Recent Viewings, Part 2

[indianasmith]

AMISTAD (1997) - I watch this classic every year with my U.S. History class (skipping the sequences aboard the slave ship where the Africans were all forced to go nude), and every time I watch it I am more impressed with the brilliant casting and stellar performances.  5/5
WE FOUND SOMETHING (2022) - A very slow-starting found footage film - a brother and sister discover a strange creature living in the woods, antagonize it, and it chases them around in the dark before they finally meet a terrible fate.  This movie tried, but it was just too slow and the creature effects were REALLY bad. With a bit bigger budget and better screenwriting, it could have been so much better.  Bless their hearts, they tried. 2/5

[lester1/2jr]

An American Satan (2019) - This is a documentary about the Church of Satan. One point it makes is that Anton Lavey was the west coast version of Andy Warhol, which seems like an accurate way of describing that whole thing. I was disappointed to learn they don't actually worship Satan. They say "Hail Satan" mainly to I guess produce a shocking sort of effect, but they are actually atheists. One guy leaves the church because he actually DOES worship some sort of Satanic diety. He's an interesting if a little peculiar dude who had horns grafted onto his forehead and, like a lot of people in this, makes dark sort of art.

They seem like Reason magazine type libertarians who are more creative than those people usually are. There's even one black guy.

4.5 /5 good balance of Lavey era and current stuff.

[Rev. Powell]

THE MADS ARE BACK: DIMENSION 5: In the movie, two secret agents fight the Red Chinese using their time-travel abilities (which really gives them a giant advantage and seems like cheating, but whatever). The guest is Tammy Golden, a writer for the new MST3K. (They will have anyone from MST3K on but Joel.) 3/5.

[FatFreddysCat]

"Coffy" (1973)
An ER nurse (Pam Grier) goes vigilante on the local dope pushers after her baby sister OD's and thugs put her nice-guy cop boyfriend in the hospital. She uses her... errr... let's say "natural charms" to infiltrate the gangsters' organization and take it apart from the inside.
Grier is fine as hell (and frequently nude) and the early-'70s fashions and decor are a scream in this stone cold blaxploitation classic.

"The Puppetoon Movie" (1987)
Gumby and Pokey introduce a series of  charming 1930s and '40s cartoon shorts by George Pal, a pioneer in the art of stop motion animation. Some of the shorts have aged better than others but on a technical/artistic level they're all quite fascinating to watch. Cool stuff for old cartoon buffs.

[M.10rda]

THE WEDDING VIDEO (2013):
Amidst back-to-back-to-back 60+ hour work weeks, this is the only movie I've had time to watch since late January. Thus I'm already breaking my NYR to post only about films I liked. Intended as Quality Time viewing w/ Madame 10rda, this is the third film I've watched w/ her in 2023 w/ "wedding" in the title, and also the worst. The first two were her selections; this one is entirely my fault. As mentioned in a previous review, we are both Matt Berry megafans. Alas, as with many celebrities who only broke through to notoriety following many years of laboring in thankless small credits, Matt Berry is tragically underutilized in THE WEDDING VIDEO, fourth-billed but only onscreen for possibly ten total minutes throughout. Ugh...

A fake documentary that consistently violates its own fundamental logic, the titular video is recorded by "Raif Moyle", a schlubby soon-to-be-Best Man in his brother's wedding. Raif and the Bride-to-be fall in love (which happens w/ surprising frequency in the kinds of films my own bride watches) and predictable sub-wackiness ensues. In order for Raif to appear on camera, he soon enlists stoner musician buddy Rog (Berry) to film the unlikely proceedings. Berry ducks in occasionally to smoke, drink, and sing a (very good) love song that he actually composed, but mostly is offscreen/behind-the-camera, and sadly silent.

There are some real laughs here, but you generally have to wait 15+ minutes between them during lame and earnest stretches. The cast features a handful of likeable British actresses who you might recognize from other stuff, and the actor who plays the Groom is agreeably schmucky. Unfortunately, the lead actor (playing Raif) is an utter drip - unfunny, not charismatic, and (according to Madame) not an appealing romantic lead. All of the film's additional shortcomings (like its preposterous ending) would have been solved automatically had the filmmakers just cast Berry as Raif instead of as Rog. Sure, Raif often behaves in ways that are moronic, unsympathetic, or crass... but "moronic", "unsympathetic", and "crass" are all well-within Berry's repertoire, and somehow he always remains compelling with his dulcet tones and offbeat deliveries. Ninety straight minutes of Matt Berry is its own excuse, really.

2.5/5
After this we tapped out of trying our luck on another movie, watched a couple episodes of "Impractical Jokers", and went to bed.

[FatFreddysCat]

"The Truman Show" (1998)
Jim Carrey stars as "Truman," a good natured, working class fellow who slowly begins to realize that his entire life is part of a tightly controlled reality TV show that's being broadcast to the entire world. The "Twilight Zone" worthy premise and a surprisingly deep performance by Carrey makes this comedy/drama one of Carrey's best films and proved that he could actually act, not just "act funny."

[RCMerchant]

^ You don't see Jim Carrey anymore....

[Rev. Powell]

NOCEBO (2022): Live-in maid Diana arrives from the Philippines and quickly begins performing folk-medicine cures on sickly fashion designer Christine, but her husband worries that the witchy newcomer is exerting undue influence over his vulnerable wife. Well-written, well-acted folk horror with some nicely done bits, but it doesn't quite deliver the shocks or surprises of director Lorcan Finnergan/writer Garret Shanley's previous collaboration, VIVARIUM. 3/5.

[Dr. Whom]

The Sea Beast (2022)

In a world where fierce sea monsters roam the ocean, shipping is kept safe by the Hunters. Maisie, an orphan from a Hunter family, escapes the orphanage to stow away on the ship on the most famous Hunter captain, to discover that reality is not quite as the legends told her.

This is very much a take on Moby Dick, with the esthetic of Pirates of the Caribbean. It didn't really work for me, partly because the pirate esthetic does nothing for me. Lovers of sea shanties may disagree.
More importantly, for the story to have its full impact, it needs to be a darker movie, one in which loss and suffering is more palpable. As it is, someone clearly decided to make it kid friendly, with cartoonish action and cute monsters. This undercuts the main theme of the story.

Still, watchable enough.

[lester1/2jr]

The Thief of Baghdad (1940) - When I was a kid I was blown away by the 1924 version, but this was good too.

Big budget British fantasy movie based on Arabian Nights/ Aladdin type stuff. The core of it is a love story between a dethroned king and a slave girl, but the Indian actor Sabu carries a big part of the story. Very cool visual effects, big genies and like toys that are actually actors dressed like the toy are the hook. The storytelling itself isn't super duper suspenseful and exciting, but it's solid. The Sabu parts I preferred to the less fun main actor guy.

I didn't know what I was in the mood for and I'm glad this was available on tubi because it really hit the spot.



4.5 / 5

[Rev. Powell]

MST3K: COLOSSUS AND THE HEADHUNTERS: The movie is a Hercules knockoff starring Maciste ("cheesesteak"); the Mads breed the cutest pet of all time, Nummy Muffin Cocool Butter, and Frank falls for it hard. Catching up on the few episodes I'd never seen before, I'd say this one is middle-of-the-pack: "meh" movie, good (but not outstanding) riffing, and a memorable ongoing host segment with Nummy Muffin highlighted by Frank's ridiculous song. 3.5/5.

[indianasmith]

HELL COMES TO FROGTOWN (1988) - HOW have I never seen this before?  Pure bad movie gold!!! Just . . . amazing!  5/5

[Alex]

HELL COMES TO FROGTOWN (1988) - HOW have I never seen this before?  Pure bad movie gold!!! Just . . . amazing!  5/5

There are two sequels (well might be more, but that is the ones I am aware of). I'd avoid them though.

[Dr. Whom]

Unicorn Wars (2022)

This is a Franco-Spanish animated feature. The teddy bears, who live in a kind of military dictatorship, wage a holy war against the unicorns for possession of the enchanted forest. We follow two young recruits, the brothers Tubby, who is friendly and optimistic, and Bluey, who is a cruel and manipulative psychopath. Bluey dreams about becoming the saviour of the teddy bear race by drinking the blood of the last unicorn. Then they are sent into the forest on a mission.

Described by the producer as equal parts Apocalypse Now, Bambi and the Old Testament, this is absolutely, positively NOT a movie for children. Not only are the themes and characters pretty grim and cynical, there is also lots of graphic violence with teddy bears and unicorns coming to gruesome ends. It is to Care Bears what Meet the Feebles is to the Muppets. It is also bound to offend Christians.

It lacks a bit of narrative drive, with events just happening one after the other, but the end ties it all together. If you like nihilistic movies with buckets of blood, this is a must see. Reverend, if you haven't seen it already, track it down.

[Alex]

Polar.

The worst hit squad in the history of moviedom attempts to take down John Wic... Mads Mikkelsen. For an elite team of assassins these guys sure don't act like it. Hell, I am pretty sure I could take out all 5 of them with a pen knife. Mads is a master assassin about to enter enforced retirement and the others are out to kill him so his employer doesn't have to pay out his pension. Anyway, the hit team all have very distinctive appearances, make no attempt to disguise their identities and leave vast amounts of evidence behind that would quite quickly see them found out.

Seriously, these guys are so terrible they could be Russian intelligence.