OK, rules first!
1. This is NOT personal. It's not a place to start a flame war with a member you don't like; it's a place to post fun, creative put-downs to each other with karma points going to the most clever/original/amusing jabs or exchanges.
2. Anybody can string together a bunch of obscenities; let's keep it PG or so and be creative instead of obscene. No f-bombs or words you can't say on network television (although George Carlin's list of "7 Words You Can't Say on TV" is down to only 2 or 3 now).
3. Extra points for good alliteration ("You moldy mass of malodorous monkey manure!")
4. Have fun . . . you insufferable douche nuggets! :teddyr:
TRUMP SUPPORTER!!!
That's about as insulting as I can imagine.
Quote from: Svengoolie 3 on September 16, 2018, 11:08:50 PM
TRUMP SUPPORTER!!!
That's about as insulting as I can imagine.
Indy may be a
BONEHEAD but he is
NO Trump supporter. Pardon me if you know that. :thumbup:
Quote from: Allhallowsday on September 17, 2018, 12:28:01 AM
Quote from: Svengoolie 3 on September 16, 2018, 11:08:50 PM
TRUMP SUPPORTER!!!
That's about as insulting as I can imagine.
Indy may be a BONEHEAD but he is NO Trump supporter. Pardon me if you know that. :thumbup:
I was making an unaimed insult. I knew he opposed the POtuS, he had said so. I was making an insult that was not aimed at any individual but just an insult to post an insult, as the thread seems to call for, it was not an attack on anyone here, hjust as i'm not attackibg you as ler tbe thread rules.
Since Indy is something of a scholar, I hope you appreciate this one...
Pessime et nequissime!
Good one . . . you impertinent underwear sniffer!!!
(Sven - to keep it light we might want to shy away from political insults, just sayin' - you ignorant insect eater!)
Quote from: Allhallowsday on September 17, 2018, 12:28:01 AM
Quote from: Svengoolie 3 on September 16, 2018, 11:08:50 PM
TRUMP SUPPORTER!!!
That's about as insulting as I can imagine.
Indy may be a BONEHEAD but he is NO Trump supporter. Pardon me if you know that. :thumbup:
Thank you, you dimwitted Wonka wannabe!!!
You are the only person I have ever met who could remake Boxing Helena and make it less interesting.
You are all off brand waffles from a third world country.
Oh, I'd suggest possibly adding a rule that anyone who doesn't post on this thread doesn't get any insults directed at them, but if you post here then all is fair in love or war.
Of course if you weren't an insufferable illiterate immodest ignoramus you'd have thought that one up by yourself.
That goes without saying, you pustulent protuberance from a porcupine's prostate!!
Don't try and steal my idea and claim it for your own you beastly bible bashing bottom burper!
Substitute math teacher!
Babbling bilious bonehead booby bastard...
Syphilitic abortion from a Neanderthal orgy!!
Me: the African hoarder of sufficiently stained pre-used cut price undies :tongueout: :wink:
Quote from: indianasmith on September 19, 2018, 04:55:45 PM
Substitute math teacher!
Me love you long time. Yellow green n' blue.
Come on, hippy! This is an insult thread! Take that "peace, love, dope" stuff down the road. :teddyr: :teddyr: :teddyr:
Dirty dumbfounded dopey dilettante dipsh!t.
So when exactly did Gene Wilder play the Mad Hatter?
SCOTCH BOTCH CROTCH. :teddyr: ("Scottish" you plonker!)
Overweight middle school gym teacher!!
Silly sodden sycophant!
Yer so ugly your Mom had to tie a pork chop around your neck to get the dog to play with you! :teddyr:
Indy's tales of arrowhead hunting is so long that even Methuselah keeled over from old age.
When they passed out the brains you thought they said trains and said "Give me a nice slow one!"
If you had any brains you'd take them out and roll them like dice!
If you had any brains you would be dangerous!
The only reason I know you don't have half a brain is because you'd walk lopsided if you did.
And if brains were TNT, you couldn't blow your own nose!
If you had any brains you would fry them up with eggs.
When God was passing out brains you thought he said "rain" and you opened up an umbrella.
I've sneezed out more brain cells than you used typing that post!!! :bouncegiggle: :twirl: :twirl: :twirl:
With my luck, if it was raining palaces, I'd get hit by a toilet door. :wink:
Your underpants made JOURNEY stop believing. :bouncegiggle:
That one wins the internet today Indy. Which wit did you steal it from?
Quote from: indianasmith on September 22, 2018, 09:09:08 PM
Your underpants made JOURNEY stop believing. :bouncegiggle:
LOL :teddyr:
Quote from: Dark Alex on September 23, 2018, 03:21:11 AM
That one wins the internet today Indy. Which wit did you steal it from?
I think I saw it on one of those "Chuck Norris Facts" memes and adapted it.
You are what happens when your family tree is a straight line.
You stale end of piece of white bread
I guess you've been swimming in the shallow end of the gene pool huh?
Insult Dad heard on the army shooting range: "s**t: you couldn't hit a cow's arse with a banjo!" :teddyr:
You're dumber than a bag of hammers and ugly enough to make a freight train take a dirt road!!
You so ugly it hurts my feelings.
Get over it, you pea-brained nit on a gnat's knuckle!! :teddyr:
You so fat you exert gravitational force.
You have the compassion of a shark and the spine of a jellyfish.
You, sir, are as efficient as the Department of Motor Vehicles and as compassionate as the IRS!! (That one probably holds more meaning for Americans)
A half-wit gave you a piece of his mind, and you held on to it.
You, sir, are ugly enough to make Roseanne Barr look sexy!
You are one to talk. You know how they say someone fell out the ugly tree? You, sir, not only fell out the ugly tree, you hit every branch on the way down, smashing into the ugly ground at the bottom, then the ugly tree fell over and landed on top of you, shortly before a landslide caused the ugly mountain the tree was atop to collapse, burying you beneath tree and mountain both!
Hey, can we issues challenges to duels on this thread too?
This, from some long-forgotten forum I inhabited years ago.
"You swine. You vulgar little maggot. You worthless bag of filth. I'll bet
you couldn't pour p**s out of a boot with instructions on the heel. You are
a canker. A sore that won't go away. I would rather kiss a lawyer than be
seen with you.
You're a putrescent mass, a walking vomit. You are a spineless little worm
deserving nothing but the profoundest contempt. You are a jerk, a cad, a
weasel. Your life is a monument to stupidity. You are a stench, a revulsion,
a big suck on a sour lemon.
You are a bleating foal, a curdled staggering mutant dwarf smeared richly
with the effluvia and offal accompanying your alleged birth into this world.
An insensate, blinking calf, meaningful to nobody, abandoned by the
puke-drooling, giggling beasts who sired you and then killed themselves in
recognition of what they had done.
I will never get over the embarrassment of belonging to the same species as
you. You are a monster, an ogre, a malformity. I barf at the very thought of
you. You have all the appeal of a paper cut. Lepers avoid you. You are vile,
worthless, less than nothing. You are a weed, a fungus, the dregs of this
earth. And did I mention you smell?
Try to edit your responses of unnecessary material before attempting to
impress us with your insight. The evidence that you are a nincompoop will
still be available to readers, but they will be able to access it more
rapidly. You snail-skulled little rabbit. Would that a hawk pick you up,
drive its beak into your brain, and upon finding it rancid set you loose to fly
briefly before spattering the ocean rocks with the frothy pink shame of your
ignoble blood. May you ckoke on the queasy, convulsing nausea of your own
trite, foolish beliefs.
You are weary, stale, flat and unprofitable. You are grimy, squalid, nasty
and profane. You are foul and disgusting. You're a fool, an ignoramus.
Monkeys look down on you. Even sheep won't have sex with you. You are
unreservedly pathetic, starved for attention, and lost in a land that
reality forgot.
And what meaning do you expect your delusionally self-important statements
of unknowing, inexperienced opinion to have with us? What fantasy do you
hold that you would believe that your tiny-fisted tantrums would have more
weight than that of a leprous desert rat, spinning rabidly in a circle,
waiting for the bite of the snake?
You are a waste of flesh. You have no rhythm. You are ridiculous and
obnoxious. You are the moral equivalent of a leech. You are a living
emptiness, a meaningless void. You are sour and senile. You are a disease,
you puerile one-handed slack-jawed drooling meatslapper.
On a good day you're a half-wit. You remind me of drool. You are deficient
in all that lends character. You have the personality of wallpaper. You are
dank and filthy. You are asinine and benighted. You are the source of all
unpleasantness. You spread misery and sorrow wherever you go. You smarmy
lagerlout git. You bloody woofter sod. Bugger off, pillock. You
grotty wanking oik artless base-court apple-john. You clouted boggish
foot-licking twit. You dankish clack-dish plonker. You gormless crook-pated
tosser. You churlish boil-brained clotpole ponce. You buggered bum-bailey
poofter. You craven dewberry p**shead f**kup pratting naff. You gob-kissing
gleeking flap-mouthed coxcomb. You dread-bolted fobbing beef-witted
clapper-clawed flirt-gill.
You are a fiend and a coward, and you have bad breath. You are degenerate,
noxious and depraved. I feel debased just for knowing you exist. I despise
everything about you, and I wish you would go away.
I cannot believe how incredibly stupid you are. I mean rock-hard stupid.
Dehydrated-rock-hard stupid. Stupid so stupid that it goes way beyond the
stupid we know into a whole different dimension of stupid. You are
trans-stupid stupid. Meta-stupid. Stupid collapsed on itself so far that
even the neutrons have collapsed. Stupid gotten so dense that no intellect
can escape. Singularity stupid. Blazing hot mid-day sun on Mercury stupid.
You emit more stupid in one second than our entire galaxy emits in a year.
Quasar stupid. Your writing has to be a troll. Nothing in our universe can
really be this stupid. Perhaps this is some primordial fragment from the
original big bang of stupid. Some pure essence of a stupid so uncontaminated
by anything else as to be beyond the laws of physics that we know. I'm
sorry. I can't go on. This is an epiphany of stupid for me. After this, you
may not hear from me again for a while. I don't have enough strength left to
deride your ignorant questions and half baked comments about unimportant
trivia, or any of the rest of this drivel. Duh.
The only thing worse than your logic is your manners. I have snipped away
most of your of what you wrote, because, well... it didn't really say
anything. Your attempt at constructing a creative flame was pitiful. I mean,
really, stringing together a bunch of insults among a load of babbling was
hardly effective... Maybe later in life, after you have learned to read,
write, spell, and count, you will have more success. True, these are
rudimentary skills that many of us "normal" people take for granted that
everyone has an easy time of mastering. But we sometimes forget that there
are "challenged" persons in this world who find these things more difficult.
If I had known, that this was your case then I would have never read your
post. It just wouldn't have been "right". Sort of like parking in a handicap
space. I wish you the best of luck in the emotional, and social struggles
that seem to be placing such a demand on you.
P.S. You are hypocritical, greedy, violent, malevolent, vengeful, cowardly,
deadly, mendacious, meretricious, loathsome, despicable, belligerent,
opportunistic, barratrous, contemptible, criminal, fascistic, bigoted,
racist, sexist, avaricious, tasteless, idiotic, brain-damaged, imbecilic,
insane, arrogant, deceitful, demented, lame, self-righteous, byzantine,
conspiratorial, satanic, fraudulent, libelous, bilious, splenetic,
spastic, ignorant, clueless, illegitimate, harmful, destructive, dumb,
evasive, double-talking, devious, revisionist, narrow, manipulative,
paternalistic, fundamentalist, dogmatic, idolatrous, unethical, cultic,
diseased, suppressive, controlling, restrictive, malignant, deceptive, dim,
crazy, weird, dystopic, stifling, uncaring, plantigrade, grim,
unsympathetic, jargon-spouting, censorious, secretive, aggressive,
mind-numbing, arassive, poisonous, flagrant, self-destructive, abusive,
socially-retarded, puerile, clueless, and generally Not Good. "
Zapranoth wins this exchange, this thread, and the internet for the remainder of the month.
I . . . am . . . speechless before such a magnificent onslaught of invective. BOW DOWN!!!
Quote from: indianasmith on October 10, 2018, 07:48:51 PM
Zapranoth wins this exchange, this thread, and the internet for the remainder of the month.
I . . . am . . . speechless before such a magnificent onslaught of invective. BOW DOWN!!!
Agreed. :thumbup:
To be fair, I did not compose that. I just read it once, and saved it because I was impressed, in an awful sort of way.
Thought I'd share. :)
It is majestic in its sheer venom!
Did you know that when I think about you I touch myself?
I quite often have to rub my temples because you keep giving me migraines!
Your face repels mosquitos!
Just as yours sirrah, appears to be a breeding ground for them!
When you were born the doctor took one look at you and slapped your mother!
I would insult Dallas Cowboys fans, but none of them live in Dallas.
Thou cretins! Thou missbegotten excuses for biological life...I break wind, and throw it jagged shards at you!
Your intellect is slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter!
My second language Afrikaans has many devastating insults, none of them printable. :buggedout:
Going to borrow one from my favourite season of Blackadder.
I am not saying you are unpopular, but I have heard when people stand in doggy doo they say "Oh dear, I've stood in a ______" (insert your name here).
Insufferable communist douche nugget!
___________________________ [insert name here] is a pus filled acne boil sprouting on the sweaty backside of a hobo. :buggedout:
Contemptible carbuncle on the arse of the universe!
Quote from: indianasmith on October 26, 2018, 06:13:31 AM
Contemptible carbuncle on the arse of the universe!
:buggedout: + :bouncegiggle: :bouncegiggle:
You sir, are like ass dandruff.
And there ain't no shampoo gonna cure that.
Illiterate incompetent uncivil ignoramus!
Thou art a clean spot on Trevor's shattered underpants!
If you were any less intelligent you would have to be watered twice a day.
Your gene pool was shallow and in desperate need of chlorine . . . and a lifeguard!!
If intelligence was measured on the Richter scale, you couldn't knock over a teacup.
I would engage you in a battle of wits, but that would be somewhat like sandblasting a soup cracker.
The gene pool you came from was from the sewer :buggedout:
Your Momma's so fat the back of her neck looks like a pack of hot dogs!
Your Momma's so ugly they gotta double bag her face!
You don't know s**t from Shinola! Or apple butter! You couldn't find your ass with both hands! If you had any brains, you'd be dangerous!
If you had any brains, you'd play with them! Or roll them like dice!
Here's one from THE TERMINATOR remake: "If your mom's vagina was a video game, it would be rated E for "Everyone"!"
I would say that bringing in one's mama is a childish move, however I suspect that all of you who do that lack the mental capabilities to be more creative and therefore stuck with a childish mindset.
It's the ultimate juvenile insult tactic, which is what makes it funny when grown men do it!!
Quote from: El Misfit on November 09, 2018, 11:29:58 PM
I would say that bringing in one's mama is a childish move, however I suspect that all of you who do that lack the mental capabilities to be more creative and therefore stuck with a childish mindset.
"Childish mindset."
Yeh, I'll take that as a compliment. :wink:
Your Momma's so ugly as a kid they had to tie a pork chop around her neck to get the dog to play with her!
Your Momma's so ugly that when I f**ked her, I had to put a bag on her head and mine, in case her's fell off!
Ok! I on't do Momma. :smile:
Your so ugly, when you were born, instead of slapping your ass, they slapped your Momma!
When you were born, they flipped you over to slap your ass and said- "Twins!"
Your so stupid watching you try to wipe your ass is like watching a monkey try to f**k a football!
You would be out of your depth in a parking lot puddle. Your friends would follow you anywhere - if you had any that is - but only out of a sense of morbid curiosity!
Your so ugly when you tried to jerk off, your hand punched yourself in the face.
The only reason you stayed a virgin for so long is because you can run faster than your Daddy!
Your so ugly, when you tried to jerk off, your hand dialed 911, and deaf-signed 'RAPE'!
Your mother's face would make a freight train take a dirt road!
Your sister's face made JOURNEY stop believing.
As for you . . . you have to sneak up on a water fountain to get a drink.
This one is credited to Tommy Lee Jones who said it in the film The Package (1988):
"You better step away from that mirror, buttface: you're going to scare yourself to death."
:teddyr: :teddyr:
Your family tree must be a cactus, because everyone in it is a prick.
Everyone has a right to be ugly but you abuse the privilege.
You are reeking, rum-colored rubbish from the rectum of a reprobate reptile!
You are a pee stain on the underpants of humankind.