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The Warrior and the Sorceress

Started by El Nebuloso, November 25, 2006, 04:10:12 PM

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El Nebuloso

Obviously, Kain is a Chaotic Evil character, in AD&D terms. The bastard wanders into town, tricks the rulers, doesn't object to torture, kills an innocent monster (crappily), empties the well (thereby killing the entire population), takes the remaining water, and leaves town. But not after taking what must be the entire village stockpile of terracs. What a scumbag, he's a worse hero than Lancelot. But who can blame him? With a career like David Carradine's it's no wonder he's a bit disillusioned/disgruntled. This is his afterlife: GOD: "I sentence you to do a crappy TV show about your only semi-popular movie, and it shall run for many seasons, and you shall always be known as "the Kung-Fu guy with a lisp"." DAVID: "NO! Strike me down now, God! Please spare me!" GOD: "Ha ha fat chance, sucker."

Don't you just love happy endings?

Poo Bah

Geeesh, you can't even mention that this is an obvious
reworking of Yojimbo?

Steve Grainger

The first thing that struck me about this movie, yes, I saw it in an actual theater, was that it was a blatent rip off off of that Clint Eastwood movie, "For a Few Dollars More" which was a rip off of a samuri film, "Yojimbo" which was ripped off again in that Bruce Willis film "Last Man Standing" but then there are only five plots, so what isn't a rip off?  Second, it had a sense of humor that made the stupidness easier to take.  Overall, it is fun if you can appreciate cheese like most films staring David Carridine.

Brian Lindsey

I vaguely recall seeing this flick on Cinemax back in the late 80s. It had lots of tits in it, so I watched it.

Womens nipples are erect all the time... when they're running around naked in the cold cold air! Duh.

Poo Bah

Yojimbo, of course, is also a rip off...of THE GLASS KEY.

That's probably ripped off something else.

Funk, E.

I'm sorry, but I saw this and thought that 3 slimes was a bit generous. If you're not going to come up with your own plot then at least execute it with the proper penache or tongue in cheek. The humor was not strong enough or consistently evident enough to carry a plate of cheese. The film drags heavily in places to the point that I wish I had seen this with commercials! The T&A is ample but ferquently not presented very well almost (dare I say it) too much at any one time. That is to say the scenes with bare breasts last too long. Andy Sidaris threw them at us in truck loads but each scene is short enough or edited tightly enought that your not just staring at them for a minute and half while the actress stumbles through a speech or a dance as the case may be.

Steve

The Clint Eaestwood ripoff was "Fist Full Of Dollars"

Mo

If they want to sell more copies of this film, they should forget about mentioning David Carradine, and just concentrate on heavily publicizing the appearance of a four-breasted exotic dancer...it's the only recollection I have of this totally boring movie.  I'm guessing those breasts must be real, because they obviously didn't have the budget for special effects of that quality!

Fox Of Nod

This movie had a budget of what $3000.
If it had more money and better every thing else it might have been good.

WitchKing

This isn't too bad as low-budget fantasy epics go.  "Deathstalker" is better and "Wizards of the Lost Kingdom" is livelier if more empty-headed, but this one is fun to watch when you're alone and a bit plastered.  I was obsessed with the lizard lackey as a kid and the film's poster now hangs on my wall.

Someguy

Wow, all these mentions of story rip-offs! I was going to say "Fistful of Dollars" and "Yojimbo," but I see I have already been beaten to the punch. Anyway, if anybody is still interested, all of the previously mentioned movies (including this one) came from the novel "Red Harvest" by Dashiell Hammett. Yes, that Dashiell Hammett, who wrote a story about a private detective playing one gang off against another.

George

CRAPCRAPCRAP!!!!! I saw this at a theater and when a horny little 16 year old doesn't like a movie full of swords and boobs there must be something wrong (with the movie, not the teen). If its a cheesy, sex-and-nudity oriented sword-and-sorcery flick your'e looking for, check out the 1982 New World Pictures epic "Sorceress". This one has identical twins (with nice boobs!) who don't know that they're girls. In one hilarious scene, they see a naked man (we don't, thank God!) and think his "package" is some kind of weapon. Check this one out.

Hudson

It's a great schlock movie. Its got Swords made of rubber, reptilian thingies, sitting on a fat man's shoulder und quadro tits. Whaddaya need more. Heh!

Total Nut

One question: Was that David Carradine in the recent Yellowbook.com commercial as the guy who chants, "Yellowbook-dot-commmmm..." at the end? Because if it was, he's finally starting to look like his father (Oscar winner and B-Movie legend John Carradine, in case you didn't know already).