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HELP: It seems I'm going to be on TV!!!!!

Started by Trevor, April 18, 2007, 09:27:10 AM

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How do you think Trevor's TV debut will go?

He might just get by.
1 (16.7%)
He will swear every other word.
0 (0%)
He will wet his pants or worse.
3 (50%)
He will do a Billy Jack on the camera person.
1 (16.7%)
He might get promotion. Yeah, right.
1 (16.7%)

Total Members Voted: 6

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Trevor

April 18, 2007, 09:27:10 AM Last Edit: April 18, 2007, 09:29:14 AM by Trevor
 :teddyr: Oh, blimey, no...................................!

A production company contacted me yesterday to ask if I would agree to be filmed (videoed) for a program on local television and give my thoughts on censorship, past, present and future.

My bosses are currently checking this out and it might or might not happen, I don't know.

I need an urgent makeover, new clothes, new teeth and new underpants, urgently.  :teddyr:

We shall meet in the place where there is no darkness.

fortunato

#1
April 18, 2007, 09:57:03 AM
What kind of help do you think a bunch of bad movie lovers are going to give you, anyway? We have no shame.
Goblins still exist. Your Grandpa Seth is telling you!

Are you nuts? You tryin' ta turn me into a homo?

You're TEARING ME APART, Lisa!

"May I remind you that I am in command here! Only an idiot would attempt such a thing. I will do it myself."

Raffine

#2
April 18, 2007, 11:43:06 AM
- No "F-Bombs"

- Do not tap the mic and ask "Is this thing on?" more than twice

- No pinstripes or small checked patterns - they strobe on TV (unless you want to give the views migraines  :teddyr:)

- Work a BILLY JACK reference into every statement

I hope this works out and you have fun!

If you're an Andy Milligan fan there's no hope for you.

Derf

#3
April 18, 2007, 11:59:42 AM
Cool!

But remember, if they ask you to take your shirt off, ask for more money first!  :teddyr:

Just kidding. Congrats. TV can be a little nerve-wracking, but it is usually no big deal once you're there.
"They tap dance not, neither do they fart." --Greensleeves, on the Fig Men of the Imagination, in "Twice Upon a Time."

raj

#4
April 18, 2007, 12:57:12 PM
Leave the chainsaw at home.

Remember to look directly into the camera, smile.

And RELAX!

RCMerchant

#5
April 18, 2007, 08:30:32 PM
Don't puke! But if you must...try to projectile vomit...as it looks real cool!
Don't pick your nose...but,if you must,don't wipe it on your pants. Use the interviewers pants.
Swear alot. Use the "F" word every in every sentence...it makes you cool. Like Ozzy!
If the intervewer is a female...grope her breasts,as she will be complmented,and give you easy questions.
If you don't know the answer to a question don't say_ I don't know".That Will make you look stupid! Scream in the interviewers face " THAT IS NONE OF YOUR DAM BUSINESS!"

                Have fun...and don't wet your pants...( if you feel like your going to  pee...just whip it out!! That will show your indepence and intelligence! Wetting your pants would make you seem weak and foolish!) :smile:
Supernatural?...perhaps. Baloney?...Perhaps not!" Bela Lugosi-the BLACK CAT (1934)
Interviewer-"Does Dracula ever end for you?
Lugosi-"No. Dracula-never ends."
Slobber, Drool, Drip!
https://www.tumblr.com/ronmerchant

Scott

#6
April 18, 2007, 08:54:17 PM
That was all very very good advice :thumbup:.

KYGOTC

#7
April 18, 2007, 09:06:34 PM
Quote from: Trevor on April 18, 2007, 09:27:10 AM
:teddyr: Oh, blimey, no...................................!


I need an urgent makeover, new clothes, new teeth and new underpants, urgently.  :teddyr:



haha, when i first read this, i thought it said that your teeth need new underpants. :bouncegiggle:
"I'm a man too, you know! I go pee-pee standing up!"

Dennis

#8
April 18, 2007, 11:54:20 PM
Wish I could see the program my friend, have fun with it. :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup:

Reach for the heavens in hope for the future for all that we can be, not what we are. Henry John Deutschendorf Jr.

Trevor

#9
April 19, 2007, 02:59:28 AM
 :bouncegiggle:  :bouncegiggle:  :bouncegiggle:  :bouncegiggle:

Thanks, people, I haven't had a laugh like that in a while.

RCM ~ I think if I do projectile vomit, it will be the highlight of the taping. If I sneeze or pick my schnozz I will do what you suggested and maybe what Craig Berenson did on Snakes On A Plane.  :smile: If I need to pee and whip it out, people will yawn.  :teddyr:

Derf ~ Show my "well developed ribs and bones"? Never.  :teddyr:

Raffine ~ I will probably have to include Billy Jack as they've asked for some famous ones that were banned.

KYGOTC ~ all I can say is :bouncegiggle: :teddyr: :bouncegiggle: :teddyr: :bouncegiggle:

Fortunato ~ I was hoping for a hug and maybe a small chocolate bar, but there you go.  :teddyr:

Dennis ~ thanks, I will try to!
We shall meet in the place where there is no darkness.

dean

#10
April 19, 2007, 03:57:30 AM Last Edit: April 19, 2007, 03:59:06 AM by dean
Thanks to the glory of Youtube, I suggest you upload the interview.  Then we can start two seperate threads: one discussing the merits of your arguments and points to do with censorship etc, and one thread to discuss the merits of your choice of wig and whether or not staring blanky at the screen with a bit of drool dripping down your face for the entire interview was really a good choice or not...

Oh and I worry that buying new underpants is required for a tv interview... but it would make for great viewing to see the sordid answer...

------------The password will be: Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch

Trevor

#11
April 19, 2007, 07:41:17 AM
 :bouncegiggle: Thanks, Dean.  :teddyr:

I have just had my hair cut so the wig might be an option. The barber said "So how would you like your hair? Short, short or short?"  Me think me choose wrong option.  :buggedout:

I will try not to drool, but I really do need some new undies, brown ones for preference.  :teddyr:
We shall meet in the place where there is no darkness.

Raffine

#12
April 19, 2007, 10:16:38 AM
Just be sure to close the interview with a stirring a capella rendition of One Tin Soldier and everything will be just ducky!
If you're an Andy Milligan fan there's no hope for you.

Poogie

#13
April 19, 2007, 10:40:19 AM
You'll do just fine..........................................remember to wear a diaper.  :buggedout: :bouncegiggle:
Boogie...Boogie...Boogie...Boogie...  

Trevor

#14
April 25, 2007, 08:43:39 AM
 :bluesad:

No, it seems like I'm not going to be on TV after all, the company changed their plans after my bosses took too long to decide on this. So no TV for the Trevster.   :bluesad:

Now what on earth am I going to do with these second hand sets of teeth and all these pairs of hand-me-down patched and pee stained underpants?  :buggedout:

Help!  :buggedout:
We shall meet in the place where there is no darkness.
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