Alex's even longer post thread.

[Alex]

I was chatting with a friend earlier tonight. She told me that I was possibly the most intelligent person she knew and commented that I often hid it. Not that I agree with her, but I replied that the best thing someone who is smarter than all the people around them can do is let none of them know it.

Got an odd feeling running really strong right now that something very bad is about to happen. I've had it to varying degrees for the past 5 or 6 years, but right now it is burning hot. I am going to put it down to anxiety rather than precognition though. Mind you, I could very well be creating my own bad situation. For the past six weeks, I've been very erratic in taking my meds and tracking my bloods. I guess if I felt anything less than 100% it might be easier to accept whatever diagnosis they gave me.  I keep promising myself that tomorrow I'll start following the regime more, take everything but when tomorrow comes yet again I can't be bothered with this s**t and I do things my own way.

This summer I've been thinking about confronting an old grudge. It is something that has came close several times over the past twenty years of resurfacing. Not dealing with it over the past few years has been a continual class of schedules where things have been missed or conflicted by a matter of days. Six years of missing each other by less than a week. It does mean travelling to my least favourite city in the world and all the problems that could be resolved are other peoples rather than mine so I could just stand back and watch. Do nothing.

Ever had a hero? Some figure that you've idolized. Have they let you down? If so, do they owe you something or is it your own damn fault for putting someone on a pedestal, putting them in a position that they couldn't possibly live up to?

I guess it would be more suitable if all these things were in some way connected, but they aren't. At least not directly.

[Alex]

Another middle of the night and all is quiet. They were doing some exercises earlier on today, but none of it touches us on the night shift. The next two nights I'll be working in my favourite place. Last week I did a D&D session while at work. Not something I ever thought would happen. My first Call of Cthulhu session in many years will be taking place on Sunday and we will be hosting it at our house, which will make a welcome change from playing online.

I am giving serious thought to not running any more online games (although I'll still play them) if I can get in person ones going. That is a hope for the future though and I'll have to see how things go.

After I'd finished last week, I debombed (removed the ammunition from my magazines). I couldn't be bothered unlocking my locker to put the mags back there, so I just put them in my pocket and went home with them. They are my personal issue ones and where I store them isn't a problem, just as long as I don't lose them. Even then, they aren't exactly difficult to replace. Anyway, Kristi was somewhat shocked when she saw them sitting on my desk. I found it vaguely amusing that someone from the US would react that way. This from the woman who was freaked when she saw unarmed police officers (to the point where I'd to take her to an airport so she could see police officers with weapons).

Just had a phone call while I was typing the above. Some guy was phoning to report a glowing green light in the sky. I told him it isn't something we deal with. He kept giving me details and I kept saying "That isn't something we deal with" and he kept trying to give me more information. Eventually I interupted him to say "Look you can keep telling me, but you are wasting your time. I am really not interested and this isn't what we deal with." At that point he put the phone down. I mean if he's seen a flying saucer then great for him, but unless they are trying to get in through the front door without a pass I don't care.

Maybe I should have told him we'd had several reports and in each case the spotters had then reported that they'd been abducted and anally probed, so if that wasn't something he was into then he should run and take cover, especially since the aliens apparently had no concept of lube.

It isn't that I do or don't believe in the possibility of alien life, or that I wouldn't be incredibly interested to find out more about them, its just if its not affecting my work then I don't care when I am on the clock. Right now though if any aliens were to land and ask to be taken to our leaders I'd have to ask them if there wasn't someone else they'd rather chat to. The western world seems to have taken a dip into electing unqualified idiots this centuary. I can't think of one seriously competant western leader in all that time.