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RISE: BLOOD HUNTER (2007):
Madame wanted to watch this because she said she remembered really liking it 20 years ago. After it ended she admitted she might've just had a crush on Lucy Liu. That's a fine explanation, Liu looks great here and playing a butt-kicking vampire who hunts other vampires w/ a crossbow should have been a no-brainer home-run-outta'-the-park role for her. Unfortunately the film is complete nonsense. When you turn into a vampire do you instantly become a perfect marksman w/ a crossbow? What is the title even referring to? Those are just two of the questions you may ask during RISE: BLOOD HUNTER. (Should the colon in the title have been a comma instead, as RISE, BLOOD HUNTER might make more sense? There's a third question.)

Sebastian Gutierrez, the genius who gave the world SNAKES ON A PLANE, also w/d this less-overtly amusing clownshow. His brand of sloppy stylishness actually does occasionally recall Lynchian noir from LOST HIGHWAY, WILD AT HEART, et al, and there is a scene early on w/ party girls being stalked in a creepy house that is actually atmospheric, intense, and borderline scary (...in spite of the scene still defying all sober logic). To his credit, Gutierrez has also been partnered for 30 years w/ ultra-gorgeous Carla Gugino. She appears briefly here as a supporting vampire but honestly (based on Gugino's excellent work for Mike Flanagan) the film would have likely been better had Gugino played Liu's underwritten lead role.

For good or ill, the large and inexplicable cast is the most noteworthy thing about RISE. Michael Chiklis is 2nd-billed as a character with only two apparent attributes - "alcoholic" and "cop" - until the last 30 minutes of the film, which deliver a wholly unsupported left-field plot twist which depend upon us knowing heretofore unrevealed things about his relationship with his estranged daughter.

Character actor Julio Oscar Mechoso appears in the middle as "Vladimir Exposition", setting up expectation that his character will return by the end of the film (but he doesn't). Holt McAllany (from "Mindhunters") and Mako are vampires and Elden Hensen is a Renfield; Marilyn Manson (also briefly in LOST HIGHWAY, actually) appears pointlessly as a bartender and Nick Lachey

gets too much screen-time before (happily) getting his throat ripped out.

Most unnervingly, Robert Forster (!) appears in the first scene - and then never reappears! I suspect Forster enjoyed sub-sixty second cameos more than large roles - his 21st century credits are replete w/ "blink and you'll miss him" gigs.

Not offensively bad. 2.5/5 The pointless and oddly depressing CARRIE-esque final shot was probably setting up a franchise for Liu's character, lol.