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Movies => Bad Movies => Topic started by: RCMerchant on October 14, 2018, 12:20:37 AM

Title: WORST VAMPIRE MOVIES
Post by: RCMerchant on October 14, 2018, 12:20:37 AM
. TWILIGHT (I've see n bits and pieces-I can't handle the whole thing)
.INTERVIEW WITH A VAMPIRE- I like the scene with the rat. That's it.
. DRACULA (1979) is utter s**t. Frank Langella, with his open pirate shirt and blow dried disco hair...just no.
Title: Re: WORST VAMPIRE MOVIES
Post by: zombie no.one on October 14, 2018, 02:14:44 AM
LESBIAN VAMPIRE KILLERS (2009)

I would never normally judge a film without seeing it, but on the basis that this stars 'comedy' duo James Corden and Matthew Horne I already know it's automatically s**t
Title: Re: WORST VAMPIRE MOVIES
Post by: indianasmith on October 14, 2018, 07:50:46 AM
Actually, compared to VAMPIRE BABES FROM BURBANK, LESBIAN VAMPIRE KILLERS was downright entertaining!
Title: Re: WORST VAMPIRE MOVIES
Post by: Dr. Whom on October 14, 2018, 08:48:50 AM
Quote from: zombie no.one on October 14, 2018, 02:14:44 AM
LESBIAN VAMPIRE KILLERS (2009)

I would never normally judge a film without seeing it, but on the basis that this stars 'comedy' duo James Corden and Matthew Horne I already know it's automatically s**t

It is nothing to write home about. Neither good or bad enough to be entertaining.
Title: Re: WORST VAMPIRE MOVIES
Post by: bob on October 14, 2018, 08:58:24 AM
Van Helsing (2004)
Title: Re: WORST VAMPIRE MOVIES
Post by: zombie no.one on October 14, 2018, 09:21:50 AM
Quote from: indianasmith on October 14, 2018, 07:50:46 AM
Actually, compared to VAMPIRE BABES FROM BURBANK, LESBIAN VAMPIRE KILLERS was downright entertaining!
Quote from: Dr. Whom on October 14, 2018, 08:48:50 AM
It is nothing to write home about. Neither good or bad enough to be entertaining.
ok I'll take your two's words for it!
Title: Re: WORST VAMPIRE MOVIES
Post by: claws on October 14, 2018, 01:13:38 PM
in no particular order

Embrace of the Vampire (1995)
Vampire in Brooklyn (1995)
Dario Argentos Dracula (2012)
Dracula 3000 (2004)
A Return to Salem's Lot (1987)
Rise: Blood Hunter (2007)
Nocturna (1979)
Def by Temptation (1990)
Vampire Hookers (1978)
Dracula's Dog (1977)
Pale Blood (1990)
Graveyard Shift (1987)
The Lost Platoon (1990)
Title: Re: WORST VAMPIRE MOVIES
Post by: indianasmith on October 14, 2018, 01:23:20 PM
Whichever version of Dracula it was that had Jack Palance playing the Count was pretty awful.
Castle Dracula was a quaint English cottage!
Title: Re: WORST VAMPIRE MOVIES
Post by: Trevor on October 14, 2018, 01:52:14 PM
Quote from: indianasmith on October 14, 2018, 01:23:20 PM
Whichever version of Dracula it was that had Jack Palance playing the Count was pretty awful.
Castle Dracula was a quaint English cottage!

:teddyr:

I think that was Bram Stoker's Dracula (1973).

Title: Re: WORST VAMPIRE MOVIES
Post by: Alex on October 14, 2018, 05:26:02 PM
From Dusk 'Til Dawn 3.
A Vampire In Brooklyn.
Dracula 3000.
Title: Re: WORST VAMPIRE MOVIES
Post by: retrorussell on October 14, 2018, 06:14:08 PM
Yeah, A Vampire In Brooklyn was pretty dire.  I also thought John Carpenter's Vampires was bad.
Title: Re: WORST VAMPIRE MOVIES
Post by: Svengoolie 3 on October 15, 2018, 02:38:51 AM
Dracula 3000.
Vampiyaz.
Billy  the kid meets Dracula.
A vampire in Brooklyn.
I just can't try to recall any mire of this level of horror...
Title: Re: WORST VAMPIRE MOVIES
Post by: Trevor on October 15, 2018, 06:31:58 AM
Claws mentioned Dracula 3000, Rise Bloodhunter and Pale Blood - I agree with those, especially the last one which is really weird.  :buggedout:
Title: Re: WORST VAMPIRE MOVIES
Post by: Svengoolie 3 on October 15, 2018, 07:18:38 AM
Guys,  this is the Dracula from Dracula 3000. Do you honestly think you can top this?


(http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-HOjxuGFFIdA/Vj5bIsUm5vI/AAAAAAAAIgM/cKcmJKcaIvA/s1600/image0012.jpg)

(http://www.surisasurisa.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/09/dracula-3000-1.jpg)

(http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-w175-ulT1oU/UYhoysQMxRI/AAAAAAAAEUU/RrRgMdS1VMM/s1600/Dracula3000_8.png)

You could put Christopher Lee in that cape and people would laugh him off the stage ...
Title: Re: WORST VAMPIRE MOVIES
Post by: Alex on October 15, 2018, 07:22:31 AM
Ever seen Nic Cage as a vampire? Waaaaay worse.
Title: Re: WORST VAMPIRE MOVIES
Post by: Svengoolie 3 on October 15, 2018, 07:24:52 AM
That... Cape. The...... Collar. Nothing could make a worse vampire  than that (http://unbelievably)  bad collar...  Ex Wood wouldn't have used that cape. 
Title: Re: WORST VAMPIRE MOVIES
Post by: Alex on October 15, 2018, 12:21:10 PM
While it is true that Nic Cage doesn't have a cape in this movie, I suspect the reason for that is because he would have ate it while he was chewing on the scenary. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the worlds most highly paid (over)actor (since Jim Carrey doesn't seem to do much these days).

(http://i.imgur.com/gly4lMA.jpg)



(http://i.imgur.com/61sYVct.jpg)


If you've not seen Vampire's Kiss you need to, just for the lead going full on unrestrained Nic Cage. There is so much ham in this film Jewish people would go to hell just for watching it. Imagine a movie where he would send the cape back to wardrope and demand "MORE COLLAR!" on it.
Title: Re: WORST VAMPIRE MOVIES
Post by: Allhallowsday on October 15, 2018, 04:39:18 PM
Quote from: indianasmith on October 14, 2018, 01:23:20 PM
Whichever version of Dracula it was that had Jack Palance playing the Count was pretty awful.
Castle Dracula was a quaint English cottage!
Produced by DAN CURTIS, I like it! 

BLOOD OF DRACULA'S CASTLE which "stars" JOHN CARRADINE as the butler!!!  BORING, dumb, boring, waste of time, THE WORST. 
Title: Re: WORST VAMPIRE MOVIES
Post by: The Burgomaster on October 15, 2018, 06:02:23 PM

BLOOD OF DRACULA probably belongs on this list.

(https://alchetron.com/cdn/blood-of-dracula-fd1d715e-0a50-4770-9c59-e48c11cc4be-resize-750.jpeg)



Also, THE VAMPIRE (about a doctor who turns into a vampire after he takes the wrong pills . . . )

(https://savagehippie.files.wordpress.com/2013/09/vampire-1957.jpg)








Title: Re: WORST VAMPIRE MOVIES
Post by: Svengoolie 3 on October 15, 2018, 07:31:04 PM
Quote from: The Burgomaster on October 15, 2018, 06:02:23 PM

BLOOD OF DRACULA probably belongs on this list.

(https://alchetron.com/cdn/blood-of-dracula-fd1d715e-0a50-4770-9c59-e48c11cc4be-resize-750.jpeg)
















I'd tap that.
Title: Re: WORST VAMPIRE MOVIES
Post by: Svengoolie 3 on October 16, 2018, 12:07:42 AM
Is it really fair of me to call this a terrible vampire movie even tho I ROTFLMAO at it?

http://youtu.be/fTJlMtuXnjc (http://youtu.be/fTJlMtuXnjc)
Title: Re: WORST VAMPIRE MOVIES
Post by: Trevor on October 16, 2018, 01:31:33 AM
Quote from: Svengoolie 3 on October 15, 2018, 07:18:38 AM
Guys,  this is the Dracula from Dracula 3000. Do you honestly think you can top this?


(http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-HOjxuGFFIdA/Vj5bIsUm5vI/AAAAAAAAIgM/cKcmJKcaIvA/s1600/image0012.jpg)

(http://www.surisasurisa.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/09/dracula-3000-1.jpg)

(http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-w175-ulT1oU/UYhoysQMxRI/AAAAAAAAEUU/RrRgMdS1VMM/s1600/Dracula3000_8.png)

You could put Christopher Lee in that cape and people would laugh him off the stage ...

That's the South African actor Langley Kirkwood who has thankfully done a lot better since.
Title: Re: WORST VAMPIRE MOVIES
Post by: Svengoolie 3 on October 16, 2018, 02:02:54 AM
Well,  he couldn't have gotten any worse...  Honestly that inane cape and collar that looked like something out of a warner brothers or Hanna barbara cartoon made it impossible for his Dracula not to be the worst.
Title: Re: WORST VAMPIRE MOVIES
Post by: RCMerchant on October 16, 2018, 08:11:21 AM
I quite enjoyed VAMPIRE'S KISS!   :bouncegiggle:

Now, VAMPIRE HOOKERS and BLOOD OF DRACULA'S CASTLE are awful!

And BLOOD OF DRACULA is great. The vampire version of those I WAS A TEENAGE-movies of the 50's!
Title: Re: WORST VAMPIRE MOVIES
Post by: claws on October 17, 2018, 01:23:14 PM
Quote from: Trevor on October 15, 2018, 06:31:58 AM
Claws mentioned Dracula 3000, Rise Bloodhunter and Pale Blood - I agree with those, especially the last one which is really weird.  :buggedout:

Pale Blood had an interesting twist but the execution was rather dull. I've actually added Sybil Danning to the IMDb Pale Blood page ages ago. She has a three second cameo in the film.
Title: Re: WORST VAMPIRE MOVIES
Post by: lester1/2jr on October 17, 2018, 06:52:52 PM
there was a something weird video that featured a very not terrifying guy in a Dracula costume I can't remember what it was
Title: Re: WORST VAMPIRE MOVIES
Post by: Couchtr26 on October 17, 2018, 09:40:25 PM
Quote from: claws on October 14, 2018, 01:13:38 PM
Vampire Hookers (1978)

I may have to see this for academic purposes though I imagine I will be disappointed. 

Bloodrayne movies anyone?

Title: Re: WORST VAMPIRE MOVIES
Post by: Alex on October 18, 2018, 03:01:21 AM
I sort of kind of enjoyed the first Bloodrayne movie in a oh my god this is terrible way.
Title: Re: WORST VAMPIRE MOVIES
Post by: RCMerchant on October 18, 2018, 08:57:28 AM
Quote from: lester1/2jr on October 17, 2018, 06:52:52 PM
there was a something weird video that featured a very not terrifying guy in a Dracula costume I can't remember what it was

That could be either DRACULA -the DIRTY OLD MAN (1969) or GUESS WHAT HAPPENED TO COUNT DRACULA? (1971)
And yes- both are worse than anything on this thread.

http://youtu.be/WZ0bGLHjCHg (http://youtu.be/WZ0bGLHjCHg)
Title: Re: WORST VAMPIRE MOVIES
Post by: Olivia Bauer on October 18, 2018, 01:01:58 PM
Quote from: Dark Alex on October 15, 2018, 07:22:31 AM
Ever seen Nic Cage as a vampire? Waaaaay worse.

! No longer available (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lct6x-XqWrw#)
Title: Re: WORST VAMPIRE MOVIES
Post by: RCMerchant on October 18, 2018, 02:52:10 PM
Quote from: Couchtr26 on October 17, 2018, 09:40:25 PM
Quote from: claws on October 14, 2018, 01:13:38 PM
Vampire Hookers (1978)

I may have to see this for academic purposes though I imagine I will be disappointed.  





There is no any reason to watch this even for academic reasons.
Nothing is worthwhile here. It's like horny 16 year old boys tried to do an episode of Charlie's Angels- except with vampires.
Of course I owned it for a few years (it got lost in a move somewhere).
It's about some Navy guys in the Philipines (where this was filmed) on leave being seduced by vampire hookers (no nudity is shown) while John Carradine is the 'Dracula' behind it all.
Title: Re: WORST VAMPIRE MOVIES
Post by: Couchtr26 on October 18, 2018, 11:07:46 PM
Quote from: claws on October 14, 2018, 01:13:38 PM
Pale Blood (1990)

Why can't I shut my mouth?  On Comet now and because it got mentioned I can't look away.  It is like a very boring car accident.
Title: Re: WORST VAMPIRE MOVIES
Post by: Couchtr26 on October 18, 2018, 11:10:45 PM
Quote from: RCMerchant on October 18, 2018, 02:52:10 PM
Quote from: Couchtr26 on October 17, 2018, 09:40:25 PM
Quote from: claws on October 14, 2018, 01:13:38 PM
Vampire Hookers (1978)

I may have to see this for academic purposes though I imagine I will be disappointed.  





There is no any reason to watch this even for academic reasons.
Nothing is worthwhile here. It's like horny 16 year old boys tried to do an episode of Charlie's Angels- except with vampires.
Of course I owned it for a few years (it got lost in a move somewhere).
It's about some Navy guys in the Philipines (where this was filmed) on leave being seduced by vampire hookers (no nudity is shown) while John Carradine is the 'Dracula' behind it all.


In the Philippines???? Damn, I'm having flashbacks of some bad southeast Asia horror movies in those Mill Creek sets. Though to be fair, I can't resist laughing at Robo Vampires.  Scene in the church where woman jumps out the window and stunt double is a Filipino guy in a blonde wig.
Title: Re: WORST VAMPIRE MOVIES
Post by: Dr. Whom on October 21, 2018, 03:33:31 AM
Quote from: Couchtr26 on October 17, 2018, 09:40:25 PM
Quote from: claws on October 14, 2018, 01:13:38 PM
Vampire Hookers (1978)

I may have to see this for academic purposes though I imagine I will be disappointed. 

Bloodrayne movies anyone?



Using the term 'movie' very loosely there is also the soft erotic (very soft) Emmanuelle vs Dracula of 2004.

I found the first Bloodrayne oddly fascinating, also because the cast is improbably good for the movie. I'm still wondering how they got Ben Kingsley on board.
Title: Re: WORST VAMPIRE MOVIES
Post by: Alex on October 21, 2018, 07:08:44 AM
I took a guess that he had to make the last morgage payment on his house. Either that or he was very drunk when he signed up to it.

Or they literally held a gun to his head.
Title: Re: WORST VAMPIRE MOVIES
Post by: RCMerchant on October 21, 2018, 07:18:12 AM
Quote from: Dark Alex on October 21, 2018, 07:08:44 AM
I took a guess that he had to make the last morgage payment on his house. Either that or he was very drunk when he signed up to it.

Or they literally held a gun to his head.

I always wondered why Donald Pleasance was in PUMAMAN.
Title: Re: WORST VAMPIRE MOVIES
Post by: Alex on October 21, 2018, 08:07:06 AM
That is one I have never heard of, but am now going to have to look up a copy of.
Title: Re: WORST VAMPIRE MOVIES
Post by: bob on October 21, 2018, 08:19:09 PM
I submit a new contender

(https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/e/e6/Vampires_Suck_Poster.jpg)
Title: Re: WORST VAMPIRE MOVIES
Post by: Svengoolie 3 on October 22, 2018, 12:59:20 AM
Quote from: bob on October 21, 2018, 08:19:09 PM
I submit a new contender

(https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/e/e6/Vampires_Suck_Poster.jpg)

you may have just won this thread....

BTW, how can we forget the incredibly horribly badness of "Dracula vs Frankenstein", which managed to be an incredibly bad dracula and frankenstein movie at the same time? What a go getter!

https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/1043589_dracula_vs_frankenstein (https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/1043589_dracula_vs_frankenstein)