Changes Made in "Trump Bible"

[ER]

https://babylonbee.com/news/10-changes-trump-made-in-the-god-bless-the-usa-bible

[chainsaw midget]

"And Moses came down with the Ten Commandments.  And they were good.  They were the greatest.  Everybody liked them, but nobody today knows what they actually were.  We won't talk about what they are, but they were good."

[Rev. Powell]

"And Moses came down with the Ten Commandments.  And they were good.  They were the greatest.  Everybody liked them, but nobody today knows what they actually were.  We won't talk about what they are, but they were good."

That was funnier than most of the ones that made the article.

[LilCerberus]

Jesus was way cool
https://youtu.be/WVJ-Wlacc-E?si=HnYztYfAlKhul3Da

[claws]

Holy halo! Can we talk about his hair instead?

UHO (unknow hair object)

Did a sphere land on his head? a shallow bowl of miso soup?  Jimmy Hoffa's remains buried there?

[Alex]

Holy halo! Can we talk about his hair instead?

UHO (unknow hair object)

Did a sphere land on his head? a shallow bowl of miso soup?  Jimmy Hoffa's remains buried there?

His hair is his power apparently.

https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/politics/donald-trump-has-odd-superstitions-about-his-hair-according-to-new-stormy-daniels-doc/ar-BB1kvfFq

[chainsaw midget]

His hair is his power apparently.

Obviously fake and dwindling rapidly?

[indianasmith]

Gotta admit, that one is pretty funny!

[RCMerchant]

I'm surprised that Bible he's holding hasn't burst into flame.

[Alex]

I'm surprised that Bible he's holding hasn't burst into flame.

It would have to based on something real for that to happen. God only takes an interest in stuff that happened a really, really long time ago (feel free to imagine Genesis appearing as a Star Wars scroll).

[RCMerchant]

I dunno- I'm a flat out atheist- and it still somehow offends me. I guess just looking at his face just offends me.

[indianasmith]

SNL added another one: In Trump's version Jesus' disciples storm Jerusalem to change the result of the crucifixion!

[ER]

I know when you enter public life you become fair game and I know Donald Trump is a full-time prick, but I wish people would criticize his political policies rather than attack the man himself, which is like shooting fish in an orange bathtub.

This also goes for President Biden and basically all politicians except Boris Johnson, whose Covid parties left him deserving of anything anyone wants to say about him, in any context, til the end of this or any other universe.

Going after someone politically is more challenging, you'll find, and I for one like to see people take something other than the easy road, which is for the fat and lazy.

Don't be fat and lazy, or a pundit may kick sand in your face next time you're at the beach.

I mean, tell what you think about Trump's handling of China, not his handling of Stormy Daniel's well-waxed nay-nay.

[RCMerchant]

^ Why do you think we don't like Trump? Because of his bad tan?
Of course it's his politics. 

[LilCerberus]

I liked Trump's policies...
I really despise Biden's policies...