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August 26, 2016, 08:15:28 PM
568883 Posts in 43666 Topics by 5695 Members
Latest Member: DoubleFistedDoubleFeature
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 61 
 on: August 25, 2016, 10:57:09 AM 
Started by Trevor - Last post by Rev. Powell
What's the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with big boobs?

One's a crusty bus station, the other's a busty crustacean!

 62 
 on: August 25, 2016, 10:12:58 AM 
Started by Ash - Last post by bob
Hobgoblins

 63 
 on: August 25, 2016, 09:16:38 AM 
Started by trekgeezer - Last post by Rev. Powell
MEAT (2010): A melancholy detective investigates a murder at a butcher shop where the employees have high libidos. A not-for-everyone arty erotic drama, with some very explicit sex scenes at the beginning, that turns completely surreal in the third act. 2.5/5.

 64 
 on: August 25, 2016, 09:02:31 AM 
Started by dean - Last post by Rev. Powell
Happy birthday to old Cheeze!  Cheers

 65 
 on: August 25, 2016, 08:59:25 AM 
Started by Doggett - Last post by Rev. Powell

 66 
 on: August 25, 2016, 08:51:52 AM 
Started by dean - Last post by Trevor
Happy birthday to Brother Cheeze  Cheers

 67 
 on: August 25, 2016, 07:46:45 AM 
Started by dean - Last post by clockworkcanary
Blood Freak (1972) is a masterpiece of realism; it's a great social commentary on the evils of scientific food experimentation, the perils of drug abuse, and human existentialism! This story is told in near real time and without all those pretentious Hollywood tricks such as lighting, editing, pacing, or acting. Instead, this film approaches Stanley Kubrick-levels of cinematography.

Due to the complex, interweaving, plot-thickening twists, we are treated to superb narration inter-cuts by a knowledgeable subject matter expert with great wood paneling backdrops. This narrator helps explain the complex story we are enduring in a most coherent manner. Righton man...righton.

The plot: Good Samaritan, Hershell, helps a Christian motorist, Angel, along the Florida turnpike, which starts a chain reaction that leads him to a near-geriatric druggie party. Here he beds Angel's sister, Anne, who helps land him a job at the local turkey farm. At said turkey farm, he meets a couple of obviously over-qualified scientists who offer him some weed and genetically altered turkey.

Said genetically modified turkey turns our hero, Hershell, into a ravenous drug-addicted were-turkey who hunts and kills other drug addicts to get his fix. The multiple levels of subtext in these scenes will keep film buffs and critics debating for years to come!

He confronts and beds Anne again (in full on were-turkey mode with excellent sound clips of "gobble-gobble") for the most sensual love-making scene ever printed to film since Samurai Cop. Then he goes out again to rid the world of those gosh-darned drug-addicted hippies!

In the climactic finale, Hershell beats his lycanthropy in the most epic of fashions: he drops to his knees and prays to Jesus to forgive him and he is saved! Then there is the mother of all plot twists: it was all a hallucination from Hershell eating genetically modified turkey!  With the irony meter turned up to 11, the film closes with a Thanksgiving dinner with everyone ripping into their turkey dinner!

This is an often overlooked holiday classic that should be playing on all stations during the Thanksgiving weekend. The lessons of this movie are rock solid: stay away from drugs, don't eat genetically modified food, and for god's sake, praise Jesus if you find yourself with a case of lycanthropy.

Can't wait for the sequel!


 68 
 on: August 25, 2016, 04:44:08 AM 
Started by dean - Last post by dean

I don't mean bad fun bad, but wrecked terrible nonsense of a film that nobody likes. Think the worst of Michael Bay. Think movies that are meant to be good, they have great cast, maybe even a great budget, but that just doesn't stop them from generally being labelled a disappointing flop. Now that you've thought of the worst dreck imaginable, defend it! Pitch your case.

The rules of the game:

Make your case, find the good in these awful piles of rubbish. Feel free to retort to the one/ones above you in your defence. Just know that in Bad Movie Defense, we're all losers from having to watch these things and thus no winners shall be assigned.

Something low key to start with:

Gigli has it all. All star cast of award winners inc Pacino and Walken.

The plot is amazingly nuanced: Gigli (Ben Affleck) is a low-ranking Los Angeles mobster and slight misogynist who isn't nearly as tough as he likes to act.

He is commanded to kidnap the mentally challenged younger brother Brian of a powerful federal prosecutor to save New York-based mob boss Starkman from prison whilst paired up with a hard nosed lesbian fixer Ricki (J-Lo).

All of the characters are transformed by the end. Louis's mob is disrupted, Gigli has dropped his hyper-masculine facade to show he has a heart of gold, Ricki has a heterosexual fling with Gigli (that's right Affleck is so good here he turns a lesbian), and Brian gradually emerges from his shell, noticing other people and being... less mentally challenged? So many twists, so much witty banter it'll make your head spin. Plus the chemistry between the two leads is so real you can totally tell they weren't far from breaking up. It's basically holding a mirror to our obession with celebrities and their love lives.

It's no surprise that Martin Brest the director never made a film again; how can you top perfection??

 69 
 on: August 25, 2016, 04:30:12 AM 
Started by Ash - Last post by dean

Gigli

 70 
 on: August 25, 2016, 04:16:29 AM 
Started by Trevor - Last post by Trevor
It happened again this morning: this time with negatives. Odd.  Question

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Lesson Learned:
  • Osmosis: os·mo·sis (oz-mo'sis, os-) n., 1. When a bird eats something.

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