Batman vs. Superman: A stupid concept

[Tommy]

Batman vs. Superman: A stupid concept
A Batman vs. Superman movie would be boring and short if approached realistically.  Batman would be dead in a second if Superman was to turn villianous.  Supes can move at speeds rendering himself invisible.  Killing Batman would be like us squashing an ant.

DC Comics has all these stupid stories of how Batman would be able to topple Superman or other super hero types.  Gimme a break.  Contrary to popular belief, Batman has super powers.  Yeah, really.  How many men do you know can leap from buildings, swing from sky scrapers and also jump from them. NONE... At least Spiderman has super-strength which explains why his arms don't rip off while swinging from buildings.  Also, remember how Batman broke loose when the Incredible Hulk had him in a full-nelson?  He attacked the Hulk’s nerves... How lame...  Tanks, bombs and super villians can’t even scratch the Hulk, but Batman can stun him with a kick in the nerves.  I didn’t know the Hulk had nerves?

Superman's arsenal is just too incredible.  There are so many ways Supes can defeat Bats that it’s almost rediculous to pit the two.  DC and Warner Bros. only motive is that they are marquee characters.  But here a few ways in which Superman could creme Batman without much effort.

1) Blow Batman’s head off with a puff of air.
2) Flick any small object at Batman, which would go straignt through him.
3) Just fry Batman with his heatray.
4) Throw a mountainside onto Wayne Manor.
5) Spit at Batman, the saliva would act the same as shotgun pellets.
6) Fart at Batman, you can figure the rest...
7) Clap at Batman, creating a sonic wave.
8) Sneeze at Batman, the Caped Crusader would be blown away... No longer caped.

The list goes on etc... If anyone has more to add, please do...

[Squishy]

Tommy, the board is now structured so that replying to an existing thread will move it to the top. A "Batman vs Superman" thread already exists. This thread and your second "Godzilla Sucks!" thread are wastes of board space.

[Steven Millan]

            YeahTommy,it looks like that old "Godzilla" trend of somebody fighting somebody has been thoroughly resurrected(a sub-genre that hasn't been used in over 20 years)as the next big Hollywood thing,since everybody is painfully groaning about way too many oncoming gratuitious remakes,and TV shows becoming big screen movies,clogging up the theatrical screens.

[Tommy]

Squishy, talk to me when you have something important to say.  I rest my case.

[Squishy]

Just use related threads when they are available, Tommy. This is largely a "free" board, but not wholly unmoderated; Andrew won't hesitate to get rid of those who abuse it. I've seen it happen.

If you don't think that's important, by all means ignore it; learn the hard way.

[justsomeguy]

dude you are right. Superman would annihilate Batman! I'm tired of telling people that. They always say "no, batman is to smart for superman."  UH, BULLs**t!  
It don't matter how smart you are. Superman moves so fast that before batman could say great scott superman could
9) fly at batman at supersonic speed and pull out his heart and show it to him
10) grab batman and fly into space and watch him explode
11) grab batman in a bear hug and split him in two
12) grab batman in a head lock and pop off his head
etc.

[littlenemo]

Hey...Batman may not be much of a challenge for superman. But Batman never DIED..

[Tommy]

Batman never had to fight someone like doomsday.  Yeah... Why didn't the JLA call Batman?

[ErikJ]

Is it me or doesn't anyone remember when Batman had his back broken by Bain in the Knightfall saga? They had to get a stand in to replace him and he did what Bruce couldn't do, beat Bain.

[Tommy]

Batman’s No Genius
by Tommy “Hate You”
If Batman’s such a genius, why can’t he catch the Joker.  I mean c’mon Batman’s a forensics expert, a master of criminology and detective.  And if I remember correctly, the Joker is merely a 2-bit hoodlum turned psycho.  It’s ironic because most of Batman’s villains are dim-witted fools (like the Scare Crow â€" no brains, all straw) and they get away all the time.  Meanwhile Superman’s arch nemesis, Lex Luthor, is at least a mastermind criminal.

If you read any of the older Superman comics, the late 70’s to 80’s, the writers conveyed that Superman uses his deductive mind more so than his strength.  In several issues this is even noted.  It makes sense, after all Superman is descended from a far more advanced society.  This all changed, along with DC personnel, when DC Comics decided to capitalize on their other franchise character â€" Batman, or Bats.  Batman was always making derogatory remarks about Superman, especially aimed at his intelligence.  It was an ego boost, you can’t beat the man so you mock him.  Finally, Frank Miller’s Dark Knight series gave Bats the chance he had been waiting for, a chance to knock off Superman.  DC was ingenious.  The fans bought the whole idea.  Everyone bought into the Batman vs. Superman dilemma.  This was DC’s master plan to get fans from both corners to buy both issues.  People loved it, because DC kept reminding everyone that, like us, Batman’s human and he can kick anyone’s ass, including the Hulk, the Predator, Captain America, Carnage, Superman and the rest of the JLA.

DC’s Batman is far from human though.  He can swing from buildings without Spider Strength.  His reflexes are faster Spider sense... Yep, as fast as Carnage is, leave it to old Bats to knock him out.  He holds his breath longer than Auquaman.  And he’s a lot stronger than the Hulk.

The whole idea of Batman has been so twisted of late.  I enjoyed Batman when he was portrayed on a more human plane.  I prefer the Adam West or the Scooby Doo Batman over the “new” Super-Batman.  At least in those context, Batman seemed vulnerable and human.

Superman is the Levis of jeans, the Hulk Hogan of wrestling.  He’s the mode that all other super heroes and villains alike, are made after.  Why DC has decided to belittle their marquee character is a mystery, but not unbelievable.  It’s all about the money.

[AndyC]

The only way I can see a Batman vs. Superman movie working is if they are set up as rivals, rather than opponents. For whatever reason, they both try to stop the same villain using their different methods. Batman dismisses Superman as a pretty boy who'd be nothing without his powers, and Superman considers Batman to be a dangerously unbalanced vigilante. I suppose they'd have to work together in the end, so as not to bug their respective fans.

Something similar to this was done for an animated TV show not too long ago. While the actual episode wasn't great, the basic idea was good.

[wuggles451]

you forget supes nor batman kill... and batman is the only person alive who supes trusts with *gulp* the superman parilyzing kryptonite... ill shut up now im asking to have my ass handed to me.

[laitka]

Bryce - agreed!!

These are basically the "good guys" were talking about.  What's the point of even hypothesising?  I'm sure that all of the "he could spit at batman..." blah blah blah could work but the better question is - why the hell would he??

[Tommy]

Because it's a stupid movie trying to cash in on franchise heroes.

[Drezzy]

Tommy, I think it's time to move on...