https://babylonbee.com/news/10-changes-trump-made-in-the-god-bless-the-usa-bible
"And Moses came down with the Ten Commandments. And they were good. They were the greatest. Everybody liked them, but nobody today knows what they actually were. We won't talk about what they are, but they were good."
Quote from: chainsaw midget on March 30, 2024, 11:43:36 AM
"And Moses came down with the Ten Commandments. And they were good. They were the greatest. Everybody liked them, but nobody today knows what they actually were. We won't talk about what they are, but they were good."
That was funnier than most of the ones that made the article.
Jesus was way cool
https://youtu.be/WVJ-Wlacc-E?si=HnYztYfAlKhul3Da
(https://www.ncronline.org/files/2024-03/Election_2024_Trump_Bible_24086620919650%20%281%29.jpg)
Holy halo! Can we talk about his hair instead?
UHO (unknow hair object)
Did a sphere land on his head? a shallow bowl of miso soup? Jimmy Hoffa's remains buried there?
Quote from: claws on March 30, 2024, 01:46:12 PM
(https://www.ncronline.org/files/2024-03/Election_2024_Trump_Bible_24086620919650%20%281%29.jpg)
Holy halo! Can we talk about his hair instead?
UHO (unknow hair object)
Did a sphere land on his head? a shallow bowl of miso soup? Jimmy Hoffa's remains buried there?
His hair is his power apparently.
https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/politics/donald-trump-has-odd-superstitions-about-his-hair-according-to-new-stormy-daniels-doc/ar-BB1kvfFq (https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/politics/donald-trump-has-odd-superstitions-about-his-hair-according-to-new-stormy-daniels-doc/ar-BB1kvfFq)
QuoteHis hair is his power apparently.
Obviously fake and dwindling rapidly?
Gotta admit, that one is pretty funny!
I'm surprised that Bible he's holding hasn't burst into flame.
Quote from: RCMerchant on March 30, 2024, 05:50:41 PM
I'm surprised that Bible he's holding hasn't burst into flame.
It would have to based on something real for that to happen. God only takes an interest in stuff that happened a really, really long time ago (feel free to imagine Genesis appearing as a Star Wars scroll).
I dunno- I'm a flat out atheist- and it still somehow offends me. I guess just looking at his face just offends me.
(https://i.imgur.com/YyaCRaV.jpg) (https://lunapic.com)
SNL added another one: In Trump's version Jesus' disciples storm Jerusalem to change the result of the crucifixion!
I know when you enter public life you become fair game and I know Donald Trump is a full-time prick, but I wish people would criticize his political policies rather than attack the man himself, which is like shooting fish in an orange bathtub.
This also goes for President Biden and basically all politicians except Boris Johnson, whose Covid parties left him deserving of anything anyone wants to say about him, in any context, til the end of this or any other universe.
Going after someone politically is more challenging, you'll find, and I for one like to see people take something other than the easy road, which is for the fat and lazy.
Don't be fat and lazy, or a pundit may kick sand in your face next time you're at the beach.
I mean, tell what you think about Trump's handling of China, not his handling of Stormy Daniel's well-waxed nay-nay.
^ Why do you think we don't like Trump? Because of his bad tan?
Of course it's his politics. :lookingup:
I liked Trump's policies...
I really despise Biden's policies...
Let's not get into it.
Anyway, I ain't too worried. I really think he's not gonna win anyway, and that will be it. As he is now- he's a harmless blowhard. It's the dopes who come after him with the same mindset we gotta watch for.
Quote from: ER on April 01, 2024, 10:41:45 AM
I know when you enter public life you become fair game and I know Donald Trump is a full-time prick, but I wish people would criticize his political policies rather than attack the man himself, which is like shooting fish in an orange bathtub.
This also goes for President Biden and basically all politicians except Boris Johnson, whose Covid parties left him deserving of anything anyone wants to say about him, in any context, til the end of this or any other universe.
Going after someone politically is more challenging, you'll find, and I for one like to see people take something other than the easy road, which is for the fat and lazy.
Don't be fat and lazy, or a pundit may kick sand in your face next time you're at the beach.
I mean, tell what you think about Trump's handling of China, not his handling of Stormy Daniel's well-waxed nay-nay.
Trump's personality is really all there is. He had no consistent, rational policy other than what made him look good at the moment. The man flip-flopped on virtually every issue at one point or another in his presidency. At one point during his campaign, he articulated four different positions on abortion in a two-week period. His attention span was non-existent, his knowledge of the office he held was minimal, and he never showed any desire or inclination to learn. He couldn't comprehend intelligence briefings, and most staff meetings were him talking about himself for 3/4 of the time while aides frantically tried to make a point or get him to approve a policy. He was unqualified for the job in every possible way - mentally, emotionally, intellectually, and temperamentally. Listen to what his former cabinet officers say about him now. Not even his former Vice President endorses him.
Still not voting for a guy who thinks seventy-three million voters are "enemies of democracy"
(https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F3cac3e0b-2fa1-4427-ad45-135c9edffce0_1032x808.png?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email)
His policies on energy, transportation & the border are reason enough to vote him out of office!
Maybe this post was a bad idea. Anyone see any movies lately?
Quote from: Rev. Powell on April 01, 2024, 03:12:37 PM
Maybe this post was a bad idea. Anyone see any movies lately?
It started out okay, but quickly dropped the jokes.....
Changes made in Biden Bible
1. Jesus emerges from the tomb dressed like a woman. This is why we celebrate the Trans day of visibility every year
2. Jesus' disciples do all the miracles while Jesus goes to bed at 8 pm
3. Jesus raises someone who isn't there from the dead and blesses them
4. Jesus walks away from the the pigs before they go over the cliff, They turn around and come back and take over the village
I heavily suggest that this thread gets locked.
(https://i.imgur.com/Ka4MmLE.gif) (https://lunapic.com)
Quote from: El Misfit on April 01, 2024, 04:37:26 PM
I heavily suggest that this thread gets locked.
Yeah, good idea.