PREHISTORIC BIMBOS IN ARMAGEDDON CITY (1991)

The Burgomaster · November 22, 2007, 08:02:56 PM

This movie is included in the DECREPIT CRYPT OF NIGHTMARES 50 movie pack.

First of all, it's a real stretch to consider this a "movie." It's an extremely amateurish, shot on video flick with terrible acting, editing, camera work, fight choreography, dialogue, sets, and costumes (did I miss anything). Your average group of teenagers with a video camera could have made this movie. In fact, they DID!

Let's start with the costumes. The "prehistoric bimbos" wear cut-off denim shorts, sandals, torn pieces of cloth, and furry brassieres. Basically, whatever the "actors" happened to be wearing that day, supplemented with stuff from the local Halloween costume store.

They wander around the "ruins" of Armageddon City (where you can see an occasional train or car driving around in the background). Occasionally, they battle the bad guys using martial arts (yeah, right), spears, clubs, and what-have-you. These "fight" scenes basically involve the cast shoving each other around and throwing punches and kicks that miss their targets by several inches.

"Humor" includes characters looking at the camera and making references to making a sequel.

At the end of the movie, they flash a phone number on the screen for the "production company" (my guess is this number goes directly to the producer or director's mother's house, where he probably still lives). I'm thinking of calling this number to see if it is still in service. If someone answers, I'll say, "you MUST be kidding me."

This is a bad, bad, bad and boring 1 hour and 9 minute experience. If you don't believe me, watch it for yourself . . .

316zombie · November 23, 2007, 03:12:14 PM

i assume this is a spoof review?of amazon women in the avocado jungle?do i win a prize?

Andrew · November 23, 2007, 05:22:57 PM

No, it appears that Burgo stumbled upon a no-budget film that barely qualifies to be called a movie. Those are some of my least favorites, too. "Zombie Night" (a trade from, CheezeWiz) falls into the category. One of the ones that really got my goat was "Weasels Rip My Flesh."

Anyway, the IMDb page for the topic movie:

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0196867/

The Burgomaster · November 24, 2007, 08:51:31 AM

Quote from: 316zombie on November 23, 2007, 03:12:14 PM
i assume this is a spoof review?of amazon women in the avocado jungle?do i win a prize?

Nope. Andrew is correct. This is a movie that is actually available in one of Mill Creek's 50 movie sets. I'm sure I will find some equally bad movies in these sets. (Check out my recent comments about LAS VEGAS BLOODBATH). Last night, I watched about half of a movie titled TERROR TOONS (which, although cheap, has some ambitious visual effects). I will post some comments about it here when I finish watching it.

Check out www.millcreekent.com and clic on the "Pendulum Pictures" link. Then check out the DECREPIT CRYPT OF NIGHTMARES and TOMB OF TERRORS 50 movie packs for complete listings of the low (or no) budget movies available on each. I bought both sets and will be suffering through them over the coming months . . .

The Burgomaster · November 24, 2007, 08:57:35 AM

Quote from: Andrew on November 23, 2007, 05:22:57 PM

Anyway, the IMDb page for the topic movie:

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0196867/

Andrew - - thanks for this link. I just looked at the director's credits and several of his other movies are also included in the Mill Creek 50 movie sets I mentioned above. God help me . . .

Here's an old article I found that mentions some of the titles for which the old "Video Outlaw" company is responsible. (Many, if not all of them, are in the Mill Creek boxed sets!)

TEMPE SELLS VIDEO OUTLAW DIVISION (9/27/98): Tempe Entertainment today announced that effective September 1st, 1998 it has liquidated its Video Outlaw line of product. The division, known for shot-on-video movies "so bad there oughtta be a law," is being sold to Tempe's former partners at E.I. Independent Cinema. The deal includes the liquidation of 12 titles: DEAD IS DEAD, GOBLIN, PREHISTORIC BIMBOS IN ARMAGEDDON CITY, THE WITCHING, SORORITY BABES IN THE DANCE-A-THON OF DEATH, DOMINION, ZOMBIE RAMPAGE, BIMBOS B.C., NIGHTMARE ASYLUM, EDGAR ALLAN POE'S MADHOUSE, REDNECK COUNTY FEVER and REANIMATOR ACADEMY. Tempe's sale to E.I. includes all domestic and foreign rights as well as the logo and name "Video Outlaw," which E.I. plans to continue selling the no-budget movies under.

316zombie · November 25, 2007, 07:15:46 PM

how cool!!!! i really thought it was a spoof,lol!i NEED those boxsets...many will suffer,or they'll go away,which is one of the reasons i put bad movies on the player...

peter johnson · November 25, 2007, 07:36:28 PM

One thing, though --
Click on Mike Hellman on the IMDB page you're listing here -- They've done a bunch of moives, all with the same people working together --
Obviously, someone is watching. Someone cares enough to buy their product, otherwise, none of these other films would be listed.
Frankly, as one who's struggled for etc. and continues to do so, to have a credit list like that ain't bad --
peter johnson/denny crane

The Burgomaster · November 25, 2007, 08:17:07 PM

Quote from: peter johnson on November 25, 2007, 07:36:28 PM
Obviously, someone is watching. Someone cares enough to buy their product

If you watch this movie, I think you'll agree that not many people "care." This is REALLY LOW-GRADE stuff. Very amateur. Like home movies. My guess is that 90% of the people who have seen this (and their other flicks):

1. Were deceived by the title and/or box cover and bought or rented it only to be unpleasantly surprised or

2. Bought it as part of a 50 movie pack (like I did) and therefore really didn't have much choice . . . you can't separate it from the pack.

Other than their friends and family, I really doubt people are "fans" or "care" about these movies. If you get your hands on a copy you'll see what I mean.

nshumate · November 25, 2007, 10:41:03 PM

Ah, Todd Sheets -- the man, the legend.

Kester Pelagius · November 26, 2007, 12:04:26 PM

Quote from: The Burgomaster on November 25, 2007, 08:17:07 PM
Quote from: peter johnson on November 25, 2007, 07:36:28 PM
Obviously, someone is watching. Someone cares enough to buy their product

If you watch this movie, I think you'll agree that not many people "care." This is REALLY LOW-GRADE stuff. Very amateur. Like home movies. My guess is that 90% of the people who have seen this (and their other flicks):

1. Were deceived by the title and/or box cover<...>

And what cover art it had!

There's a trailer online: http://www.emaximmedia.com/inat/bigpicture.php?id=6054

BTW this may actually have been either A) partly re-edited from an earlier feature or B) be a loose sequel to a flick called, believe it or not: Bimbos B.C..

Trailer: http://www.emaximmedia.com/inat/bigpicture.php?id=6033

The Burgomaster · November 26, 2007, 02:50:46 PM

Quote from: Kester Pelagius on November 26, 2007, 12:04:26 PM

And what cover art it had!

Yup - - the cover is 100 times better than the actual movie . . .

316zombie · November 26, 2007, 04:59:37 PM

peter/denny,
i collect indie horror,and i'm backing you all the way,there ARE people who appreciate no budget movies,and i can prove it,too!many years ago,i helped out a bit on a movie called the darkness,directed by a young man named leif.20 years later,it was released on dvd with the title"darkness:the vampire version",you can find it on netflix!some money has been made by most involved,and i believe leif has done a few more movies,as well.there are indie sellers on ebay who do pretty well for themselves,due to folks like me,lol! i wish you luck in your endeavors,and which one of you do i google to find your movies?
zombie