Mars Needs Women!

[CheezeFlixz]

MARS NEEDS WOMEN! Yeah well who doesn't. I got this little 'gem' a while back and never had time to watch it, so we spent New Year's Eve watching B-Movie .. and the 'B' in this case means bad! Real bad, lame, sucky, boring, a snooze-fest.

The movie starts out with the main star being a speaker, not a guy speaking, but a speaker blasting out everything going on. WE go to an overacting Air Force Col and a stiff listing to him and they decrypt a secret message from Mars! Mars Needs Women! Will sure enough 3 women in 3 different scenes poof disappear! no cool special effect sounds, no boing or whirly sounds, nothing just poof there gone. 2 of the women were with men who at the time were distracted while this happened and one was in the shower.
Will seem they didn't make and Mars must spent real live spacemen to get some women. Never said what happened to the first three, just didn't make it. Maybe they ended up on Venus with Zsa Zsa Gabor in "Queen of Outer Space" So the space clowns arrive wearing what appears to be scuba suits with AM headphones on them, only after about 15 minutes of old grainy and scratchy stock footage is shown of old F series jets looking for them and the spacemen's with their the scuba suits appear to be painted as it's flaking off right on film. They got one pretty snazzy space ship too, Ed Wood would be proud. So long painful story short, the Mars men get a few women and sedate them to take them to Mars except for our head space goof how after only 24 hours that they are allowed on earth falls in love with the resident beauty played by Yvonne Craig of Batgirl fame. She too plays her role as about as stiff as board albeit she's kind of cute.
Now how they meet and fall in love in there limited amount of time on earth is never cleared nor are about 100 or so other questions that don't really make sense. But if you are bored, snowed in with nothing else to watch then give it a look, it's truly a bad film that falls well below the levels of a enjoyable bad film.

I'll give it * out of ***** just because it had some goofy special effects and costumes otherwise it would have no redeeming qualities what so even.

[RCMerchant]

I believe MARS NEEDS WOMEN was originally a made for TV movie...so that explains alot about why it blows so badly. And that it was made by Larry Buchanan.

[Andrew]

The Martians were only planning to steal a handful of young women to help them repopulate their planet, if memory serves.  That sounds like it would be quite tiring for the "lucky girls."  Unless the Martians were going to split the women open like ripe pomegranates and scrape out all the viable eggs for implantation into Martian females.

[RCMerchant]

The Martians were only planning to steal a handful of young women to help them repopulate their planet, if memory serves.  That sounds like it would be quite tiring for the "lucky girls."  Unless the Martians were going to split the women open like ripe pomegranates and scrape out all the viable eggs for implantation into Martian females.

Wow! Get's me horny!

[CheezeFlixz]

Yeah something when wrong genetically and they were having 1 Martian female for every 100 males and to correct it they have to get some human DNA to correct the problem. There was so many things wrong with this film it'd make a great MST3K or bad movie review film. Perhaps I'll do that one day if I can bare setting through it again ... it was the fist movie I saw this year I sure hope it's not a sign of things to come, hopefully the worst is already over. The girl (Miss Thing, Miss PhD) never even so much as blinked when her Martian love told her he was Martian know what they were there for, her reaction didn't mirror the situation like I said it was just goofy and I keep the DVD and use it as torture on my children.