerb on this one.  It's the quintessential 90s B-grade action movie.

5. Never Too Young to Die - The Tagline?  "John Stamos: New Breed of Action Hero!"

6. Frogs!  - Nature run amok at its best.

7. The Amazing Colossal Man - Every giant monster movie fan needs to see it.

8. House II: The Second Story - One of my favorite movies of all time.  It's really got everything: Cowboys, zombies, dinosaurs, swashbuckling...

9. The Last Dinosaur - Richard Boone goes rubber-suited dinosaur hunting.  It's even got a catchy Bond-style theme.

10. Gassss... - Everyone over the age 25 is dead, and a bunch of hippies go on a road trip looking for paradise.  Along the way, they encounter God, a motorcycle-riding Edgar Allen Poe, and a football team that has become a fascist regime training to "sack El Paso".

11. Attack of the Supermonsters - Cartoon people driving through a live-action model city and fighting rubber-suited dinosaurs...  It's a trip.

12. Equinox - Most people are sold on it when they hear it was the inspiration for Evil Dead, but I recommend it for the special effects.

13. Skyscraper - It's an action movie starring Anna Nicole Smith, and everything you'd expect out of that.