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Five Worst Movies You've Ever Had The Misfortune Of Watching

Started by CoreyHeldpen, March 18, 2007, 12:22:16 AM

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CoreyHeldpen

What would you honestly say the five absolute worst films you've ever had the displeasure of watching from beginning to end are?

Mine are:
5- Arachnia (Why did I hate this movie? It had all the stuff I love in a B-Movie in it, I should've loved it. So why don't I like it?)
4- Date Movie (What is this crap? No, really, what IS this CRAP?)
3- Spy Kids (And how did this get two sequels?)
2- Snakes On A Train (The Asylum is destroying itself with dull, cruddy rip-offs.)
1- The 13th Child: Legend Of The Jersey Devil (Poorly edited and directed, narrative that jumps all over the place, poor acting, cruddy effects, goofy monster, this movie just sucks.)

"The only three things I hate are demons, malfunctioning robots, and monster movies that don't show you the monster."

Fausto

The 13th child was a pile of S***!!!!!! I went to see that in the theatres, and me and my friends spent the whole time trashing it, as that was the only way we could stay amused. It horrifies me to think that someone actually thought it was worthy of a theatrical release. You get applause for speaking the truth.  :buggedout:
"When I die, I hope you will use my body creatively." - Shin Chan

"Tonight, we will honor the greatest writers in America with a modest 9 by 12 certificate and a check for three thousand dollars...three thousand dollars? Stephen King makes more than that for writing boo on a cocktail napkin." - Jimmy Breslin

CoreyHeldpen

13th Child got released in theatres?! I thought it went straight to video.
"The only three things I hate are demons, malfunctioning robots, and monster movies that don't show you the monster."

fortunato

The worst films I've ever seen (so bad that I've never watched them twice) are:

5:  National Lampoon's Senior Trip (No comedy was attempted in the making of this picture)
4:  Bad Moon (A werewolf movie that was lamer than most of its ilk)
3:  The Howling 4:  The Original Nightmare (The title says it all. It's more faithful to the novel, which is bad for us)
2:  One Missed Call (Takashi Miike's VERY Hollywood-esque ghost/slasher film, which gives it that Final Destination ripoff feel.)
1:  The Howling 3:  The Marsupials (Like we needed kangaroo-werewolves to give a "boost" to this series)
Goblins still exist. Your Grandpa Seth is telling you!

Are you nuts? You tryin' ta turn me into a homo?

You're TEARING ME APART, Lisa!

"May I remind you that I am in command here! Only an idiot would attempt such a thing. I will do it myself."

quabrot

Date Movie-  Of all the pieces of crap I've seen, this may be the worst.
Alone in the Dark- The only Uwe Boll film that deserves the hatred.  I loved Bloodrayne, and got a lot of laughs out of House of the Dead.  This one was just boring.
Four Flies on Gray Velvet-  Dario Argento usually makes better movies, even when he makes bad ones.
Hunchback of Notre Dame 2- Disney's direct to video sequels are all pretty bad.  I would probably put this one at the bottom.
Frankenstein's Bloody Terror-  Paul Naschy's first werewolf movie.  I'm glad they decided to bring him back and make better movies.


I liked One Missed Call.  Pop J-horror with Miike's sadistic touch. 

Kester Pelagius

They're not all going to be movies I watched in the theater but. . .

5. Robin Hood, Prince of Thieves
4. Waterworld (short version)
3. Abomination: The Evilmaker 2
2. Blood Slaves of the Vampire Wolf
1. Amityville (remake)*


(*) Actually this would probably be a tie for most of the remakes I've seen.  But that sprang to mind immediately as particularly odiferous.
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Scott

Battlefield Earth
Catwomen
Howard The Duck
The Rats Are Coming, The Werewolves Are Here !

Sorry, I could only come up with 4 films that were that bad. Usually I can find something in a film that I like. Actually the four above have at least one or two moments in each that are ok, but that doesn't make them movies.

JaseSF

5) National Lampoon's Senoir Trip (ugh! Completely unfunny in the extreme. I had forgotten this until I saw this thread.)
4) The Wizard of Gore (Now most of H.G. Lewis' films I find to be hard slugging but this one took the cake for me. This incomprehensible mess is basically just an excuse to show new and inventive ways to showcase seemingly endless scenes featuring mutilation gore of hapless half-dressed females.)
3) Boogie Nights (Yes I hated it this much. Didn't think it was ever going to end when I originally watched it.)
2) Natural Born Killers (a mindlessly repetitive onslaught of violence with no real rhyme or reason to it.)
1) Armageddon (a complete waste of the acting talent. I don't know why they bothered to get any recognizable performers at all since all that seems to matter is the FX.)
"This above all: To thine own self be true!"

RCMerchant



4) The Wizard of Gore (Now most of H.G. Lewis' films I find to be hard slugging but this one took the cake for me. This incomprehensible mess is basically just an excuse to show new and inventive ways to showcase seemingly endless scenes featuring mutilation gore of hapless half-dressed females.)

[/quote]

Ok,those were it's good points...now the bad ones are...? :question:
Supernatural?...perhaps. Baloney?...Perhaps not!" Bela Lugosi-the BLACK CAT (1934)
Interviewer-"Does Dracula ever end for you?
Lugosi-"No. Dracula-never ends."
Slobber, Drool, Drip!
https://www.tumblr.com/ronmerchant

JaseSF

It's doesn't make much sense overall, the sound and acting are terrible and well I just don't care for gore movies that only has misogynist gore to claim as a redeeming feature I guess.
"This above all: To thine own self be true!"

RCMerchant

Actually,I agee.It was a pretty lousy movie,even for Lewis.Much more entertaining is 2000 MAINIACS,for the over the top hamminess and fun bluegrass music.
Supernatural?...perhaps. Baloney?...Perhaps not!" Bela Lugosi-the BLACK CAT (1934)
Interviewer-"Does Dracula ever end for you?
Lugosi-"No. Dracula-never ends."
Slobber, Drool, Drip!
https://www.tumblr.com/ronmerchant

BeyondTheGrave

5. Zombies Vs Vampires
4. Parasite Eve
3. Dark Water
2. City of Rott
1. The Raven
Most of all I hate dancing then work,exercise,people,stupidpeople


JaseSF

"This above all: To thine own self be true!"

peter johnson

So -- Movies with no virtue whatever?
Howard the Duck
The Valachi Papers
Equinox
Father of The Bride(Steve Martin remake)
Panic in The Year 3000
* * *
You may have not seen the last one listed here.  New Zealand film.  No budget.  Big screen.  Find it if you can . . .
* * *
love
peter j./denny c.
I have no idea what this means.

Zapranoth

Treasure of the Four Crowns was pretty pointless.

Umm...   Shanghai Surprise.

Agree, Howard the Duck.

Star Trek:  Nemesis.   (aaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh!)

I didn't watch Catwoman, nor did I watch Howling 3:  The Marsupials.   Just too darned painful to even contemplate.  But I'll bet either of them would be a shoo-in for slot 5 in my list.