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#31
Bad Movies / Re: RECENT VIEWINGS (Bad Movie...
Last post by Alex - Today at 12:40:52 AMQuote from: chainsaw midget on July 15, 2026, 06:05:11 PMThe Bride (2026)
This is a new one, so I'm going to do something I don't normally do.
I'm going to give you a spoiler warning.
This post spoils everything.
and now you're warned.
I just watcheed The Bride, the new Bride of Frankenstein movie. It only took me a few minutes in before I realizes ... damn. It is not looking good. That Mary Shelly intro is just all sorts of terrible not only from a narrative point of view, but disrespectful.
It starts with a very tell-no-show scene where Mary Shelly, is in some dark void talking about how she wants to present the story that she REALLY wanted to tell. She comes across as either drunk, insane, or some combination of the two in a very disrespectful way. She ends up possessing a woman... who is almost immediately killed. Then the actual Frankenstein's Monster (called Frank through most of the movie), shows up at some random mad scientists house. He tells her straight up that he wants sex, so she needs to make him a Bride. I'm not joking. That's actually how he puts it. So... they end up end up digging up the body of that woman who Mary Shelly possessed. And it appears that Mary Shelly is still in there, although what effect that has on the actual plot never seem to be apparent.
The woman is brought back, she doesn't know her name and the movie makes a big deal out of this. She distinctively does not want to be Frank's bride, although they go out together and they bond ... somehow. It's just that they start getting along. I don't know.
So, one night the two of them are attacked by some drunken punks and Frank kills them when they try to rape The Bride. From here on "the Killer Monsters" seem to be a big news story. This introduces a detective and his secretary that never seem to actually have anything to do with the plot until the last few minutes.
Eventually while on the run, they sneak into some big fancy party where they pretend to be waiters. For some reason they do a big dance number to "Putting on the Ritz". Then The Bride has this weird long rant afterwards they shoot and policeman and run. Apparently this inspires like, six women to run through the streets shooting guns in the air and shouting "Brain attack" for reasons I can't figure out. This is apparently some big femminist movement.
so Frank and his Bride are on the run. A cop pulls them over and tries to rape the Bride and Frank shoots him (kinda odd that this is the second time in the movie that somebody tries to rape her and Frank saves her.)
There a scene later in the movie where they got to a theater, and Frank confesses that she's not actually just recovering from an accident like they told her ealier. They brought her back to life and he had no idea who she was before that. There's a weird thing where they're sitting in a car talking, but the drive-in theater shows them as actors on screen delivering the same lines and this ISN'T a stylistic effect because there's one other character who can see this and has no idea what's going on. Anyway, this is when she decideds she has to have a new name and declares herself "The Bride."
Frank proposes to her and she says she doesn't want to be anyone's bride. Kinda mixed signals there. Then the police show up and shoot Frank in the head. And he dies. The Bride decides to take his body back to the mad doctor from the begining.
She can't revive him and isn't going to try. Here's where we get a last minute revelation that she and her former lover used to experiment on each other until one of the experiments went wrong, he forgot who she was, and she had to put him down. Kinda too little too late to mean anything to the movie.
The detective that has been following them the whole time jumps out and shoots the Bride a bunch. Then other police show up and open fire on Frank and his Bride and the detective runs.
The secretary then says she's in charge, she's the detective, and pulls out a badge, which is another revelation too late to mean anything.
The movie ends with a flash of electricity and we see the Bride and Frank's hands start to move. Then we hear The Monster Mash. No seriously.
I don't know what this movie was trying to be. It felt very much like Frankenstein itself, pieced together from various plotlines that were in no way meant to be attached to each other.
Also, I don't know why they thought making making the Bride look like that scene in Ernest goes to Jail where he's eating the pen was a good idea.
From that review, it sounds like this belongs more on the strange dreams thread. Seems very trippy.
#32
Off Topic Discussion / Re: World Cup?
Last post by Alex - Today at 12:34:50 AMThere were a lot of people in work yesterday singing the Footballs Coming Home song. I resisted the temptation this morning to change the lyrics to England's Coming Home. Based on their previous matches I did expect them to go out the first time they faced a big footballing nation and thought they'd been a bit lucky to get as far as they did, but fair play to them for getting there.
Looking forward to it all being over and there being something else in the news.
Looking forward to it all being over and there being something else in the news.
#33
Off Topic Discussion / Re: strange dream depository
Last post by Dalmatian Bobby Samaritan - July 15, 2026, 10:17:48 PMI had a dream a couple of days ago that Michael Keaton (the dude from the first Batman movie) was sitting comfortably in a chair somewhere and calling me a Drunk and saying a bunch of horrible things about me. And most of it was disgruntlement about Donald Trump. Like he was blaming me for the reason that Donald Trump has been in office for so long. Like he was making some kind of barking disgruntled case that my existence or me being alive is affecting reality and it is the reason why Donald Trump is still president.
So yeah. I came back at Michael Keaton and called him a liar. And I said how chic and disingenuous of you to say that, coming from someone in hollywood who promotes homosexuality and transgender and a deadening of consciousness and morals and pro communist ideals. He basically stared me down like you would see in some Old West gunfighter duel.
It was crazy. I woke up from that dream and I was like Woah..I thought I liked Michael Keaton, but now I am pretty sure that he is the devil. I haven't seen one of his movies in a long time. I think the last one I saw was something about him being the owner or founder of Mcdonalds. I don't know what it is called. All of that stuff I said in the dream though, about homosexuals and transgender and filth and porn and stuff, I don't know if any of that is true about his films. At least from the ones that I have seen. But I was kind of associating him with all of hollywood though.
Oh well.
Oh by the way. Hi I am new to the forum! Thanks. Oh also. This picture (I think it is from Birdman) kind of has a Dirty Harry look to it. To me. Like Go Ahead make my day. And just recently, like the day after the dream my aunt texted me and said that she was Watching Dirty Harry. And then the day after that I looked on the internet and saw a picture of Senator Mitch McConnell in a hospital bed but wearing normal clothes and dressed really eerily similar to how I saw Michael Keaton in that dream. Coincidence?
So yeah. I came back at Michael Keaton and called him a liar. And I said how chic and disingenuous of you to say that, coming from someone in hollywood who promotes homosexuality and transgender and a deadening of consciousness and morals and pro communist ideals. He basically stared me down like you would see in some Old West gunfighter duel.
It was crazy. I woke up from that dream and I was like Woah..I thought I liked Michael Keaton, but now I am pretty sure that he is the devil. I haven't seen one of his movies in a long time. I think the last one I saw was something about him being the owner or founder of Mcdonalds. I don't know what it is called. All of that stuff I said in the dream though, about homosexuals and transgender and filth and porn and stuff, I don't know if any of that is true about his films. At least from the ones that I have seen. But I was kind of associating him with all of hollywood though.
Oh well.
Oh by the way. Hi I am new to the forum! Thanks. Oh also. This picture (I think it is from Birdman) kind of has a Dirty Harry look to it. To me. Like Go Ahead make my day. And just recently, like the day after the dream my aunt texted me and said that she was Watching Dirty Harry. And then the day after that I looked on the internet and saw a picture of Senator Mitch McConnell in a hospital bed but wearing normal clothes and dressed really eerily similar to how I saw Michael Keaton in that dream. Coincidence?
#35
Games / Re: Answer the question with a...
Last post by bob - July 15, 2026, 09:35:08 PMI'm
Where are the dogs?
Where are the dogs?
#36
Off Topic Discussion / Re: Picture of the day, part I...
Last post by LilCerberus - July 15, 2026, 08:27:44 PM
#37
Good Movies / Re: Recent Viewings, Part 2
Last post by indianasmith - July 15, 2026, 07:21:30 PMCRABS! (2021) Giant, radioactive mutant horseshoe crabs attack a small seaside community.
This movie has everything - a random, gratuitous sex scene to start with, crab attacks, sexy science teacher, paraplegic science nerd dating said teacher's daughter, more crab attacks, crabs mutating to gigantic size, said paraplegic nerd inventing a giant battle bot to fight an 80-foot-tall horseshoe crab, crabs taking over the town, drinking, playing music, and generally wreaking mayhem. Oh, and a nerdy foreign exchange student named Radu who owns (and can use) a samurai sword, even though he is from eastern Europe. This is pure B-movie GOLD, free on TubiTV! 5/5
This movie has everything - a random, gratuitous sex scene to start with, crab attacks, sexy science teacher, paraplegic science nerd dating said teacher's daughter, more crab attacks, crabs mutating to gigantic size, said paraplegic nerd inventing a giant battle bot to fight an 80-foot-tall horseshoe crab, crabs taking over the town, drinking, playing music, and generally wreaking mayhem. Oh, and a nerdy foreign exchange student named Radu who owns (and can use) a samurai sword, even though he is from eastern Europe. This is pure B-movie GOLD, free on TubiTV! 5/5
#38
Bad Movies / Re: 100 Historical Movies in O...
Last post by indianasmith - July 15, 2026, 07:17:06 PMLINCOLN, (2012) Set in January 1865
#39
Off Topic Discussion / Re: Random Statements About So...
Last post by indianasmith - July 15, 2026, 07:16:19 PMA long day out on the lake - sure was fun, but I'm tired, sore, and sunburned!
#40
Bad Movies / Re: RECENT VIEWINGS (Bad Movie...
Last post by indianasmith - July 15, 2026, 07:15:18 PMLOL, to each his own. I loved it BECAUSE it was insane and incomprehensible!