This year's film list.

[Chris K.]

Okay, from what I heard their is going to be an assortment of certain films being made for this year. The ONLY films that are going to be made for this year are:

1.) War Pictures
2.) Teen-Sex Comedies

THAT'S IT! Jesus, what are these so-called creative tallents in Hollywood coming up with. The one that really gets me is the War Pictures one. First came BLACK HAWK DOWN, now two other war films featuring Bruce Willis and Mel Gibson are on their way. What next: Josh Hartnet and Ben Afleck team up for PEARL HARBOR 2!

And what about these upcoming Teen-Sex Pictures? Josh Hartnet is already in 40 DAY'S AND 40 NIGHT'S. Could it be any worse? And I hope to God their is not going to be an AMERICAN PIE 3. That will just take the cake (I mean pie).

I have no problem with War Films, but for God's sake aren't their any NEW FILMS that can be made with the creative technology and the vast network of directors and writers that we have? I just don't know anymore!

I really want to get in the film directing career so bad. At least then I will break the rules and make films that will satisfy some people.

(P.S.- I hate to disappoint any Mel Gibson fans out there, but from what I heard his new film is being directed by Randall Walace-that's right THE SAME a***ole who wrote PEARL HARBOR. It just doesn't look good when you have Randall Walace try first hand at directing even though he sucks at writing.)

[Cullen]

"Spider-man" is not a teen sex movie or a war picture.

"Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers" *could* be considered a war movie, I guess.

"Resident Evil" is a traves- well, it's not a teen sex or war movie.  By standard definition.

I think if you look again, things might not be as bad as you might think.  Maybe not good, I give you that, but still

[Chris K.]

Thanks for the clarification. Yet, here is how I see it:

SPIDER-MAN (action film)
LORD OF THE RINGS: THE TWO TOWERS (fantasy film)
RESIDENT EVIL (horror and action combo)

Things might not be so bad after all, but then what about CROSSROADS: not a teen-sex comedy, but a teen flick altogether.

[Mofo Rising]

I don't know, Randall Wallace also wrote BRAVEHEART, which is one of my favorite movies of all time.  I haven't seen, nor will I see, PEARL HARBOR.

Personally, I'd like to see some Teen Sex War Comedies.

"They're a ragtag group of Marines, fresh out of boot camp.  They should be fighting a war, but these crazy guys are only concerned with gettin' some!  French foxes and German frauleins alike are under target by these sharpshooters of lovin'!"

Of course, the whole movie would build up to a climax in Hitler's bunker where, in a gag involving mixed up suppositories, a live grenade is shoved up Hitler's bum.  (Udo Kier, of course, plays Hitler.)  Hilarity ensues as the wild team of misfits inadvertently rescues a bevy of Nazi loves slaves from their libidinous imprisonment.  Of course, during the escape one of the gang, in order to roll a gigantic joint, grabs some papers in which turn out to be the secret Nazi plans for some amazing rocket plane.  The Nazi plan is foiled, the beauties are saved, and all the Marines get medals in a gratuitous nudity filled ceremony.

The name of the movie?  DOUBLE D-DAY.

Yes, my mind is naturally this offensive.

[AndyC]

I'd pay to see that movie.

[Cullen]

"Double D-Day."  Now I know what horror is.

[Cullen]

I try not to think about "Crossroads."  At all.  And then only that it'll be gone soon, and everything will be all right.

But, come to think about it, I'm that way with most dramas, too.  Such is my life.

[Lee]

Double D-Day?! Sounds good to me!

[The Honn]

Am I the only who thinks Resident Evil is really REALLY gonna suck? I mean an "electronic" score by Marylin Manson for God's sake.

[Bicuitrocious]

Well, I may be the only person in the world who really liked "The Spirits Within," (the Final Fantasy movie), but I'm going to make the initial assault and say that 99.9% of movies based on video games are complete garbage.

Remember Mario Brothers with Bobn Hoskins?
What about Double Dragon with the guy from Party of Five?
I'm still waiting on the Q-Bert movie starring Liv Tyler...

My guess is, this is another really bad idea.

[Chris K.]

Okay, so Randall Walace wrote the script for BRAVEHEART. But let me tell you, as much as I liked BRAVEHEART in terms of acting and photography, as well as the action scenes, I must confess I found Walace's scripting to be in dire need of re-write due to slow pacing, some dialouge that did not do the film any justice, and some characters I could really care LESS about. Walace's script clearly cried out for a reworking.

But now, after Walace's disappointing 3 hour long script for PEARL HARBOR, he is directing. All I can say is I hope his direction is better than his writing.

[Chris K.]

I noticed on the credits of the trailer for RESIDENT EVIL that I saw the company name Constantin Films, a German film production company that is pretty well known with Spaghetti Westerns.

Did anybody notice this?

[Frannie]

I bet you could sell that to Vivid Video.

[Mofo Rising]

Yup, those are all valid points about BRAVEHEART.  I still love it though.

About RESIDENT EVIL, the trailer made it look better than I would have expected.  But I still don't have high hopes.  Entertainment Weekly (a tragically horrible magazine) had a small write up about it.  It tells how they got rid of Romero and replaced him with Paul Anderson, as Anderson's got credentials from his MORTAL KOMBAT movie.  Right.  Romero near-as invented the zombie genre, but Anderson's got credentials because he directed MORTAL KOMBAT.  Why don't I just shoot myself for this magazine actually making me dumber by reading it.  The rest of the write up is Anderson telling how great it is because they've got some "wicked" decapitations and a half-naked girlie.  Sounds great, Paul!

As far as video game movies, I think one of the problems is that filmmakers tend to want to recreate the game experience.  Hey, dumbass, if somebody wanted the video game experience they'd play the videogame.

[Rombles]

Please, please, pretty please can Peter Jackson direct Double D-Day?