The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003)

[Mr_Vindictive]

Oh, Roger Ebert is an uptight, foreign film worshiping jerk who hates anything having to do with the horror/slasher genre.  Anything with even a little bloodshed and boobs for entertainment is going to offend him, so of course he'd be outraged by the TCM remake.   

Critics in general suck anyway (The mainstream ones, not the kind of people here  ) because thanks to them, movies can't just be fun to watch.  They have to be all serious and up their own asses for these people to like them, which is why we keep seeing the same old boring films with political messages year after year. 

Anyway...the TCM remake was a pretty decent work.  The original will always have a disturbing atmosphere about it, but I admired how the remake upped the ante with the gore.  The only thing that disappointed me was how you still didn't get a good bloody shot of Leatherface tearing somebody up with that chainsaw.  Sure, you saw a couple of limbs hacked off with the thing, but other times it was the same off-camera killings as in the original when he brought it down on the body. Damn it, I wanna see him just rip somebody to shreds with that thing on camera, nice and messy.  Is it really THAT hard for FX artists to pull off these days? 

As for Jessica Biel...gotta love the random excuses for a wet shirt in films like this...first she gets caught in those sprinklers, she goes outside...and all of a sudden it's raining!  Of course!  I could not stop laughing when that happened.  It's just so cheap and obvious, but still...boobs is boobs.   

It's not that it's hard for the FX guys to do it (did KNB do these effects??) but it's a matter of getting an R rating.  I have a feeling that showing Leatherface rip into someone with a chainsaw would displease the MPAA.

[HappyGilmore]

I like the remake.  Decent.  Don't really see the negative. 

[Jack]

Oh, Roger Ebert is an uptight, foreign film worshiping jerk who hates anything having to do with the horror/slasher genre.  Anything with even a little bloodshed and boobs for entertainment is going to offend him, so of course he'd be outraged by the TCM remake.   

Critics in general suck anyway (The mainstream ones, not the kind of people here  ) because thanks to them, movies can't just be fun to watch.  They have to be all serious and up their own asses for these people to like them, which is why we keep seeing the same old boring films with political messages year after year. 

Never has the proverbial nail been hit so squarely on the head my friend!  Karma for you 

[Torgo]

The only thing that I liked about the remake was R. Lee Ermey's fun performance and Jessica Biel's nicely toned body.

Other than those 2 things, I just didn't think that it worked at all.

[DistantJ]

Definitely a thumbs up from me. TCM is one of the best horror remakes out there.