DUMB FILM you've seen in the last year ? HOUSE ON THE EDGE OF THE PARK

[CheezeFlixz]

Farce of the Penguin ....

[Raffine]

ALONE IN THE DARK (2005)

What's director Uwe Boll's epic all about?

Well...

In 1967, mine workers discovered the first remnants of a long lost Native American civilization - The Abkani. The Abkani believed that there are two worlds on this planet, a world of light and a world of darkness. 10,000 years ago the Abkani opened a gate between these worlds. Before they could close it, something evil slipped through. The Abkani mysteriously vanished from the Earth. Only a few artifacts remained, hidden in the world's most remote places. These artifacts speak of terrifying creatures that thrive in the darkness, waiting for the day when the gate can be opened again. Bureau 713, the government's paranormal research agency, was established to uncover the dark secrets of this lost civilization. Under the direction of archaeologist Lionel Hudgens, Bureau 713 began collecting Abkani artifacts. When the government shut down his controversial research, Hudgens built a laboratory hidden within an abandonded gold mine. There, he conducted savage experiments on orphaned children in an attempt to merge man with creature. Hudgens victims survived as "sleepers" - lost souls awaiting the moment of their calling. I heard that Uwe Boll character really must be a tool. I heard if you give his movies a bad review he'll punch you in the head. Boll challenged his critics in June 2006 to "put up or shut up". His production company issued a press release stating that Boll would challenge his 5 harshest critics each to a 10 round boxing match. To be eligible, the critic must have written two extremely negative reviews of Boll, in print or on the Web, in 2005. Footage of the fights will be included in his upcoming film Postal. Here's a great quote from the master, when asked about how game developers are involved in the making of his movie Postal: "Yeah they were very involved, this time too much involved, I wrote the script, it's their baby. They liked the treatment, but they didn't like the approach of some stuff, they thought it was too funny, but I said the only way to tell a story like Postal is to do it funny let people laugh. I don't want a movie like Taxi Driver where a guy is killing everybody, too many movies like that. Postal is a movie where everybody is running amok everyone has good reasons to run amok from the Welfare office guy to the Police officer. Coming up in two to three weeks, they will be really happy, like our cast... I think it will be hilarious." And the best Uwe Boll quote: "You see what happens when people get hit in the head? They like my movies!"
Thanks (?) to Trevor for bringing Uwe Boll to my attention.
Are we sure his original last name wasn't Polonia?

[Allhallowsday]

Well I've looked at another dumb film, SLEEPAWAY CAMP (1983) which I had seen way back when thru video rental, and must have blocked it out of my memory.  I sat thru all of it on IFC (of all places)  I knew exactly where it was going including it's deep dark, dank, secret ... each cheapo horrible murder, that wreck of a Camp Director Mel (Mike Kellin who died the year this film was made) the flipped out mother, the clueless stepbrother, boy, I'm making this silly movie sound good... the hideous, implausible, and unconvincing abuse heaped on one camper relates the message you are most certainly probably right to heap abuse on the quiet shy types.  I will say that the ending remains seriously creepy, but not in any good way.