Best Insults

[lester1/2jr]

"don't pay me, pay the bartender you ridiculous douche" Porky in "Porky's"

[ghouck]

"You insignifi-c*nt little f*ck" -Papa Joe in Boondock Saints

"Caught your act at the Velvet Room, Loved it when you broke into 'Viva Las Vegas'" -Rocco in Boondock Saints (Refering to Ronster's clothes resembling those of a bad Elvis inpersonator)

"What are your names, Neil and Bob, or is that what you do?" -Ford Fairlane

[Raffine]

"Well, well, well! Well if it isn't fat stinking billy goat Billy Boy in poison! How art thou, thou globby bottle of cheap stinking chip oil? Come and get one in the yarbles, if ya have any yarbles, ya eunuch jelly thou!"
Alex (Malcolm McDowell) - A CLOCKWORK ORANGE

"Are you eating a tomato or is that your nose?"
Charlie McCarthy (Himself) to Larson E. Whipsnade (W.C. Fields) - YOU CAN'T CHEAT AN HONEST MAN

[Dennis]

The Bandit, (Burt Reynolds) to Sheriff  Buford T. Justice, (Jackie Gleason)
"Sheriff, Do the letters F. O. mean anything to you ?"

Sheriff Buford T. Justice to his son,
"There is no way, no way you sprang from my loins, when we get home first thing I'm gonna do is punch your mama in the mouth !"

[LilCerberus]

  Zaphod Beeblebrox: "Listen, you semi-evolved simian! Will you crowbar this into your cro-magnon cranium?"

Chong: "You know man, when I die, I wanna be cremated. And then, like, when they get my ashes back, like, in a little baggie, I wanna be mixed with some really good $#*!, and I want all my friends to come around & smoke me!"
Cheech: "Yeah, well remind me not to be one of your friends when you die."

[D-Man]

I love the moment in Major League where Clu Heywood goes up to bat, shares a few words with Jake Taylor (Tom Berrenger), and out of the blue says "How's your wife, and my kids?" 

[Susan]

Gotta stick with the classics!

Now it isn't that I don't like you, Susan, because, after all, in moments of quiet, I'm strangely drawn toward you, but - well, there haven't been any quiet moments.
Bringing Up Baby (1938)

i feel like i've heard that line before 

[Inyarear]

These people know how to get their point across, don't they?

[Susan]

These people know how to get their point across, don't they?

is that danny bonoducci? lol

[Raffine]

I didn't miss any point. You're a moron; I got that on the first reading.
THAT 'RED DAWN' THREAD - Mernard (Himself)

 

[Jim H]

"You know what the difference between you and a bucket of crap is?


The bucket."

I can't remember where I heard it originally.

[ghouck]

"That looks like a penis, , only SMALLER"

-Hollywood knights. .

[Joe the Destroyer]

"Get f**ked, four-eyes!"
Shaun of the Dead

"I've never seen [a wang] that... old before..."
Primary Colors (as much as I hated this movie, this was one part that actually made me laugh)

"I can't go out to buy cigarettes without running into ten guys that you f**ked!"
Boondock Saints

[Dennis]

"I've never seen [a wang] that... old before..."
Primary Colors (as much as I hated this movie, this was one part that actually made me laugh)

In the rally scene in this movie they used the Tournament of Roses Band of which my daughter was a member. During a break in the filming Billy Bob Thorton walked over to the band and asked "Is this like a for real band?" to which Kari replied "Yes it is, are you like a for real actor."

[indianasmith]

There was a line in a recent Dilbert cartoon . . .


"I've produced bigger things than you by eating fiber!"