JACK O'LANTERN (2004)

[The Burgomaster]

This is another extremely low-budget, amateurish horror flick released on DVD by Lion's Gate.  A few months ago, I went on a spending spree and bought a bunch of these Lion's Gate DVD's including such immortal pieces of crap as MOTOR HOME MASSACRE, THE GRIM REAPER, FEAR OF CLOWNS, MR. JINGLES, and a few others.  JACK O'LANTERN is the 2nd worst of the batch of DVDs I bought at that time (KILLJOY is, by a wide margin, the worst, and DARK HARVEST 3: SCARECROW places 3rd, just behind JACK O' LANTERN).

The movie starts with a bunch of murders on Halloween.  Then we get the usual "1 year later" flashforward to October 26.  Oh, no, not another "count down the days until Halloween" movie!  But, yes, it's true.  We get a painstaking countdown from October 26 to October 31, showing what happens to a group of loathesome teenagers who keep referring to some deep, dark secret that they all share.  As the plot (????) develops, the days keep ticking by "October 27," "October 28," "October 29," and so on.

Meanwhile, one of their friends who was in a car accident on Halloween night a year earlier wanders around without speaking.  He has weird dreams and flashbacks accompanied by some poor editing and cheap visual effects.  He eventually regains his ability to speak, but continues to act weird.  Every once in awhile, we see a rubbery-headed pumpkin man with sharp teeth lurking around.  His head is really big and funny-looking - - he reminded me of the monsters in ATTACK OF THE MUSHROOM PEOPLE.

Everything about this movie is bad:  the concept, the script, the directing, the editing, the (limited) gore effects, and especially the acting.  A standout bad performance is at the beginning when a girl is being chased by someone or something . . . she completely over-acts during her brief scene of panic.  I was embarrassed for her.  In addition, there is one actor who just doesn't fit.  Based on his accent, he's obviously from the Boston area where I live.  Yet, the movie takes place in Mississippi.  I realize that there are probably a lot of people from Boston living in Mississippi.  But for the purpose of this movie, they should have hired a different actor.  His accent is really strong and doesn't fit.

And as the final slap in the face, the movie ends with yet ANOTHER "1 year later" segment.

There is also a featurette with cast and crew interviews and they all talk like this is a great movie, with a great concept, and some really scary scenes.  Yeah, right.

My advice to you is simple:  never, ever watch this movie.   

[Raffine]

DARK HARVEST 3: SCARECROW

My neighbor made that one! We sat out on the front porch and watched them film most of it in the field between our houses. They left the dummy 'Skarecrow' laying around and it spooked the horses.

The exterior of my house (and the front porch) are featured in it as the house of the crazy preacher! My sister changed dentists when she spotter her dental hygenist as the preacher's crazy daughter! I attended the 'World Premiere' and I got a free copy of the DVD!

Since then they've made two more movies featuring the likes of Gunnar Hansen, Edwin Neal, Reggie Bannister, Linnea Quigley, Lloyd Kaufman, etc. My house is in those, too! Gunnar and Reggie even filmed inside my house! I got to play a couple of bit parts! My cat Alice got to act with Gunnar!

Hurray for Hollywood!

[The Burgomaster]

Raffine:

I gave you a shot of karma just for admitting, without shame, that you are in any way connected with any of this stuff!

[Raffine]

Thanks, and 'Karma' back atcha for enduring the best that Lion's Gate has to offer.

Funny, I recall being very impressed (and, frankly, astonished) when I was told that movie had been picked up by Lion's Gate. Then I got the chance to see some more of their unique 'Homemade Horrors'... 

[AnubisVonMojo]

I was saw somewhere that Jack O' Lantern was just a renamed release of Jack-O. Having read your review, I realize now that that's not the case. I haven't seen the movie yet, but I wouldn't be the least bit surprised if you're spot on with how f'ing awful it really is. As such, I have no real reason for making this post, but on the topic of Jack-O, I'd just like to say that anyone who has access to a rental copy of this movie needs to rent it and write "ff" after the title on the videocasette or DVD. Just wanted to say that.