The Stupid Questions/Comments topic

[Psycho Circus]

Eeew, steaks, I couldn't eat those, it looks like dead animal. I like bologna.

I can see where they're coming from. When I was little, I used to be much the same way. Hamburgers, for example, might have been made from lesser meat, more fat, more gristle, etc. than steak, but it was all ground up and blended into a nice, homogenous mixture that looked good, tasted good and was easy to chew. It wasn't so much that I didn't want it to look like an animal as that I couldn't stand to have any visible fat, gristle, connective tissue, etc.

Mind you, I grew out of that and I enjoy a good steak now and then. I also discovered that part of the reason I didn't like roasts growing up was that my parents bought cheap cuts and my mother cooked them more efficiently than well. I got served a fair bit of tough, bland meat as a kid. These days, I pride myself on being able to cook a good roast - like mother didn't make.

That's why I think we can all learn something from Jeffrey Dahmer...

[Jack]

I also discovered that part of the reason I didn't like roasts growing up was that my parents bought cheap cuts and my mother cooked them more efficiently than well. I got served a fair bit of tough, bland meat as a kid. These days, I pride myself on being able to cook a good roast - like mother didn't make.

Same here.  According to my mom, if a steak is even slightly pink in the middle "It's still raw", and needs to be left in for another 5 or preferably 10 minutes, until it attains the texture of shoe leather.

[schmendrik]

2.) People who would call up on Christmas morning and say, "Oh hi you're open?"

Er, I do that. Just because they're answering the phones doesn't mean their door is open. And often the question is "how long are you open" and the answer is "we close in five minutes" or "we closed 15 minutes ago".

Even when I answered the phone "Hi we're open 9-5 today how can I help you". 

Well, I admit I probably wouldn't ask the question in that case.

Every time I go into the "Everything is $1" store, I hear someone ask how much something is.

Er, I do that too. But only to my wife, and only to irritate her. She already knows I'm a smartass.

[ghouck]

I was in a motorcycle shop looking at helmets when a kid about 10 or so had just picked one out for himself. His mother said "There, that should keep you from breaking you neck". I thought that was funny.

I was in a store once and I decided to buy some antipasta, I asked the girl for a pound of it. She filled a small container and labeled it, , it came to .25 pounds or so. I told her I wanted a pound, , and she rammed a little more in, bringing it to  about .30 or so. I again said I need a full pound and she said "Thsi is a one pound container". .I said "Well then, why won't a full pound fit in it?". She gets frustrated and puts it all in a bigger container, fills it, ,and it comes out to right around a pound. After about 5 minutes of her being confused, she gets her boss to help her figure out why what she calls a 3-pound container of antipasta only rings up as 1 pound. They finally dumped all the antipasta in a BAG, , and weighed it again. The manager took it from them and put it back in the container, labeled it, and handed it to me. I guess he had it figured out. Just for fun I went back and asked for one of those containers full on onion rings, , wich came out at about .10 pounds, , in their 1-pound container. They never did figure it out.

I once went into a pizza joint with a bunch of smaller kids. We got a large pizza and I asked them to cut it into smaller pieces for the smaller kids. The girl stood there for an honest 5 minutes trying to figure out how to charge me more, I'm pretty sure the whole "They're getting twice as many pieces" thing confused her.

There's a place in town (restaraunt) that has free refills on their drinks. I ALWAYS see people, kids and adults alike, tha torder LARGE drinks, , and throw their drink away on the way out. I just don't get it.

A local restaraunt has an apitizer I like, and I asked them for the recipe. They wouldn't give it up no matter who I asked. Once I asked and they said no, so I said "Well just let me see the recipe so I can see if there's anything I'm allergic to in it" (After eating it already, as I had weekly for almost a year). They handed me the recipe, , and I took a picture of it with my digital camera, , saying I needed to take it to my doctor so he can tell me if I was allergic to anything in it. They fell for it. The worst part is that I've not been back since then, as they have gone to crap since then.

My IPS has a monthly traffic cap, mine is at 15Gig a month, and $5 a gig beyond that. Every time I have gone over, they try and sell me the next package up, which bumps it up to 20Gig a month, for $45.00 more per month. Every time I have to explain to them that if I go over that 5Gig, it will only cost me $25.00, and only IF I go over, not every month regardless. I usually leave before the confused looks end.

[AndyC]

I once went into a pizza joint with a bunch of smaller kids. We got a large pizza and I asked them to cut it into smaller pieces for the smaller kids. The girl stood there for an honest 5 minutes trying to figure out how to charge me more, I'm pretty sure the whole "They're getting twice as many pieces" thing confused her.

Well duh. You were trying to get a 24-slice pizza for the price of a 12-slice. 

I just remembered a funny one from years ago. Not so much a dumb comment as a dumb guy. Some friends and I went to a local nightclub. At the time, everyone else was 19 (the legal drinking age here), but my birthday was still a couple of months away. This place was really busy, and nobody seemed to be checking IDs too closely, so I just walked by the doorman and handed him my driver's licence. I looked older than the other guys, the years worked out to 19, and I figured he wouldn't even do the math. He glanced at it, and waved me in.

I got a few steps in the door, and "Wait a minute...come back here."

He took my licence again. He looked at it intently for a good 15 seconds, his lips moving ever so slightly. He called over two other bouncers, and all three examined my identification. To this day, I'm sure I could make out the faint smell of something burning. Finally, the guy says "sorry, I can't let you in."

What the heck, I thought. "You already let me in."

Wherein the guy actually explains to me why I'm not 19 yet. 

So, I didn't get in the bar, but I did confirm my theories about the average intelligence of nightclub bouncers.

[Psycho Circus]

I just remembered a funny one from years ago. Not so much a dumb comment as a dumb guy. Some friends and I went to a local nightclub. At the time, everyone else was 19 (the legal drinking age here), but my birthday was still a couple of months away. This place was really busy, and nobody seemed to be checking IDs too closely, so I just walked by the doorman and handed him my driver's licence. I looked older than the other guys, the years worked out to 19, and I figured he wouldn't even do the math. He glanced at it, and waved me in.

I got a few steps in the door, and "Wait a minute...come back here."

He took my licence again. He looked at it intently for a good 15 seconds, his lips moving ever so slightly. He called over two other bouncers, and all three examined my identification. To this day, I'm sure I could make out the faint smell of something burning. Finally, the guy says "sorry, I can't let you in."

What the heck, I thought. "You already let me in."

Wherein the guy actually explains to me why I'm not 19 yet. 

So, I didn't get in the bar, but I did confirm my theories about the average intelligence of nightclub bouncers.

Yeah, I remember when I went out one night with the missus when I was 18 and we'd been to a few bars, went to this one place where the guy at the door asked me for ID. I said I didn't have any on me, he says I can't enter. So I asked him how old do you think I am? He's says "26" WTF!? Which means I'm old enough then?? Duh! - The dingbat still didn't let me in. 

[Patient7]

The funny thing is, all of these idiots are thinking the exact same thing we thought once we attempted to explain it to them.  "What an idiot."  They think they're right, we know we're right, who's on first?  That old chestnut.

[Mr. DS]

A woman I work with describing her new cell phone purchase...

"Oh its great, there are many features and you can hear people youre talking to on it."

My wife when she saw a POW/MIA sticker.

"What does POW/MIA (prounounced pow-me-ah) mean?"

[Dennis]

When my daughter was taking swimming lessons at the local high school I would occasionally leave work early and meet her and my wife at the school, I would watch her lessons then we would go across the street to Tastee-Freeze and get something to eat. I would be wearing my work clothes, a bright yellow shirt that had a large (18" x 12") oval logo on the back, a fir tree silhouette with the words Arcadia Lumber Co. underneath this in smaller letters was Sash & Door Dept. A much smaller version of the same shape logo with my name was over my left front pocket, dark blue shorts, high top work boots and to top it all off a yellow baseball cap with brown trim and the Arcadia Lumber Sash & Door Dept. logo on the front. Once while we were sitting at one of the outdoor tables eating a guy walked up behind me and we had this conversation:
him "Excuse me, do you work for Arcadia Lumber ?"
me "Yes I do."
him " How much is 1/2" cdx plywood ?"
me  "I don't know, I'm not at work, I have no way to price anything ."
him "Oh, you work in the sash and door department. "
me "That's right."
him "So how much is a 6' x 4' sliding window, the one with the wood bars on it ?"
me  "I told you I have no way to price things, I'm not at work ."
him "You're pretty rude, I guess you don't want my business ."
I remember this conversation so well because this was one of the few times as an adult I was giving serious consideration to showing the guy how rude I could be, but my wife reminded me that we had somewhere to be (she knows me well) so what I said was "You are absolutely correct I don't want your business ."

[ghouck]

him "You're pretty rude, I guess you don't want my business ."

I've been in this situation several times before, and my answer after a few times became "Considering I'm not at work and thus not getting paid for this, it can hardly be considered business in the first place"

[Joe the Destroyer]

I remember some time ago that some guy called my cell phone and got a wrong number.  When I informed him of this, he asked, "Are you sure?"

Am I sure?  Oh, I dunno, there might be some other people living in this house and using this phone that I don't know about- OF COURSE I'M ****ING SURE!!!  I told the guy that I had lived in that house since birth, which I had, and that no one ever lived there by the name he was referring.  Bah...

[Trevor]

I remember some time ago that some guy called my cell phone and got a wrong number.  When I informed him of this, he asked, "Are you sure?"

Am I sure?  Oh, I dunno, there might be some other people living in this house and using this phone that I don't know about- OF COURSE I'M ****ING SURE!!!  I told the guy that I had lived in that house since birth, which I had, and that no one ever lived there by the name he was referring.  Bah...

[AndyC]

I remember some time ago that some guy called my cell phone and got a wrong number.  When I informed him of this, he asked, "Are you sure?"

Am I sure?  Oh, I dunno, there might be some other people living in this house and using this phone that I don't know about- OF COURSE I'M ****ING SURE!!!  I told the guy that I had lived in that house since birth, which I had, and that no one ever lived there by the name he was referring.  Bah...

Maybe he was coming on to you. "Are you sure I've got the wrong number, or do I have the right number (seductively)?" 

[BTM]

When I worked at Toys R Us, one of the managers once told me that someone called asking what our website address was.

I said, "Well, maybe they couldn't find the backwards 'r' on their keyboard."

[Newt]

I remember some time ago that some guy called my cell phone and got a wrong number.  When I informed him of this, he asked, "Are you sure?"

Am I sure?  Oh, I dunno, there might be some other people living in this house and using this phone that I don't know about- OF COURSE I'M ****ING SURE!!!  I told the guy that I had lived in that house since birth, which I had, and that no one ever lived there by the name he was referring.  Bah...

Are you sure you were in the right house?  Maybe he meant to call you when you were at someone else's house...