OT: Satanic Politician running for Governor.

dean · January 13, 2006, 06:32:58 AM

Please tell me this is correct: it's too damn funny to be fake...

Jonathon for Governor

These are but the simple pleasures of life: A Satanistic Politician who wants to impale the poor and give back to the farmers of Minnesota. Plus he is a veteren and wants boot camp for all juvenile offenders.

And he's an ex-wrestler. Boy, has this guy done lots or what? Plus he partly owns a couple of Covens too...

Please, somebody vote the crazy guy into office... sure it's dangerous and the stupid thing to do, incredibly stupid in fact, but I just find the whole idea so utterly preposterous that I just can't help myself...

Genetic_Mishap · January 13, 2006, 11:00:35 AM

He gets my vote!
(if I were from Minnesota)

raj · January 13, 2006, 01:06:32 PM

Minnesota: Land of 10,000 kooky politicians.

Impaling terrorists? He'd get my vote.

trekgeezer · January 13, 2006, 04:24:06 PM

Can't tell about those Minnesotans. They elected a guy named Jesse "The Body" Ventura governor, so why not Johnathan "The Impaler" Sharkey. He may actually have a chance.

As far as his presidential run , I'm sticking with General Zod.

Ash · January 13, 2006, 04:36:54 PM

I can't get over the way his first name is spelled.
To me, a Johnathon is like a marathon...with only guys named John participating.

dean · January 13, 2006, 11:31:40 PM

Just read this short article on the guy as well.

Another News Article

Can anyone tell me why there is such a nickname throwing around of governers there? 'The Body' and 'The Impaler,' what's next? 'The Spendthrift' or 'The Accountant'??

All this seems rather silly...

2xSlick · January 14, 2006, 12:17:03 AM

All together now: WTF?

I've retyped my post about ten times now because of the potential flak I could receive for bashing the guy's personal beliefs. I am not trying to say his religious beliefs are wrong or twisted because of his disbelief in God; I am saying his beliefs are wrong because he is twisting Christian views with secular religions and mythology (only referring to the vampire bit). I think that the fact that he is trying to be as blasphemous as possible leads me to think the whole thing is bulls**t (his mom is a witch, his dad is a vampire, but they are both Roman Catholics?). 'The Body' at least was an ex Navy Seal. No one doubts that Jesse could single-handedly wipe out both criminals in Minnesota. Toss in the whole Vlad the Impaler routine and you have an extremely boring news day. Just my two cents. Hope I didn't offend anyone.

trekgeezer · January 14, 2006, 12:32:26 PM

I like his thinking on dealing with child molesters (impaling them in front of the capitol).

peter johnson · January 16, 2006, 01:10:31 AM

What puts me off him is that he believes that Bruce Springsteen wrote "WAR", which was a hit at least 15 years before Bruce picked up a guitar --
Impassioned and Ignorant -- Hell, de boy gots a future!!
love
peter johnson/denny crane

trekgeezer · January 31, 2006, 01:25:13 PM

....for outstanding warrants in Indiana. Seems his wrestling day hijinks have caught up with him.

The article.

There's a link at the bottom to article about his girfriend losing her school bus driving job because of his campaign.

Amanda · January 31, 2006, 10:51:29 PM

I'm from Minnesota.....I was actually proud to tell all my Texan neighbors, but now our Politicians are getting as stupid as theirs. Still proud actually, but damnit.

Hey, "The Body" was a cool guy! He was a freeballer! *LOL* My Dad liked him because he publicly stated that religion was a crutch for the weak minded. He thought that was hilarious.

You can thank Minnesotans for paving the way for The Guvahnatah in California. For that, I apologise.

I saw the vampire hopeful on the news at work. I wanted to hide under my desk.

dean · February 01, 2006, 07:03:23 AM

Good Ol Sharkey, always up to no good...

But as they say in the criminal justice system, boys will be boys.

Or in this case, raving vampire satanists will be governer, so I guess it all works out.

The fun shenanigans never stop.

Derf · February 01, 2006, 11:01:25 AM

Sorry, folks the Impaler won't become governor.

Instead, he'll become Bubba's new girlfriend.

Here's the story

trekgeezer · February 01, 2006, 11:39:38 AM

Hey Derf, I guess you didn't read the whole thread. That's the same article I linked to 3 posts up.

Derf · February 01, 2006, 12:02:28 PM

Oops! Sorry, no, I didn't. I saw the story on Fark.com and remembered this entry here. The guy himself doesn't interest me; he's a publicity-hound (of hell), and as such is a waste of my time. I read the last couple of entries and posted the link. Sorry for the repeat.