Most painful movies ever (a survey)

[Eric Jonas]

My friends and I were going to have a bad movie-centered end of school party and we were wondering which movies you recomend we select. The goal of the party is to watch ten or more movies in a row in a last man standing style contest to see who will be able to withstand fatigue, boredom, and defy his sense of taste and withstand more bad movies than any other.

To make this party work, however, we would like to enlist the aid of our fellow bad movie fans in picking out which movies are the most painful of them all, which will separate the men from the boys. Most of us are bad movie fans, and we could draw from our memories lists of painful, bad-awful movies, but we decided to try to avoid movies that we had already seen, thus making our decision making process considerably harder.

So, I ask you all: which of the movies that would probably be at our local video stores are the worst of the worst? Which are, in your opinions, the hardest to stomach in one sitting?

Thanks for whatever help you can offer.

[Steven Millan]

    "Showgirls", "Freddy Got Fingered", "Cecil B Demented"(what the hell has happened to John Waters after "Serial Mom"?!), any(big,medium,and small name) franchise horror sequel(with the exception of "Phantasm" and Hammer Films' Draucla and Frankenstein movies),the action classics of Lorenzo Lamas,Ice-T,Richard Greico,and Don "The Dragon" Wilson,and any recent films of Albert Pyun(with this dude,any film except "Sword And The Sorcerer" and the first "Nemesis"),David DeCoteau,Jim Wynorski(under his Jay Andrews alias)and Fred Olen Ray(under his Scott Sherman,Ed Raymond,and Rodney McDonald alias)are a guaranteed good start for your little all-night survival festival(sounds like it'll be too horribly schlocky for any girls to endure,I can see).

[chris]

Here's a list of ten I had trouble sitting through that are out on video:

1.  The Phantom Menace
2.  Suicide Kings
3.  The Jerky Boys Movie
4.  New Rose Hotel
5.  Night of the Living Dead 30th Anniversary Edition
6.  Hannibal
7.  Blow
8.  Only You
9.  Any Full Moon Video excluding Trancers, Parasite and Tourist Trap
10. Dangerous Minds

And I think these are out on video, but are tough to find, and I defy anyone to sit through them, as I foolishly did

Sombre
Zombie '90
Zombie Holocaust (The 1995 straight to video one)
Millenium Mambo

[Chadzilla]

Edge of Sanity with Anthony Perkins.  It's painful, believe me.

[The Bard]

Its hard to think of anything more Painfull then "Car 54 Where are you" The Movie. Rosie O'Donnell and the main charector have the two worst voices ever to be featured in a film. Make sure you wrap any glass in something soft before watching.

[Bree]

Dario Argento's Inferno---you'll get a headache trying to figure out the plot.

The Guyver

Don't Answer the Phone

Exit to Eden, starring Rosie O'Donnell in a black leather corset. But I have to give her props for agreeing to wear that for the public to see.

Sliver

Mausoleum---a truly, truly cruddy movie

The Uninvited--the one starring George Kennedy

The Incredible 2-Headed Transplant

The Thing With Two Heads

Big Bad Mama II

Specimen

[systemcr4sh]

Two Words:

STAR CRYSTAL

'Nuff Said.

-Dan

[MBrando]

Well, just because someone puts something on film that last about 80 minutes and up dosn't mean its a "film". Anyway here's my list.

Eraserhead (just to start things off)
Mesa of Lost Woment (this will hurt)
They Saved Hitlers Brain (you start getting on each others nerves)
Battlefield Earth (by this time you'll have lost your minds)
Howard the Duck (you start seaching for the meaning of life)
She Devils on Wheels (it won't help)
Beast of Yucca Flats( just to keep you curious)
Robot Monster(this will glue you to the set)
Frogs (to lure you into a fail sense of security)
Day of the Animals(this could push you completely over the edge)
Orgy of the Dead(joy joy !!!)
Glen or Glenda (for those still kicking this is your reward )

[ErikJ]

If  you must then Satan's Storybook. I never was able to make it through the movie. It's just so damn bad. If you want to claw out your eyes or bang your head against a stone wall then view. BUT don't say you were not warned. I pray for your soul.

[jmc]

Gotta agree with THEY SAVED HITLER'S BRAIN.

EXORCIST II: THE HERETIC is painful, but only because you laugh so hard while watching it.

[Nathan]

"9. Any Full Moon Video excluding Trancers, Parasite and Tourist Trap"

None of which are technically Full Moon movies -- produced by Charles Band, but before he came up with the Full Moon label/franchise.

There are some good Full Mooners, though -- Castle Freak and The Pit and the Pendulum are both excellent (probably because they're both directed by Stuart Gordon).

Nathan

[Nathan]

And then the coup de grace:

I Stand Alone.

Bad in a completely different way -- a whiny, pretentious, self-indulgent, Gallic way.  Anyone who's built up a callus on the other movies will be caught completely off-guard.

Nathan

[Kyla]

Steven Millan wrote:
(sounds like it'll be too horribly schlocky for any girls to endure,I can see).

oh really!?!!?
i am not sure how you meant this (don't worry i am not p**sed) but just so you know there are SOME girls out there, including me, that CAN sit through horrible movie marathons like this

for some strange reason.... i can watch ANY movie all the way through... i have tortured myself way too many times... but what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, right?

(trust me.. this trait p**ses my roommates off soo bad! ahahaha but they gotta get over it cause once i start a movie i won't turn it off til the credits roll, (gawd i am sick.....))

[Redjack]

I can't imagine anything more painful than  'The Parasite'   a really putrid movie about some wacko studying hypnosis...   I've seen 6th grade school plays that made more sense and were better acted.  

To date its the only DVD i've ever put out of its misery with a shotgun blast.

[StatCat]

I was going to say that too about them not technically being full moon movies. Puppet Master 1-3 and Subspecies are probably the best movies they ever did. There's some other decent ones I like too but it seemed as time went on their movies got worse.

I'd say if you really want someone to suffer, sit through:

Hobgoblins (I sure did, inane in every category)
a*p*e*  (bad korean kaiju, yonggary isn't too great etiher.)
The Howling New Moon Rising
curse of the screaming dead
zombie 90
night of the zombies 2
the neon maniacs
oasis of the zombies
a virgin among the living dead
any Todd Sheets movie (although I kind of like zombe bloodbath 2)
etc.