Two Truths and a Lie

[indianasmith]

1.  I was once asked to resign as pastor of a church, because I was "too disconnected from the congregation."
2.  While in Israel last year, I saw a huge, bloated dead camel beside the road.  I think he'd been hit by a truck.
3.  One day last year I put on my boot without shaking it out first and got stung by a scorpion.

You should've saved number 3 for wintertime, 'cause your pants is on firrre!

You got it!

[indianasmith]

Let's kick it up a notch and raise the odds. One of these is a lie, the rest are true. And for the record, I am just about out of interesting truths after this, so if my truths in future start being, like, "Um, I own two dogs" that'll be why.


1. When I was sixteen I said the eff-word in front of my mother for the first time, and I was saying it at her.

2. As a minor I used to sometimes steal library books, read them, and smuggle them back in a timely manner, because much of what I wanted to read fell under the "18 and up" restrictions our sub-fascist local government imposed on the library system.

3. Last week we were notified we had made $20,000.00 in purchases on our Kroger Plus Card, and were given some nice personalized coupons, and a dollar off gasoline at any Kroger Fuel Center.

4. I once saw someone tear another person's middle fingernail off with a pair of pliers. Unlike what they show on TV, it involved a rolling motion rather than a straightforward pluck.

5. At a charity fundraiser at a golf course during the 1989 ATP tournament, one of the players hit on my mother (who was in her twenties then and looked younger than she was). Three years later I was watching Wimbledon on TV and she said, "Hey, that's the one I told you about." And it was Andre Agassi, all dressed in white, playing for the championship.

Let's see - all of these have some degree of possibility, but I think I am going to call . . . heck, it is 4 or 5.  Gonna go with 5, I think.

[Paquita]

Let's kick it up a notch and raise the odds. One of these is a lie, the rest are true. And for the record, I am just about out of interesting truths after this, so if my truths in future start being, like, "Um, I own two dogs" that'll be why.


1. When I was sixteen I said the eff-word in front of my mother for the first time, and I was saying it at her.

2. As a minor I used to sometimes steal library books, read them, and smuggle them back in a timely manner, because much of what I wanted to read fell under the "18 and up" restrictions our sub-fascist local government imposed on the library system.

3. Last week we were notified we had made $20,000.00 in purchases on our Kroger Plus Card, and were given some nice personalized coupons, and a dollar off gasoline at any Kroger Fuel Center.

4. I once saw someone tear another person's middle fingernail off with a pair of pliers. Unlike what they show on TV, it involved a rolling motion rather than a straightforward pluck.

5. At a charity fundraiser at a golf course during the 1989 ATP tournament, one of the players hit on my mother (who was in her twenties then and looked younger than she was). Three years later I was watching Wimbledon on TV and she said, "Hey, that's the one I told you about." And it was Andre Agassi, all dressed in white, playing for the championship.

Let's see - all of these have some degree of possibility, but I think I am going to call . . . heck, it is 4 or 5.  Gonna go with 5, I think.

No way - it's gotta be # 1!  Who says the eff to their mom and lives to tell the tale?

[El Misfit]

Let's kick it up a notch and raise the odds. One of these is a lie, the rest are true. And for the record, I am just about out of interesting truths after this, so if my truths in future start being, like, "Um, I own two dogs" that'll be why.


1. When I was sixteen I said the eff-word in front of my mother for the first time, and I was saying it at her.

2. As a minor I used to sometimes steal library books, read them, and smuggle them back in a timely manner, because much of what I wanted to read fell under the "18 and up" restrictions our sub-fascist local government imposed on the library system.

3. Last week we were notified we had made $20,000.00 in purchases on our Kroger Plus Card, and were given some nice personalized coupons, and a dollar off gasoline at any Kroger Fuel Center.

4. I once saw someone tear another person's middle fingernail off with a pair of pliers. Unlike what they show on TV, it involved a rolling motion rather than a straightforward pluck.

5. At a charity fundraiser at a golf course during the 1989 ATP tournament, one of the players hit on my mother (who was in her twenties then and looked younger than she was). Three years later I was watching Wimbledon on TV and she said, "Hey, that's the one I told you about." And it was Andre Agassi, all dressed in white, playing for the championship.

Let's see - all of these have some degree of possibility, but I think I am going to call . . . heck, it is 4 or 5.  Gonna go with 5, I think.

No way - it's gotta be # 1!  Who says the eff to their mom and lives to tell the tale?

My sister, the same one who threw a phone at me.

[ER]

Let's kick it up a notch and raise the odds. One of these is a lie, the rest are true. And for the record, I am just about out of interesting truths after this, so if my truths in future start being, like, "Um, I own two dogs" that'll be why.


1. When I was sixteen I said the eff-word in front of my mother for the first time, and I was saying it at her.

2. As a minor I used to sometimes steal library books, read them, and smuggle them back in a timely manner, because much of what I wanted to read fell under the "18 and up" restrictions our sub-fascist local government imposed on the library system.

3. Last week we were notified we had made $20,000.00 in purchases on our Kroger Plus Card, and were given some nice personalized coupons, and a dollar off gasoline at any Kroger Fuel Center.

4. I once saw someone tear another person's middle fingernail off with a pair of pliers. Unlike what they show on TV, it involved a rolling motion rather than a straightforward pluck.

5. At a charity fundraiser at a golf course during the 1989 ATP tournament, one of the players hit on my mother (who was in her twenties then and looked younger than she was). Three years later I was watching Wimbledon on TV and she said, "Hey, that's the one I told you about." And it was Andre Agassi, all dressed in white, playing for the championship.

Let's see - all of these have some degree of possibility, but I think I am going to call . . . heck, it is 4 or 5.  Gonna go with 5, I think.

Nope!

[ER]

Let's kick it up a notch and raise the odds. One of these is a lie, the rest are true. And for the record, I am just about out of interesting truths after this, so if my truths in future start being, like, "Um, I own two dogs" that'll be why.


1. When I was sixteen I said the eff-word in front of my mother for the first time, and I was saying it at her.

2. As a minor I used to sometimes steal library books, read them, and smuggle them back in a timely manner, because much of what I wanted to read fell under the "18 and up" restrictions our sub-fascist local government imposed on the library system.

3. Last week we were notified we had made $20,000.00 in purchases on our Kroger Plus Card, and were given some nice personalized coupons, and a dollar off gasoline at any Kroger Fuel Center.

4. I once saw someone tear another person's middle fingernail off with a pair of pliers. Unlike what they show on TV, it involved a rolling motion rather than a straightforward pluck.

5. At a charity fundraiser at a golf course during the 1989 ATP tournament, one of the players hit on my mother (who was in her twenties then and looked younger than she was). Three years later I was watching Wimbledon on TV and she said, "Hey, that's the one I told you about." And it was Andre Agassi, all dressed in white, playing for the championship.

Let's see - all of these have some degree of possibility, but I think I am going to call . . . heck, it is 4 or 5.  Gonna go with 5, I think.

No way - it's gotta be # 1!  Who says the eff to their mom and lives to tell the tale?

No, ma'am!

[indianasmith]

Is it 4, then?

[ER]

Is it 4, then?

It is not.

[indianasmith]

Has to be 3 then - the Kroger story.

[ER]

Has to be 3 then - the Kroger story.

You know it!

[bob]

1 In college when I was involved with the radio station on campus I walked in on two people getting it on atop the only sofa on station.

2 For the most part I've never left a place I worked on good terms for various reasons.

3 When I was at a friends high school graduation party a classmate of mine, who was seeing a classmate of mine walked up to me arriving and said "All guys masterbate."

[Trevor]

1 In college when I was involved with the radio station on campus I walked in on two people getting it on atop the only sofa on station.

2 For the most part I've never left a place I worked on good terms for various reasons.

3 When I was at a friends high school graduation party a classmate of mine, who was seeing a classmate of mine walked up to me arriving and said "All guys masterbate."

I was tempted to say 1 but I'm going with 3. 

[ER]

1. My confirmation name is Maeve, which is a Latinized spelling of Maeb, who was a legendary figure from Irish mythology, retroactively turned into a saint.

2. Eighteen summers ago I went on a weekend-long hunger strike that was being undertaken at universities around the country to protest the unequal availability of food in the world.

3. I have knowingly slept in a bed in which someone died.

[bob]

1 In college when I was involved with the radio station on campus I walked in on two people getting it on atop the only sofa on station.

2 For the most part I've never left a place I worked on good terms for various reasons.

3 When I was at a friends high school graduation party a classmate of mine, who was seeing a classmate of mine walked up to me arriving and said "All guys masterbate."

I was tempted to say 1 but I'm going with 3. 

surprisingly enough that actually happened

had the girl in question not been seeing someone at the time I'm pretty sure based on what she said I could've/would've boinked
her that night

[indianasmith]

1. My confirmation name is Maeve, which is a Latinized spelling of Maeb, who was a legendary figure from Irish mythology, retroactively turned into a saint.

2. Eighteen summers ago I went on a weekend-long hunger strike that was being undertaken at universities around the country to protest the unequal availability of food in the world.

3. I have knowingly slept in a bed in which someone died.

I think #2, because you don't like silly, meaningless activisim.