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Wow... that stinks.

[Dune (1984)]

Movie fans like myself prefer a finished product to critique over some documentary about a movie that was never made. If they had put as much time, effort, and money into their version of the movie that they never made instead of a silly-sounding documentary like this one, the results would have been far more satisfying for them, I believe. Heck, they could have easily utilized YouTube and some computer-based digital filming to pull it off; everybody is releasing movies on YouTube these days.

I liked the David Lynch versions of Dune (1984), warts and all. 

BEST STORY EVER: Jackie Chan Picks A Fight With Bruce Lee... And Loses

he's busy with his other site goodmovies.com

Ouch.

A 38-year-old Scottish woman walked around for ten years with a sex toy up her vagina --  and she had no idea.

According to the Journal of Sexual Medicine, the woman went to the hospital complaining of severe weight loss, shaking, lethargy and mild incontinence lasting for "a few weeks". Doctors then took an X-ray, revealing a foreign body pushing into the bladder from the vagina. When surgeons went in to operate, they removed a 5-inch sex toy.

That's when the woman recalled a drunken night a decade ago with a partner, when she used that damn thing and couldn't remember whether or not she had taken it out.

I knew something like this would happen. I just knew this would happen, when you stop changing your underwear every day. The odor from the unchanged underwear fries your brain.

That's about when you go and buy some fine Italian undergarments.....

Talk about bad hair days;

JULY 23--Incensed over an allegedly botched hairdo, a New York City woman tore up a Manhattan salon, throwing chairs, hair dryers, and assorted beauty products in a rampage that ended with her in handcuffs, according to investigators.

Rachel Meyers, 26, was arrested last Friday afternoon following the ruckus at the Century 27 Beauty Salon on Beaver Street in the financial district.

Meyers, a Manhattan resident, was charged with five misdemeanors, including assault, harassment, and criminal possession of a weapon.

During her meltdown, Meyers threw a curling iron stand at another patron, according to a criminal complaint sworn by Officer Robert Rastetter. The stand struck the 52-year-old victim, “causing a laceration, bruising, and substantial pain in her knee,” Rastetter noted.

I just watched the preview, but that doesn't appear to be it either. For some reason, I remember teenagers being involved in the plot of this film. Teenagers or young adults, though I can't tell you if they were the protagonists or not. I'm still looking too, so I will let you know if I find anything! 

[Attack of the Monsters (1969)]

Had some fun watching Gamera this afternoon...

Attack of the Monsters (1969): A trio of children (2 boys and a girl), intrigued by news reports of mysterious sound waves sent to Earth from outer space, star gazing spot a flying saucer!  They later discover it and and the two boys decide to investigate within while the girl being more wary decides to wait outside. After entering the spaceship however, the two boys suddenly find themselves unexpectedly whisked off into space. Along the way they spot and greet Gamera who tries to prevent the ship from leaving our galaxy but even he cannot keep up with its incredible speed. After the ship lands, the two boys find themselves on a strange new planet and suddenly spot another version of Gaos in battle with the planet’s guardian, a knife-headed monster with a mean streak named Guiron. Gamera all this time has still been on the trail of the boys’ spaceship. Meanwhile, aliens are watching these events unfold with possible evil intentions?

This was tremendous fun. The little kid in me loved every minute of it. Sure the kids are a bit annoying at times (but moreso I suspect to adult ears than to a child’s) and the effects aren't always up to par but man do the monster battles ever deliver the goods in this one. They are knock-down drag-out affairs especially those featuring Gamera and Guiron and surprisingly graphic in terms of their brutality yet the film never loses sight of making clear just who is evil and who is good. Like the best pro wrestling of yesteryear, it manages to make the hero Gamera incredibly sympathetic while the villain Guiron comes across as little more than a nasty-tempered brute and a bully who needs to be taught a lesson in manners. There's even a good message as to what the kids think might make the world a better place. Great escapist fun that should appeal to kids (if it is a little graphic and gory at times). ***1/2 out of ***** stars.

Gammera the Invincible (1966): Awakened after millions of years frozen in Arctic ice, a giant flying, fire-breathing turtle monster named Gammera goes on a rampage eating up fire and other energy sources and threatening all civilization. Can the nations of the world actually ban together and execute a plan to stop him?

Well when it's Gammera and monster stomping on screen, this movie is enjoyable enough and even adds an element of intrigue given young boy Toshio's obsession with Gammera and all turtles and who comes to believe Gammera is his friend despite Gammera destroying pretty much everything in sight as he attacks Tokyo. There are way too many added, padded scenes in this Americanized version from Sandy Frank of the authorities talking and discussing, and talking and discussing some more their plans behind desks which really drags this movie down and badly slows down the action and pace of the film. Brian Donlevy's appearance here as General Arnold is embarrassingly bad when it's not downright dull. The original Japanese cast fare much better although I did get a laugh out of the talk show showdown between "scientific experts". The Gammera stuff is fun, the rest is pretty dull and dry. *** out of **** stars.