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Title: Beneath Loch Ness Post by: Andrew on June 21, 2002, 06:25:58 PM Picked this up because, hey, it was supposed to be a monster movie. The viewing did not go well; in fact, Katie even got angry and went to bed. I think she blames me!
The first problem is the amount of monster in my monster movie. In other words: not much. Considering that the beastie was CGI, vice stop motion, the almost total lack of good monster screen time is a little mystifying. Next problem was the editing. Confusion reigned supreme, especially early on, on account of a true hack job. At some point the creature attacks some Nessie impersonators (they are swimming a fake, floating likeness around the Loch) and we don't see the attack at all! Lysette Anthony (Lyssa from Krull) was totally unrecognizable too, until I checked the movie credits. If you want to see a better "dinosaur in a pond" movie, watch "The Crater Lake Monster." Never thought I might be saying that. Andrew Title: The Schlock Ness Monster Post by: Foywonder on June 21, 2002, 07:21:55 PM This movie is so dopey and delirously incoherent I actually liked it. God help me, but I did.
You wanna see funny? Go to IMDB and look it up and see nothing but review after review of p**sed off Scots since this movie apparently got released in Scotland before us. I think we caused an international incident over this one. It got so ugly that the movie's director himself posted a rebuttal trying to both defend the film and deny responsibility at the same time. Needless to say, I've already written up a review for this film that will be appearing in my bad movie column at New Orleans Worst Film Festival site ( www.nowff.com ) within the next week. Even I have to say this is going to be a good review because Lord knows this movie gave me so much cannon fodder to work with. Title: Re: Inconceivable!! Post by: Squishy on June 22, 2002, 04:57:08 AM Oh, Holy Father: if Beneath Loch Ness is actually worse than The Crater Lake Monster, then surely these are the End Times.
(runs out door to find it before the brimstone falls) Title: Its not that bad. Post by: Foywonder on June 22, 2002, 06:10:23 AM Beneath Loch Ness is just gleefully incoherent and watchably bad whereas The Crater Lake Monster is just duller than dirt and virtually unwatchable.
Title: Re: Its not that bad. Realy! Post by: Flangepart on June 22, 2002, 11:23:27 AM Sounds like a flick i should get. Made a few refrences to Tim the Enchanter, humm? Any movie with scots in is gold by me. Love the accent, and the attitude of the scots if refresingly informal. Do a double feature with Crater Lake Monster.....oh,better whip up some haggis first. Haggis an' Guinnes, only a rrrreal man Kin handle it!
Title: No actual Scots were harmed or filmed during the making of this movie! Post by: Foywonder on June 22, 2002, 07:17:14 PM It was filmed in California with American actors doing bad Scottish accents.
Title: Re: No actual Scots were harmed or filmed during the making of this movie! Post by: Flangepart on June 23, 2002, 02:10:22 PM Well, that explains why the Scots are hacked off. Among other things, like say, England.
Title: Re: The Schlock Ness Monster Post by: Nathan on June 24, 2002, 10:13:21 AM "It got so ugly that the movie's director himself posted a rebuttal trying to both defend the film and deny responsibility at the same time."
An acolyte of Gary Goddard, obviously... Nathan Title: Re: No actual Scots were harmed or filmed during the making of this movie! Post by: Nathan on June 24, 2002, 10:14:28 AM Hey, that's the only kind of Scottish accents Americans know.
Nathan Title: a review/viewer from imdb Post by: mogwai on June 24, 2002, 12:30:10 PM alistairmuir
Haggis Mctaggart Land Date: 10 July 2001 Summary: This is not Scotland -99% of this film was set in the USA. -99% of the actors in this film are bad American actors pretending to be Scots. -All of the Americans playing Scots in this film have stereotypically incorrect characters. -I could make a better film than this less than a day. -They showed the same Nessie computer animation at least 8 times. -Scots are not all bearded hostile excentrics that look like Andy Goram. -Thats why this film is such a great laugh(for all the wrong reasons!) |