Beneath Loch Ness

[Andrew]

Picked this up because, hey, it was supposed to be a monster movie.  The viewing did not go well; in fact, Katie even got angry and went to bed.  I think she blames me!

The first problem is the amount of monster in my monster movie.  In other words: not much.  Considering that the beastie was CGI, vice stop motion, the almost total lack of good monster screen time is a little mystifying.

Next problem was the editing.  Confusion reigned supreme, especially early on, on account of a true hack job.  At some point the creature attacks some Nessie impersonators (they are swimming a fake, floating likeness around the Loch) and we don't see the attack at all!

Lysette Anthony (Lyssa from Krull) was totally unrecognizable too, until I checked the movie credits.

If you want to see a better "dinosaur in a pond" movie, watch "The Crater Lake Monster."  Never thought I might be saying that.

Andrew

[Foywonder]

This movie is so dopey and delirously incoherent I actually liked it. God help me, but I did.

You wanna see funny? Go to IMDB and look it up and see nothing but review after review of p**sed off Scots since this movie apparently got released in Scotland before us. I think we caused an international incident over this one. It got so ugly that the movie's director himself posted a rebuttal trying to both defend the film and deny responsibility at the same time.

Needless to say, I've already written up a review for this film that will be appearing in my bad movie column at New Orleans Worst Film Festival site ( www.nowff.com ) within the next week. Even I have to say this is going to be a good review because Lord knows this movie gave me so much cannon fodder to work with.

[Squishy]

Oh, Holy Father: if Beneath Loch Ness is actually worse than The Crater Lake Monster, then surely these are the End Times.

(runs out door to find it before the brimstone falls)

[Foywonder]

Beneath Loch Ness is just gleefully incoherent and watchably bad whereas The Crater Lake Monster is just duller than dirt and virtually unwatchable.

[Flangepart]

Sounds like a flick i should get. Made a few refrences to Tim the Enchanter, humm? Any movie with scots in is gold by me. Love the accent, and the attitude of the scots if refresingly informal. Do a double feature with Crater Lake Monster.....oh,better whip up some haggis first. Haggis an' Guinnes, only a rrrreal man Kin handle it!

[Foywonder]

It was filmed in California with American actors doing bad Scottish accents.

[Flangepart]

Well, that explains why the Scots are hacked off. Among other things, like say, England.

[Nathan]

"It got so ugly that the movie's director himself posted a rebuttal trying to both defend the film and deny responsibility at the same time."

An acolyte of Gary Goddard, obviously...

Nathan

[Nathan]

Hey, that's the only kind of Scottish accents Americans know.

Nathan

[mogwai]

alistairmuir
Haggis Mctaggart Land

Date: 10 July 2001
Summary: This is not Scotland

-99% of this film was set in the USA.

-99% of the actors in this film are bad American actors pretending to be Scots.

-All of the Americans playing Scots in this film have stereotypically incorrect characters.

-I could make a better film than this less than a day.

-They showed the same Nessie computer animation at least 8 times.

-Scots are not all bearded hostile excentrics that look like Andy Goram.

-Thats why this film is such a great laugh(for all the wrong reasons!)