I like my ______ like I like my women:

[Andrew]

In the spirit of "Airplane," I have been doing this for a few years.  When a random topic comes up I will use it in the following sentence:

I like my ______ like I like my women:  _______

For example, my friend Gary once used this one on me as we went to the grocery store for ice cream (and nearly caused a wreck):

      I like my ice cream like I like my women:  chocolate and chunky.

Or, yesterday, I said the following:

      I like my cell phones like I like my women:  with rollover minutes and free nights and weekends.

I should have been writing these down over the years.  There have been a couple that left us laughing so hard we were crying.

(Girls, you can join in too - just switch it out as needed.)

[BeyondTheGrave]

I like my Punk music like I like my women: Fast and Incoherent.

I like my Bad movies like I like my women: sucks but entertaining. (Hope thats not to bad)

[Jack]

I like my DVD's like I like my women:  cheap and used.

[Andrew]

I may need to remember not to read some of your responses while drinking.  Rich and Jack, those made me laugh out loud, so loud that Katie asked me what I was laughing at.

[Menard]

I like my books like I like my women: bound and wide open

[Andrew]

I like my books like I like my women: bound and wide open

The moment I saw you had posted to this thread the thought that ran through my mind was, "This is not safe."

Anyway...

I like my popcorn like I like my women:  hot and buttery.

[Shadow]

I like my Scotch like I like my women: 18 years old with a Sherry wood aftertaste.

[fortunato]

I like my rock music like I like my women:  under the influence and angry

[Menard]

Beware: it's gonna get worse.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
I like my sundaes like I like my women: stacked, with a cherry

[Shadow]

I like my women like I like my peanut butter: easy to spread.

[Menard]

I like my DNA like I like my women: chained, in pairs   

[Zapranoth]

This is all your fault, Andrew.  Awesomely big mistake.   

Here's mine:

Menard likes his Zardoz like he likes his women:   gaping, but stony.

[Mofo Rising]

Well, my go to classic was from The Naked Gun 2 1/2.  "I like my coffee like I like my women: black and bitter."

Which was good until I heard the inverse, "I like my women like I like my coffee: ground up and in the freezer."  (Don't remember where that one came from.)

Here's a couple I came up with:
I like my cheese like I like my women: pale and veiny.
I like my cheese like I like my women: pleasing to the tongue, but stinky.
I like my government like I like my women: bloated.

Sort of related from the comedian Demetri Martin: "An ex-girlfriend is a lot like an okay movie.  I liked it at the time, but I don't want to see it again."

One more:
I like my women like I like my outer planets: giant and gassy.  (Too specific?)

[Trevor]

  Thanks, Andrew. I am a guy who likes older women so:

I like my pizza like I like my women: old, half eaten and wise in the ways of the world.

[Trevor]

 

Sorry, I just grossed myself out terribly with that "half-eaten" remark, I don't know where that came from.