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Joust Going from Arcades to Theaters

Started by Torgo, August 29, 2007, 09:02:42 PM

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Torgo

http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/transformers_the_movie/news/1666727/

This is either the worst or most unintentionally brilliant movie idea ever.   I'm a long time fan of Joust but how could this make a good movie?

I keep thinking of the Futurama episode in which they did the whole bit on if life was really like a video game........
"There is no way out of here. It'll be dark soon. There is no way out of here."

Joe the Destroyer

This is either going to be extremely crappy, or it's going to be another Clue, which was brilliant, IMO.

Inyarear

Well, there's no real story to the video game of Joust. As I recall, it was one of the play-faster-and-harder-until-you-drop games where the main objective was getting the high score. As such, there isn't really any plot to be butchered. That stands in the movie's favor.

At the same time, unless this Marc Gottlieb has enough talent for writing a story and a sufficiently vivid imagination to make it visually appealing, the movie's not going to sell. The "Gladiator meets Mad Max" description holds out the slight possibility that there might actually be something worth seeing about this film, but I would have thought it more encouraging if they had described the story as "Star Wars meets The Running Man" and targeted it at the nostalgic arcade gamers who actually played this game (most of whom--including myself--are over 25). It would also help if the movie were intended to precede the release of a 3D remake of the game; stadium games do appeal to a good many of the younger gamers they are evidently hoping to snag with this film.

I do think a good movie could be made from this game, in other words, but I won't be holding my breath in hopes that it will. Something very entertaining could easily have been made from Doom too, but it wasn't. Hollywood's people who make things happen have gotten very lazy and very sloppy with their work lately.

AnubisVonMojo

I kept saying that someone should make a movie based on Joust just to be an ass when people asked me what video games should be made into movies... I guess someone's been watching... and doesn't understand the concept of sarcasm...  :tongueout:

"Don't make me stain my last clean shirt with the back of your head." - Shatter Dead
"A grizzly bear with a chainsaw. Now THERE's a killing machine!" - The Simpsons
"I've always wanted to make love to an angry welder." - Jaws: the Revenge

Torgo

Quote from: AnubisVonMojo on September 01, 2007, 10:08:28 PM
I kept saying that someone should make a movie based on Joust just to be an ass when people asked me what video games should be made into movies... I guess someone's been watching... and doesn't understand the concept of sarcasm...  :tongueout:

Be careful what you ask for is the motto that I live by more and more as I get older, even if I'm just being sarcastic.   :tongueout:
"There is no way out of here. It'll be dark soon. There is no way out of here."

Torgo



Just think of the plot possibilities by looking at that screenshot!!!!!!!!
"There is no way out of here. It'll be dark soon. There is no way out of here."

Inyarear


Well hey, just imagine how this game could be made to look if it were 3D!

Basic plot of the movie (I'm speculating):

In the future, extraterrestrials have enslaved humanity and forced all humans into a bloody spectator sport in which the human males are forced to battle to the death against strange extraterrestrials whose males are feathery reptilian humanoids and females are ostrich-like birds. Human victors get their choice of breeding partners and other perks, but victory is only temporary and death is the only retirement.

Now, due to a lapse in security, a young human girl and her new reptilian humanoid boyfriend have joined forces and come up with a plan to save both their races from the horrible slaughter of the game. If they can find a way to release the hermaphroditic and extremely fertile extraterrestrial predators known as "pterodactyls" their captors have lately introduced into the game out into the wilds of their alien world (and away from the stasis fields that had previously kept their population in check), these very fertile creatures will soon plunge the entire planet into chaos as they breed out of control.

Little do they know the pterodactyls are sentient, and have an agenda of their own... Will the various races be able to reconcile their plans with each other? Find out in this exciting action extravaganza!

(Actually, I doubt Marc Gottlieb has come up with anything like this. This is the synopsis I'd turn in if I were asked to brainstorm a plot and a DVD case blurb for this movie, though.)