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I can't sleep so this idea just popped into my head: Ruin a movie's plot with one line and one title per post.

Soylent Green: iz people  :wink:

The Sixth Sense

Bruce Willis' character has been dead the whole time.

Searching For Sugarman

They eventually do find him. :wink:

Irreversible

They kill the wrong guy at the bar.  :buggedout:

House of The Long Shadows

It was all a huge prank on the writer.

The Gods Must Be Crazy

The Bushman eventually returns the annoying Coke bottle to the gods.

Lethal Weapon 2

Riggs survives being shot several times.*

*Pity  :wink:

The Crimson Rivers

There are two killers, not just one.

Jaws

The shark he go BANG

Seven

Gwynneth Paltrow's head is in the box 😳

THE SOUND OF MUSIC (1965)  Maria lives. 

every slasher: she gets away at the end

Titanic.

It sinks, the woman doesn't.

Gone with the Wind: Rhett dumps her.

The Empire Strikes Back: Vader's Luke's Pa.

ET: Elliot's family gets sent to Area 51. (Don't you think....?)

Sands of Iwo Jima: John Wayne bites the dust.

Every single rom-com: They wind up together.

Psycho: Mother is Norman in drag.

Cocaine Bear: the bear doesn't Just Say No.

Saw.

Its the guy on the floor.

Return of the Jedi: Luke made out with his sister.

Pandora's Box: he's Jack the Ripper!

Every Disney cartoon: Walt had mommy issues.

I KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER: he knows what they did last summer

Ag dammit 😳😉😉

RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK:

All Indy does is watch at the end.

Avatar.

Pocahontas in Space.

Avatar 2.

Space Pocahontas gets wet.

The Guns of Navarone: the guns go BOOM

The Departed

The rat did it 🦛

Planet Of the Apes

It's really Earth in the future

DRACULA HAS RISEN FROM THE GRAVE- Again.

Night Of the Living Dead

Ben gets shot along with the zombies

ESCAPE FROM ALCATRAZ

They never get caught

KING KONG VS GODZILLA

No one wins

Jaws.

Shark bites men.

THE EXORCIST

Linda Blair gets unpossessed

BENEATH THE PLANET OF THE APES

The world gets blown up

THE SHINING

Jack goes nuts and freezes to death

HALLOWEEN

Michael gets up and leaves

THE ASSASSINATION OF JESSE JAMES BY THE COWARD ROBERT FORD

See above.

Battle Beyond the Stars.

John Boy Walton defeats John Saxon's evil alien warlord.

The Village: It's Cosplay.

The Mist: Impatience kills.

The Usual Suspects: Never trust a limp.

(A fine movie.)

The Great Train Robbery (1903): DUCK!!!

Armageddon.

The world doesn't actually end.

Deep Impact.

It isn't a porno.

Texas Chainsaw Massacre.

One person gets killed by a chainsaw and to be honest he was pretty annoying anyway.

Snakes on a Plane.

The plane lands safely.

THE EXORCIST (1973)  He dies. 

The Gods Must Be Crazy: the gods get their Coke bottle back 😉

NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD (1968)
The hero gets shot in the head.

KING KONG (1933)
The hero falls of the Empire State Building.

FRANKENSTEIN (1931)
The hero dies in a burning windmill.
( Well, not really. He came back 7 times.)

Dracula.

Visitors give an old man a stake dinner.

The Wild Geese: the man they came to rescue dies.

Ghostbusters Afterlife: Egon Spengler comes back to help his brothers  :bluesad:

CITIZEN KANE

Rosebud is his sled

FRANKENSTEIN MEETS THE WOLF MAN

They both drown

HOUSE OF WAX

The statues are all corpses covered in wax

STAR TREK II: THE WRATH OF KHAN

Spock dies at the end

STAR TREK: GENERATIONS

Kirk dies at the end

MOTHRA VS GODZILLA

Godzilla loses to twin caterpillars

Alien.

They find an alien.

Aliens.

They find multiple aliens.

THE GOOD, THE BAD & THE UGLY

Lee Van Cleef gets shot, Eli Wallach gets half the money, Clint Eastwood gets the rest

Oy  :wink:

Silence of the Lambs: Dr Lecter has an old friend for dinner 😳😉

The Crying Game: The IRA continues its long campaign of failure. Oh, and the chick's got a rod.

Manos: Trev takes care of the place while the master is away 😉

The Hitcher.

Man gets a lift and kills everyone except for the guy who kills him.

MASSACRE IN DINOSAUR VALLEY

No massacre, no dinosaurs, no valley.

American Beauty: The slut was a virgin, the homophobe liked men, Enid Coleslaw did a topless scene, Jim the gay neighbor was apparently Sam Beckett Quantum Leaping, and Spacey was narrating from the dead.

Shutter Island

The investigator on the island is investigating his own disappearance.

SAVING PRIVATE RYAN:
Everybody you like dies.

☹️

Top Gun.

Despite breaking enough laws to end up facing the death penalty, a pilot with daddy issues becomes the hero.

The Passion of the Christ: The main character dies.

Is there an easter egg in the credits where he pops back up?

I mean, there's layers to this joke!

I am so glad someone noticed lol.  :bouncegiggle:

All Quiet on the Western Front. It goes all quiet on the Western Front.

How The West Was Won. The West gets won.

The Empire Strikes Back. The Empire strikes back.

South Park: Bigger, Longer, and Uncut. It's South Park, but bigger, longer, and uncut.

Doctor Zhivago. The main character is Doctor Zhivago.

Friday the 13th. Don't blame Jason.

Camelot. Has zero camels.

Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny. Indiana Jones dies.

Really? I heard differently.

...how?

 :teddyr:

I DRINK YOUR BLOOD (1970

uh- Huh!

That one I must still see 😊🐢

There Will Be Blood
.
there is in fact blood

Flash Gordon.

He saves everyone of us.

:wink:

Well, those movies are loosely based on my life, and I am very much still alive.

SAMURAI COP

Katana = Japanese sword

Citizen Kane. Rosebud was the sled....he named after his first love, Rosebud Jones, a vital, wise character who led the young protagonist on a zombie-slaying expedition to a lost mine where he got his treasure, but alas, this sequence was cut from the movie's opening. Would've cleared everything right up from the start, too, had it been left in. The gambles of editing, win some, lose some, y'know. At least Rose took her fortune and got on the Titanic. Found a boy toy there too, til she left him to freeze in the ocean.

Gee, took me two minutes to vastly improve Citizen Kane. In your flabby face, Welles!

😳😆😆😆😆

DRACULA HAS RISEN FROM THE GRAVE

and ends up right back in it

KILL BILL II

Bill gets killed

GOODFELLAS

Everybody dies or goes to jail except for Ray Liotta and Lorraine Bracco

THE BLAIR WITCH PROJECT

Three students get lost in the woods, they never get found

hmm, Liotta goes to jail in that movie....

Gothic. They all see their deaths.

Dawn of the Dead.

Mostly happens underground so the time of day is irrelevant. A group of survivors go shopping and lose half their group before fleeing their refuge.

The Walk. Philippe Petit repeatedly crosses a wire between the Trade Center towers without falling, shocking onlookers that he could even walk with balls that big.

I think he gets caught, goes to trial and then goes to witness protection.

at the end yeah, but he goes to jail before that

http://youtu.be/rQV6CijIzrc (http://youtu.be/rQV6CijIzrc)

Journey to the Centre of the Earth.

They don't go down quite that far.

The Core.

They do go down that far.

THe Crying Game.

She's a he.

The Hobbit.

Will take you longer to watch than to just read the book unless you read very, very slowly. Dwarves get their gold back and a short person gets a ring that will be important later on.

From Dusk Til Dawn.

It's full of vampires and has been for a very long time.

MRS DOUBTFIRE

he he.. she.. he.. she's a he he

DRACULA VS FRANKENSTEIN (1971) Dracula wins, but dies in the sun.

Something worse than that: there are 2 crappy sequels and both were made in South Africa 😳😳😳

So I shouldn't tell you that I enjoyed at least one of them?

Please do 😊

I don't recall both movies clearly. I think it was the third one I liked, just not 100% sure.

Jaws.

Shark gets a blow job from a police man.

I thought that it might be THE HANGMAN'S DAUGHTER: atmospheric and way better than TEXAS BLOOD MONKEY. Michael Parks was good as Ambrose Bierce. 😊

GODZILLA(1954)

He goes swimming in Tokyo Bay and a scientist uses the Japanese version of Alka Seltzer on him and he falls apart

THE WILD GEESE

They rescue the President but he dies en route back home.

The Warriors.

They get home and didn't do the murder.

 :teddyr: :teddyr:

The Humanoid.

George Lucas stole the plot for Star Wars.  :bouncegiggle:

Gandhi: Gandhi dies.
Lawrence of Arabia: Lawrence dies.
Spencer: Diana leaves the Royal Family with her sons.

Blade.

Semi-man chops up vampires with a sword.

Blade 2.

Semi-man returns and chops up more vampires.

Blade 3.

Semi-man returns and chops up more vampires including Dracula.

DEATH WISH:

He didn't wish for death.  He wished to inflict it on others.

Bridge on the River Kwai. The blow up the bridge.

Top Gun Maverick. Tom Cruise lives.

My Own Private Idaho. Scottie becomes a major rump fungus.

La double vie de Véronique. Same soul, two bodies. Also, do not watch the first time  if you are sixteen year old me, or you will watch it twenty more times to make yourself sad.

Eyes of Fire.  The joke's on the French.

Zero Dark Thirty. bin Laden croaks.  :cheers:

Dogs in Space. Buy a life insurance policy on Anna.

The Great Rock & Roll Swindle. Malcolm screws over everybody in sight.

Two English Girls and a Continental. Claude gets rich and famous but lives in misery.

Grim Prairie Tales. The bounty hunter has TB.

Midnight Cowboy. Ratso makes it to Florida, sort of.

Drugstore Cowboy. Bob gets shot.

Henry Portrait of a Serial Killer.  Buy a life insurance policy on Otis.....or anyone Henry meets.

The DAY THE WORLD ENDED (1957)

It don't

MY COUSIN VINNE

Vinnie's not a real lawyer.

A CLOCKWORK ORANGE

Sex, Droogs, & Rock'n'Roll

PEEWEES BIG ADVENTURE

lose bike, search for bike, knock a row of bikers' bikes over, find bike.

😄😄😄😄

MIDNIGHT EXPRESS

He misses the train 😉

Unstoppable.

They stop it.

Nightmare on Elm Street
A woman meets the man of her dreams and her friends die as she tries her hardest to stay away from him. 

Punisher
A family get together goes bad, so the dad starts gunning down a bunch of people.

Who'll Stop The Rain: it never rains in this film.
Deep Blue Sea: the shark he go BANG.