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January 29, 2015, 03:24:08 AM
542387 Posts in 41121 Topics by 5198 Members
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Badmovies.org Forum  |  Movies  |  Bad Movies  |  GNOME ALONE (2015) « previous next »
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Author Topic: GNOME ALONE (2015)  (Read 169 times)
indianasmith
Archeologist, Theologian, Elder Scrolls Addict, and a
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
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Karma: 1439
Posts: 8509


A good bad movie is like popcorn for the soul!


« on: January 22, 2015, 06:59:30 PM »

Movies like this are the reason this board exists.  What a hilarious slice of B-movie cheese this impulse rental turned out to be.

Here's a synopsis:

A thousand years ago, a leprechaun developed the hots for a powerful sorceress.  She let him bed her, then stole his gold.
In revenge, he had her kidnapped by some weird cultists and branded with the mark of the devil, making her a target to all who saw her.
Not to be outdone, she goes to the swamp and conjures up lesbian mud witches to give life to a little gnome statue, which becomes
her companion and protector from that day forward.  When she dies, she passes the mark - and her immortal gnome bodyguard - to her
daughter, who passes it to someone else, and so on, and so on . . .

Fast forward to present day. Zoe is a college freshman with an ailing, alcoholic, drug-addicted mother and a creepy, way-too-clingy stepfather.
She's taking a psychology class with an over-aggressive lesbian professor (a recurring theme in this movie), her platonic boyfriend, and some
idiot fratsters who are obviously gonna be gnome fodder.  Zoe works as a clerk at a convenience store, and befriends an old homeless woman
who comes in every day and chats with her.

But when the homeless woman is killed in a hit and run by a frat boy, she manages before she dies to pass on the one thing she has that is precious
to her - her birthmark and her thousand year old gnome bodyguard.  Said gnome takes Zoe's grumbled complaints about her professor and the fratsters
way too seriously, and the carnage begins.

Absolutely no CGI in this gut-ripping gnome attack epic, with blood, intestines, and lesbian dismemberment to spare!  And I won't even tell you what
happens to Daddy Creeper - this movie was a riot!
Logged

"Carpe diem!" - Seize the day!  "Carpe per diem!" - Seize the daily living allowance! "Carpe carp!" - Seize the fish!
"Carpe Ngo Diem!" - Seize the South Vietnamese Dictator!
Ted C
Bad Movie Lover
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Karma: 28
Posts: 323


Turn Up the Evil!


« Reply #1 on: January 23, 2015, 10:12:15 AM »

No reason not to include the trailer.
Small | Large
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"Slugs?  He created slugs? I would have started with lasers, six o'clock, day one!" -- Evil, Time Bandits
Jack
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
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Karma: 1085
Posts: 9832



« Reply #2 on: January 23, 2015, 10:28:49 AM »

I must see this!   BounceGiggle
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I know that I am stupid but when I look around me I feel a lot better.
indianasmith
Archeologist, Theologian, Elder Scrolls Addict, and a
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
****

Karma: 1439
Posts: 8509


A good bad movie is like popcorn for the soul!


« Reply #3 on: January 23, 2015, 09:58:59 PM »

I thought the lesbian mud witches would get your attention, Jack!
Logged

"Carpe diem!" - Seize the day!  "Carpe per diem!" - Seize the daily living allowance! "Carpe carp!" - Seize the fish!
"Carpe Ngo Diem!" - Seize the South Vietnamese Dictator!
Jack
Frightening Fanatic of Horrible Cinema
****

Karma: 1085
Posts: 9832



« Reply #4 on: January 24, 2015, 07:39:16 AM »

I thought the lesbian mud witches would get your attention, Jack!

It's like a dream come true  TeddyR
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I know that I am stupid but when I look around me I feel a lot better.
JoeTheDestroyer
Random Text Crapper
Bad Movie Lover
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Karma: 37
Posts: 316



« Reply #5 on: January 26, 2015, 06:12:22 AM »

I'm sold.  Cheers
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