B-movie plots/hooks that you detest.

[The Burgomaster]

My vote goes to the "indestructible killer" movies.  When I see the killer get shot or stabbed or electrocuted and then open his eyes, reach out, and grab the ankle of the person who shot, stabbed or electrocuted him, I just want to throw a heavy object at the TV (or theater) screen.

[Mofo Rising]

My vote goes to the "indestructible killer" movies.  When I see the killer get shot or stabbed or electrocuted and then open his eyes, reach out, and grab the ankle of the person who shot, stabbed or electrocuted him, I just want to throw a heavy object at the TV (or theater) screen.

Or the corollary, where the characters don't ensure that the killer/monster/chainsaw-wielding maniac is dead. You've already shot him once, shoot him several more times. In the head. Then bludgeon him.

[BTM]

Well, it's not really B-Movies, but I always hated the films that depict "unpopular" girls who, in real life, would have every guy in the freaking school asking them out.  (And yes, that includes the cliqued, "Get rid of the glasses and change her hairstyle and suddenly she's beautiful" s**t that Not Another Teen Movie parodied pretty well.)

I also hate all those "Guy who's too dumb to realize how lucky he is gets a Valuable Life Lesson".  Basically, the It's a Wonderful Life or "Working too hard and neglecting his family" dad films.  For example, take the film Click, got a guy, wonderful wife, two beautiful kids, but he pretty ignores them all the time.  Yeah, I know if MY wife looked like Kate Beckinsale, I'd be spending a lot of time at work.  And so, he has to undergone this whole dramatic cliched journey to realize how much he's taking things for granted.

Hell, I'd like to see them do the same movie with a guy who really DOES have it rough.  A lonely fellow with NO wife, NO kids, and only a few (or ever no) friends.  I love to see an angel take him back to the past only to find that, if the guy had never been born then, well, not much would be different.  (Sort of like that ep of Married With Children.)

Another plot hook I hate, the "See this movie cause it has hot chicks, but it's rated PG-13."  Coyote Ugly is a good example.  Yeah, it's got five nice chicks in it, but let's face it, they're not going to show boobs, so, what's the point?  If the movie had a PLOT that anyone would care about, I could understand, but they're trying to bank the film on T&A when we know there won't be any!

[Justy]

On the issue of Boobs we must remember the medium which we are talking about. We are not discussing fine cinema, we're talking about B-Movies. B-Movies for good or for awesome requires a certain level of gratuitous breast activity. Mind you, it's not a requirement. I don't need to see boobs to enjoy a B-Movie flick, it's just a familiar landmark that you learn to recognize.

Talking about Lilith from a few posters back, she's in the movie for your friends or acquaintences who always need to bring up the issue of the apocryphal books of the Bible. Yes, yes, we know, we know.

Let's see what annoys me... yes the "prophecy". The prophecy which speaks of a hero / heroine, who by fullfilling the prophecy can destroy the imbecile forces of evil. It's not like Satan hasn't known about the sword in the old museum that is really artifact brought to Earth by the Archangel Gabriel. You'd think that he'd have done something about that sword say oh, 5000 years ago. In addition, if the forces of good knew how destroy evil all along, why do you have to wait for the shepherd or the hick in his pickup truck to do all these stupid prophesied requirements. Sheesh...

[DistantJ]

I hate the whole thing where a male and female survive some kind of ordeal and therefore HAVE to end up together! It's like "We survived this! THAT MUST MEAN WE'RE DATING! *makeout*" Sometimes when there's been no hint of any kind of 'romance' between them in the film.

[DARKTIGER]

My vote is with Yabbo's about female vampires movie I hate them. I just lost count how many there are it's the same plot lesbian vampire always takes a man's girlfriend he's getting married too or his already wife and turn them into one. Why can't there be a bifemale vampire movie? Those would'nt bore me to death.

[LilCerberus]

How's about when an irreplaceable prototypal android/weapon escapes/is stolen/is destroyed, only for a backup to appear out of nowhere.

[damnote]

REMAKES!!!

[Fishasaurus]

One thing that wrecks a movie for me is when a motley crew of misfits -- or, hey, experts for that matter -- take on the menace and spend more time wisecracking than they do busting butts.

Another is when there's a pitched battle between the hero and the menace, the hero gets knocked unconscious, and the menace just lets him sleep it off  instead of dusting him.

Just once I would like to see all the odious child actors dispatched by the menace -- say, the T. rex in Jurassic Park.  That would have ruled.

[LilCerberus]

Cat People wasn't so bad. 

REMAKES!!!

[Dennis]

I have been watching "B" movies for a while now and I'm willing to put up with a lot of unreasonably stupid plot ideas as long as they're at least semi-believable within the context of the story. There are however some things that drive me crazy. When the military are called in, is it too much to ask for a little authenticity in dress and equipment, also I've never really liked Hollywood weapons that only run out of ammunition when the character carrying it is about to die. I know it's one of the rules of monster movies but just once I'd like to see the gorgeous almost naked girl who knows something is out there, and hears a weird noise, not go out into the dark night armed with only a flashlight and a swiffer brush to fight some slobbering monster. As far as nudity goes I'm not opposed to looking but I find that as I've gotten older there's got to be a reason, however unbelievable, for it, something more than the obvious "If we show some naked babes we'll get an R rating and all the adolescent boys will spend money to see them"
This doesn't add anything to the movie and while I don't mind watching it's not why I choose to view a film. Other than these things there is very little about "B" movies I won't go along with, I even find it not unreasonable that a grasshopper the size of a bus can sneak up on 3 people, helps a lot if one of them is deaf though.

[Intangible Skeleton]

I love the unkillable bad guy. In some cases you're still kept guessing by how many times they're going to do it.


I might be alone in that nothing in particular annoys me too much in b movies. I mean, it's a b movie! As long as it's crazy and not generally dull, I don't care if the annoying geek survives, or the monster wastes time posing - it's all part of the show.

[Ozzymandias]

Ozzymandias speaks: A reading of the will or seance on a stormy night in an old mansion with a killer gorilla walking around. I think this is a 1930's poverty row plot line.

Ozzymandias has spoken!!!

[Fishasaurus]

Any menace that can be defeated by a frikkin' ross and holy water is frikkin' pathetic.  I'm looking at you, Freddy Kreuger.

[Oldskool138]

I've got one.  A D-grade has-been celebrity playing him or herself in the movie.  I saw one a while back where Scott Baio played himself.