I can't sleep so this idea just popped into my head: Ruin a movie's plot with one line and one title per post.
Soylent Green: iz people :wink:
The Sixth Sense
Bruce Willis' character has been dead the whole time.
Searching For Sugarman
They eventually do find him. :wink:
Irreversible
They kill the wrong guy at the bar. :buggedout:
House of The Long Shadows
It was all a huge prank on the writer.
The Gods Must Be Crazy
The Bushman eventually returns the annoying Coke bottle to the gods.
Lethal Weapon 2
Riggs survives being shot several times.*
*Pity :wink:
The Crimson Rivers
There are two killers, not just one.
Jaws
The shark he go BANG
Seven
Gwynneth Paltrow's head is in the box 😳
THE SOUND OF MUSIC (1965) Maria lives.
every slasher: she gets away at the end
Titanic.
It sinks, the woman doesn't.
Gone with the Wind: Rhett dumps her.
The Empire Strikes Back: Vader's Luke's Pa.
ET: Elliot's family gets sent to Area 51. (Don't you think....?)
Sands of Iwo Jima: John Wayne bites the dust.
Every single rom-com: They wind up together.
Psycho: Mother is Norman in drag.
Cocaine Bear: the bear doesn't Just Say No.
Saw.
Its the guy on the floor.
Return of the Jedi: Luke made out with his sister.
Pandora's Box: he's Jack the Ripper!
Every Disney cartoon: Walt had mommy issues.
I KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER: he knows what they did last summer
RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK:
All Indy does is watch at the end.
Avatar.
Pocahontas in Space.
Avatar 2.
Space Pocahontas gets wet.
The Guns of Navarone: the guns go BOOM
The Departed
The rat did it 🦛
Planet Of the Apes
It's really Earth in the future
DRACULA HAS RISEN FROM THE GRAVE- Again.
Night Of the Living Dead
Ben gets shot along with the zombies
ESCAPE FROM ALCATRAZ
They never get caught
KING KONG VS GODZILLA
No one wins
Jaws.
Shark bites men.
THE EXORCIST
Linda Blair gets unpossessed
BENEATH THE PLANET OF THE APES
The world gets blown up
THE SHINING
Jack goes nuts and freezes to death
HALLOWEEN
Michael gets up and leaves
THE ASSASSINATION OF JESSE JAMES BY THE COWARD ROBERT FORD
See above.
Battle Beyond the Stars.
John Boy Walton defeats John Saxon's evil alien warlord.
The Village: It's Cosplay.
The Mist: Impatience kills.
The Usual Suspects: Never trust a limp.
Quote from: zombie no.one on June 20, 2023, 02:43:00 PM
THE ASSASSINATION OF JESSE JAMES BY THE COWARD ROBERT FORD
See above.
(A fine movie.)
The Great Train Robbery (1903): DUCK!!!
Armageddon.
The world doesn't actually end.
Deep Impact.
It isn't a porno.
Texas Chainsaw Massacre.
One person gets killed by a chainsaw and to be honest he was pretty annoying anyway.
Snakes on a Plane.
The plane lands safely.
THE EXORCIST (1973) He dies.
The Gods Must Be Crazy: the gods get their Coke bottle back 😉
NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD (1968)
The hero gets shot in the head.
KING KONG (1933)
The hero falls of the Empire State Building.
FRANKENSTEIN (1931)
The hero dies in a burning windmill.
( Well, not really. He came back 7 times.)
Dracula.
Visitors give an old man a stake dinner.
The Wild Geese: the man they came to rescue dies.
Ghostbusters Afterlife: Egon Spengler comes back to help his brothers :bluesad:
CITIZEN KANE
Rosebud is his sled
FRANKENSTEIN MEETS THE WOLF MAN
They both drown
HOUSE OF WAX
The statues are all corpses covered in wax
STAR TREK II: THE WRATH OF KHAN
Spock dies at the end
STAR TREK: GENERATIONS
Kirk dies at the end
MOTHRA VS GODZILLA
Godzilla loses to twin caterpillars
Alien.
They find an alien.
Aliens.
They find multiple aliens.
THE GOOD, THE BAD & THE UGLY
Lee Van Cleef gets shot, Eli Wallach gets half the money, Clint Eastwood gets the rest
Silence of the Lambs: Dr Lecter has an old friend for dinner 😳😉
The Crying Game: The IRA continues its long campaign of failure. Oh, and the chick's got a rod.
Manos: Trev takes care of the place while the master is away 😉
The Hitcher.
Man gets a lift and kills everyone except for the guy who kills him.
MASSACRE IN DINOSAUR VALLEY
No massacre, no dinosaurs, no valley.
American Beauty: The slut was a virgin, the homophobe liked men, Enid Coleslaw did a topless scene, Jim the gay neighbor was apparently Sam Beckett Quantum Leaping, and Spacey was narrating from the dead.
Shutter Island
The investigator on the island is investigating his own disappearance.
SAVING PRIVATE RYAN:
Everybody you like dies.
Top Gun.
Despite breaking enough laws to end up facing the death penalty, a pilot with daddy issues becomes the hero.
The Passion of the Christ: The main character dies.
Quote from: ER on June 29, 2023, 06:22:37 AM
The Passion of the Christ: The main character dies.
Is there an easter egg in the credits where he pops back up?
Quote from: Alex on June 29, 2023, 06:38:32 AM
Quote from: ER on June 29, 2023, 06:22:37 AM
The Passion of the Christ: The main character dies.
Is there an easter egg in the credits where he pops back up?
I mean, there's layers to this joke!
Quote from: zombie no.one on June 29, 2023, 07:24:04 AM
Quote from: Alex on June 29, 2023, 06:38:32 AM
Quote from: ER on June 29, 2023, 06:22:37 AM
The Passion of the Christ: The main character dies.
Is there an easter egg in the credits where he pops back up?
I mean, there's layers to this joke!
I am so glad someone noticed lol. :bouncegiggle:
All Quiet on the Western Front. It goes all quiet on the Western Front.
How The West Was Won. The West gets won.
The Empire Strikes Back. The Empire strikes back.
South Park: Bigger, Longer, and Uncut. It's South Park, but bigger, longer, and uncut.
Doctor Zhivago. The main character is Doctor Zhivago.
Friday the 13th. Don't blame Jason.
Camelot. Has zero camels.
Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny. Indiana Jones dies.
Quote from: ER on June 30, 2023, 11:30:59 AM
Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny. Indiana Jones dies.
Really? I heard differently.
Quote from: ER on June 29, 2023, 12:52:53 PM
How The West Was Won. The West gets won.
...how?
:teddyr:
I DRINK YOUR BLOOD (1970
uh- Huh!
Quote from: RCMerchant on June 30, 2023, 01:01:38 PM
I DRINK YOUR BLOOD (1970
uh- Huh!
That one I must still see 😊🐢
There Will Be Blood
.
there is in fact blood
Flash Gordon.
He saves everyone of us.
Quote from: Trevor on June 30, 2023, 11:40:23 AM
Quote from: ER on June 30, 2023, 11:30:59 AM
Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny. Indiana Jones dies.
Really? I heard differently.
:wink:
Well, those movies are loosely based on my life, and I am very much still alive.
SAMURAI COP
Katana = Japanese sword
Citizen Kane. Rosebud was the sled....he named after his first love, Rosebud Jones, a vital, wise character who led the young protagonist on a zombie-slaying expedition to a lost mine where he got his treasure, but alas, this sequence was cut from the movie's opening. Would've cleared everything right up from the start, too, had it been left in. The gambles of editing, win some, lose some, y'know. At least Rose took her fortune and got on the Titanic. Found a boy toy there too, til she left him to freeze in the ocean.
Gee, took me two minutes to vastly improve Citizen Kane. In your flabby face, Welles!
Quote from: indianasmith on June 30, 2023, 05:28:54 PM
Well, those movies are loosely based on my life, and I am very much still alive.
😳😆😆😆😆
DRACULA HAS RISEN FROM THE GRAVE
and ends up right back in it
KILL BILL II
Bill gets killed
GOODFELLAS
Everybody dies or goes to jail except for Ray Liotta and Lorraine Bracco
THE BLAIR WITCH PROJECT
Three students get lost in the woods, they never get found
Quote from: Ticonderoga 64 on July 02, 2023, 08:12:23 AM
GOODFELLAS
Everybody dies or goes to jail except for Ray Liotta and Lorraine Bracco
hmm, Liotta goes to jail in that movie....
Gothic. They all see their deaths.
Dawn of the Dead.
Mostly happens underground so the time of day is irrelevant. A group of survivors go shopping and lose half their group before fleeing their refuge.
The Walk. Philippe Petit repeatedly crosses a wire between the Trade Center towers without falling, shocking onlookers that he could even walk with balls that big.
Quote from: zombie no.one on July 02, 2023, 11:15:30 AM
Quote from: Ticonderoga 64 on July 02, 2023, 08:12:23 AM
GOODFELLAS
Everybody dies or goes to jail except for Ray Liotta and Lorraine Bracco
hmm, Liotta goes to jail in that movie....
I think he gets caught, goes to trial and then goes to witness protection.
at the end yeah, but he goes to jail before that
http://youtu.be/rQV6CijIzrc (http://youtu.be/rQV6CijIzrc)
Journey to the Centre of the Earth.
They don't go down quite that far.
The Core.
They do go down that far.
THe Crying Game.
She's a he.
The Hobbit.
Will take you longer to watch than to just read the book unless you read very, very slowly. Dwarves get their gold back and a short person gets a ring that will be important later on.
From Dusk Til Dawn.
It's full of vampires and has been for a very long time.
Quote from: Alex on July 03, 2023, 09:17:09 AM
THe Crying Game.
She's a he.
MRS DOUBTFIRE
he he.. she.. he.. she's a he he
DRACULA VS FRANKENSTEIN (1971) Dracula wins, but dies in the sun.
Quote from: Alex on July 03, 2023, 09:29:49 AM
From Dusk Til Dawn.
It's full of vampires and has been for a very long time.
Something worse than that: there are 2 crappy sequels and both were made in South Africa 😳😳😳
Quote from: Trevor on July 03, 2023, 01:47:03 PM
Quote from: Alex on July 03, 2023, 09:29:49 AM
From Dusk Til Dawn.
It's full of vampires and has been for a very long time.
Something worse than that: there are 2 crappy sequels and both were made in South Africa 😳😳😳
So I shouldn't tell you that I enjoyed at least one of them?
Quote from: Alex on July 03, 2023, 02:18:30 PM
Quote from: Trevor on July 03, 2023, 01:47:03 PM
Quote from: Alex on July 03, 2023, 09:29:49 AM
From Dusk Til Dawn.
It's full of vampires and has been for a very long time.
Something worse than that: there are 2 crappy sequels and both were made in South Africa 😳😳😳
So I shouldn't tell you that I enjoyed at least one of them?
Please do 😊
I don't recall both movies clearly. I think it was the third one I liked, just not 100% sure.
Jaws.
Shark gets a blow job from a police man.
Quote from: Alex on July 03, 2023, 02:31:14 PM
I don't recall both movies clearly. I think it was the third one I liked, just not 100% sure.
I thought that it might be THE HANGMAN'S DAUGHTER: atmospheric and way better than TEXAS BLOOD MONKEY. Michael Parks was good as Ambrose Bierce. 😊
GODZILLA(1954)
He goes swimming in Tokyo Bay and a scientist uses the Japanese version of Alka Seltzer on him and he falls apart
THE WILD GEESE
They rescue the President but he dies en route back home.
The Warriors.
They get home and didn't do the murder.
Quote from: Ticonderoga 64 on July 04, 2023, 10:39:40 AM
GODZILLA(1954)
He goes swimming in Tokyo Bay and a scientist uses the Japanese version of Alka Seltzer on him and he falls apart
:teddyr: :teddyr:
The Humanoid.
George Lucas stole the plot for Star Wars. :bouncegiggle:
Gandhi: Gandhi dies.
Lawrence of Arabia: Lawrence dies.
Spencer: Diana leaves the Royal Family with her sons.
Blade.
Semi-man chops up vampires with a sword.
Blade 2.
Semi-man returns and chops up more vampires.
Blade 3.
Semi-man returns and chops up more vampires including Dracula.
DEATH WISH:
He didn't wish for death. He wished to inflict it on others.
Bridge on the River Kwai. The blow up the bridge.
Top Gun Maverick. Tom Cruise lives.
My Own Private Idaho. Scottie becomes a major rump fungus.
La double vie de Véronique. Same soul, two bodies. Also, do not watch the first time if you are sixteen year old me, or you will watch it twenty more times to make yourself sad.
Eyes of Fire. The joke's on the French.
Zero Dark Thirty. bin Laden croaks. :cheers:
Dogs in Space. Buy a life insurance policy on Anna.
The Great Rock & Roll Swindle. Malcolm screws over everybody in sight.
Two English Girls and a Continental. Claude gets rich and famous but lives in misery.
Grim Prairie Tales. The bounty hunter has TB.
Midnight Cowboy. Ratso makes it to Florida, sort of.
Drugstore Cowboy. Bob gets shot.
Henry Portrait of a Serial Killer. Buy a life insurance policy on Otis.....or anyone Henry meets.
The DAY THE WORLD ENDED (1957)
It don't
MY COUSIN VINNE
Vinnie's not a real lawyer.
A CLOCKWORK ORANGE
Sex, Droogs, & Rock'n'Roll
PEEWEES BIG ADVENTURE
lose bike, search for bike, knock a row of bikers' bikes over, find bike.
MIDNIGHT EXPRESS
He misses the train 😉
Unstoppable.
They stop it.
Nightmare on Elm Street
A woman meets the man of her dreams and her friends die as she tries her hardest to stay away from him.
Punisher
A family get together goes bad, so the dad starts gunning down a bunch of people.
Who'll Stop The Rain: it never rains in this film.
Deep Blue Sea: the shark he go BANG.