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Rub it all you want...it's already hard.

Started by Menard, April 12, 2008, 11:37:25 PM

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darthchicken

You get in your car, and get in an accident. How original.

*Rubs Lamp* I wish I was God!
"His coconut gun can fire in spurts. If he shoots ya, it's gonna hurt!" - James Madison

JaseSF

#31
Except for you're the god off a group of cannibals who believe by eating you they can gain immortality.  :buggedout:

Rubs lamp. I wish they'd bring back drive-in movies, at least near where I live.
"This above all: To thine own self be true!"

raj

Quote from: JaseSF on April 16, 2008, 09:56:37 PM
Except for you're the god off a group of cannibals who believe by eating you they can gain immortality.  :buggedout:

Rubs lamp. I wish they'd bring back drive-in movies, at least near where I live.

Poof, they do.  Except that when you're in the backseat with your honey, she gets pregnant and now you're "Waiting for the end of time."

rubs lamp:  I wish for one night of wild, passionate love making with Jessica Alba (pre-pregnancy)

Killer Bees

Quote from: raj on April 17, 2008, 03:06:40 PM
Quote from: JaseSF on April 16, 2008, 09:56:37 PM
Except for you're the god off a group of cannibals who believe by eating you they can gain immortality.  :buggedout:

Rubs lamp. I wish they'd bring back drive-in movies, at least near where I live.

Poof, they do.  Except that when you're in the backseat with your honey, she gets pregnant and now you're "Waiting for the end of time."

rubs lamp:  I wish for one night of wild, passionate love making with Jessica Alba (pre-pregnancy)

Wish granted.

Unfortunately, you realise too late that she's really a whiney needy stalker and no matter what you do, you can't get rid of her.   :teddyr:
Flower, gleam and glow
Let your power shine
Make the clock reverse
Bring back what once was mine
Heal what has been hurt
Change the fates' design
Save what has been lost
Bring back what once was mine
What once was mine.......

raj

Quote from: Killer Bees on April 17, 2008, 08:15:35 PM
Quote from: raj on April 17, 2008, 03:06:40 PM
Quote from: JaseSF on April 16, 2008, 09:56:37 PM
Except for you're the god off a group of cannibals who believe by eating you they can gain immortality.  :buggedout:

Rubs lamp. I wish they'd bring back drive-in movies, at least near where I live.

Poof, they do.  Except that when you're in the backseat with your honey, she gets pregnant and now you're "Waiting for the end of time."

rubs lamp:  I wish for one night of wild, passionate love making with Jessica Alba (pre-pregnancy)

Wish granted.

Unfortunately, you realise too late that she's really a whiney needy stalker and no matter what you do, you can't get rid of her.   :teddyr:


Been there, done that, only she wasn't Jessica Alba.  If I'm going to have a whiny needy stalker, I want her to at least be hot.

LilCerberus

Uhhh...
I, uhhhmmm...

I want an excuse!

A real one; One that'll actually hold up in court!
"Science Fiction & Nostalgia have become the same thing!" - T Bone Burnett
The world runs off money, even for those with a warped sense of what the world is.

Derf

Quote from: LilCerberus on April 17, 2008, 09:28:38 PM
Uhhh...
I, uhhhmmm...

I want an excuse!

A real one; One that'll actually hold up in court!

*POOF* The genie grants your wish with a time-proven excuse: "If the glove doesn't fit, you must acquit!"

I wish for inexhaustible energy; the next couple of days might kill me otherwise. I'm going to be veeeerrrrrry tired by Sunday if my wish isn't granted (lots of physical work to do).

"They tap dance not, neither do they fart." --Greensleeves, on the Fig Men of the Imagination, in "Twice Upon a Time."

LilCerberus

Quote from: Derf on April 18, 2008, 07:24:49 AM
Quote from: LilCerberus on April 17, 2008, 09:28:38 PM
Uhhh...
I, uhhhmmm...

I want an excuse!

A real one; One that'll actually hold up in court!

*POOF* The genie grants your wish with a time-proven excuse: "If the glove doesn't fit, you must acquit!"

I wish for inexhaustible energy; the next couple of days might kill me otherwise. I'm going to be veeeerrrrrry tired by Sunday if my wish isn't granted (lots of physical work to do).



Naw, that's evidence, rendered immaterial by circumstance, thus becoming an alibi suggesting that I didn't do anything, which people accuse me of all the time.

What I need is some sort of motivating situation resulting in forethought on the part of the represented party, prior to said malice, thus lending some form of legally recognized justification to the action, on my part, in question.
"Science Fiction & Nostalgia have become the same thing!" - T Bone Burnett
The world runs off money, even for those with a warped sense of what the world is.

Derf

Quote from: LilCerberus on April 19, 2008, 08:53:25 PM
What I need is some sort of motivating situation resulting in forethought on the part of the represented party, prior to said malice, thus lending some form of legally recognized justification to the action, on my part, in question.

Umm, "The cat was already on fire. I was just trying to put it out"?
"They tap dance not, neither do they fart." --Greensleeves, on the Fig Men of the Imagination, in "Twice Upon a Time."

LilCerberus

Quote from: Derf on April 19, 2008, 11:37:31 PM
Quote from: LilCerberus on April 19, 2008, 08:53:25 PM
What I need is some sort of motivating situation resulting in forethought on the part of the represented party, prior to said malice, thus lending some form of legally recognized justification to the action, on my part, in question.

Umm, "The cat was already on fire. I was just trying to put it out"?

No, I'm thinking something more along the lines of "Well, I was just driving down the street, and this tree jumped right out in the middle of the road and bit my car."
"Science Fiction & Nostalgia have become the same thing!" - T Bone Burnett
The world runs off money, even for those with a warped sense of what the world is.

Menard

Quote from: LilCerberus on April 19, 2008, 08:53:25 PM
Quote from: Derf on April 18, 2008, 07:24:49 AM
Quote from: LilCerberus on April 17, 2008, 09:28:38 PM
Uhhh...
I, uhhhmmm...

I want an excuse!

A real one; One that'll actually hold up in court!

*POOF* The genie grants your wish with a time-proven excuse: "If the glove doesn't fit, you must acquit!"

I wish for inexhaustible energy; the next couple of days might kill me otherwise. I'm going to be veeeerrrrrry tired by Sunday if my wish isn't granted (lots of physical work to do).



Naw, that's evidence, rendered immaterial by circumstance, thus becoming an alibi suggesting that I didn't do anything, which people accuse me of all the time.

What I need is some sort of motivating situation resulting in forethought on the part of the represented party, prior to said malice, thus lending some form of legally recognized justification to the action, on my part, in question.

The genie, staying with the theme of the thread, gives you an excuse that will 'stand-up' in court, even if nothing else will as he has granted you erectile dysfunction.

"That man was pointing at me in the most vulgar manner."

"That's impossible ma'am."

:teddyr:

Menard

Quote from: Derf on April 18, 2008, 07:24:49 AM
I wish for inexhaustible energy; the next couple of days might kill me otherwise. I'm going to be veeeerrrrrry tired by Sunday if my wish isn't granted (lots of physical work to do).

*poof*

The genie says "Pardon me, I had Mexican on the way here". :hot:


*poof*

The genie turns you into flubber; the original, not the singing and dancing kind. You now have inexhaustible energy, but find it strange that you are spending your life in a school locker stuck to the bottom of some kid's shoe.